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🧟‍♂️ doc shartmanstein 🧟‍♂️

@docshartman.bsky.social

1.5K followers 1.2K following 7.4K posts

im three deers beep

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🧟‍♂️ doc shartmanstein 🧟‍♂️ @docshartman.bsky.social · Dec 3

I’ve lived here for years and only today noticed this /r/mildlyinfuriating post waiting to happen

a bathroom floor tiled with hexagons, a single black hexagon is out of place among the others

Reposted by 🧟‍♂️ doc shartmanstein 🧟‍♂️

Return of the Cmonstermacques @cmonmaque.bsky.social · 1h

My interview with Elon Musk and Donald Trump

Me: “I’m so happy both of you joined me today. To start things off I like to ask, what book are you reading?”

Trump: “The Bible. What can you say? It’s uh the ultimate”

Musk: *puts phone down* “confederacy of dances”

🧟‍♂️ doc shartmanstein 🧟‍♂️ @docshartman.bsky.social · 1h

Elon: also infinite jest
Trump: infinite jest. is that what you said, infinite jest
Elon: infinite jest yeah
Trump: infinite jest

Reposted by 🧟‍♂️ doc shartmanstein 🧟‍♂️

🧟‍♂️ doc shartmanstein 🧟‍♂️ @docshartman.bsky.social · Feb 12

I think about this every day

guest rapper on gorillaz song: i been in ends since ten kicking product round the bend, my mum died of tuberculosis i'm slipping into
psychosis Damon Albarn on the chorus: 00000oh flimsy
steve, where did you go, what have you seen

🧟‍♂️ doc shartmanstein 🧟‍♂️ @docshartman.bsky.social · 11h

the EMTs tend to lean more towards brass over woodwind, tbf

🧟‍♂️ doc shartmanstein 🧟‍♂️ @docshartman.bsky.social · 11h

wow stop posting any time

🧟‍♂️ doc shartmanstein 🧟‍♂️ @docshartman.bsky.social · 12h

damn CJ can shred

Reposted by 🧟‍♂️ doc shartmanstein 🧟‍♂️

🧟‍♂️ doc shartmanstein 🧟‍♂️ @docshartman.bsky.social · 1d

leftist violence would be giving the nobel peace prize to greta thunberg for the sole purpose of giving trump an aneurysm

🧟‍♂️ doc shartmanstein 🧟‍♂️ @docshartman.bsky.social · 12h

if his room is up for rent i want it

🧟‍♂️ doc shartmanstein 🧟‍♂️ @docshartman.bsky.social · 12h

maybe it'll be different this time

🧟‍♂️ doc shartmanstein 🧟‍♂️ @docshartman.bsky.social · 12h

this bloomin onion could fix me

🧟‍♂️ doc shartmanstein 🧟‍♂️ @docshartman.bsky.social · 17h

FvJ was my revelation that horror movies can be funny

Reposted by 🧟‍♂️ doc shartmanstein 🧟‍♂️

Mike X. Nichols @mikexnichols.bsky.social · 1d

War. War never changes.

🧟‍♂️ doc shartmanstein 🧟‍♂️ @docshartman.bsky.social · 1d

just plucked a fly out of the air with chopsticks. I wasn’t filming or anything sorry

🧟‍♂️ doc shartmanstein 🧟‍♂️ @docshartman.bsky.social · 1d

leftist violence would be giving the nobel peace prize to greta thunberg for the sole purpose of giving trump an aneurysm

🧟‍♂️ doc shartmanstein 🧟‍♂️ @docshartman.bsky.social · 1d

love coming back to a favorite bar after several years and they’re patting ppl down at the door

Reposted by 🧟‍♂️ doc shartmanstein 🧟‍♂️

🧟‍♂️ doc shartmanstein 🧟‍♂️ @docshartman.bsky.social · 1d

[mouth packed with tylenol tablets] mmph?

🧟‍♂️ doc shartmanstein 🧟‍♂️ @docshartman.bsky.social · 1d

🧟‍♂️ doc shartmanstein 🧟‍♂️ @docshartman.bsky.social · 1d

no one let roland emmerich see this

🧟‍♂️ doc shartmanstein 🧟‍♂️ @docshartman.bsky.social · 1d

bro holy fucking shit

Al Jazeera English @aljazeera.com · 5d

Videos show panic among onlookers in China’s Liuyang city after a drone show malfunction sent burning embers to the ground, igniting fires.

Reposted by 🧟‍♂️ doc shartmanstein 🧟‍♂️

🧟‍♂️ doc shartmanstein 🧟‍♂️ @docshartman.bsky.social · 3d

apropos of nothing i'm really loving templeton's stats on the charlotte's web wiki

Friends: Wilbur, Charlotte, barn animals
Enemies: Crows
Personality: Self centered (formerly), cynical (formerly), brutally honest, helpful, greedy, gluttonous, lazy, selfish (formerly), sneaky, crafty, unhelpful (formerly), self-interested, self-absorbed, grumpy, funny, somewhat caustic, self-serving, cunning, devoted, stubborn, conniving, grouchy, messy, food-addicted, moody, comedic, mischievous, rebellious, misunderstood, "potentially dangerous", carefree, egotistical, negative (formerly), snarky (formerly), caring, supportive, abrasive (formerly), foul-tempered (formerly), cruel (formerly), pragmatic, clever, soft, a bit shady, dry witted, mean (formerly), sly, careless (formerly)
Looks: Greasy, grey, overweight

🧟‍♂️ doc shartmanstein 🧟‍♂️ @docshartman.bsky.social · 1d

the kids don't know how hard wikihow used to go back in the day

some kinda frontalism hieroglyphic thing with multiple instances of penises being manhandled

Reposted by 🧟‍♂️ doc shartmanstein 🧟‍♂️

🧟‍♂️ doc shartmanstein 🧟‍♂️ @docshartman.bsky.social · 1d

if you let them steal your foreskin where the hell are you supposed to stash your extra tylenol??

🧟‍♂️ doc shartmanstein 🧟‍♂️ @docshartman.bsky.social · 1d

Welcome to silent hill wiki silent hill wiki the silent hill wiki any newcomer can edit

🧟‍♂️ doc shartmanstein 🧟‍♂️ @docshartman.bsky.social · 1d

lookin good here fam

🧟‍♂️ doc shartmanstein 🧟‍♂️ @docshartman.bsky.social · 1d

[chris parnell voice] i declare this case… DISS-missed 😏😏

Joshua J. Friedman @joshuajfriedman.com · 1d

NEW: Federal judge dismisses Drake's defamation case against Kendrick Lamar storage.courtlistener.com/recap/gov.us...

The issue in this case is whether "Not Like Us" can reasonably be understood to convey as a factual matter that Drake is a pedophile or that he has engaged in sexual relations with minors. In light of the overall context in which the statements in the Recording were made, the Court holds that it cannot.