Dread Pirate Zed
@dreadpiratezed.bsky.social
Just trying to get through it all with my soul intact. Badlife and proud of it. He/him
DPZ Karaoke: https://www.youtube.com/@DreadPirateZed
DPZ Karaoke: https://www.youtube.com/@DreadPirateZed
This popped back into my mind yesterday and you know what? It STILL cracks me up.
misophonia, n.: an intense aversion to hearing other people eat Japanese soup
January 30, 2026 at 5:48 PM
This popped back into my mind yesterday and you know what? It STILL cracks me up.
New karaoke video - Leonard Cohen's "Anthem". It's been stuck in my head lately for no particular reason...
🎶I can't run no more
With that lawless crowd
While the killers in high places
Say their prayers out loud
But they've summoned
They've summoned up a thundercloud
They're gonna hear from me🎶
🎶I can't run no more
With that lawless crowd
While the killers in high places
Say their prayers out loud
But they've summoned
They've summoned up a thundercloud
They're gonna hear from me🎶
Leonard Cohen - Anthem (karaoke)
YouTube video by DPZ Karaoke
youtu.be
January 29, 2026 at 8:36 PM
New karaoke video - Leonard Cohen's "Anthem". It's been stuck in my head lately for no particular reason...
🎶I can't run no more
With that lawless crowd
While the killers in high places
Say their prayers out loud
But they've summoned
They've summoned up a thundercloud
They're gonna hear from me🎶
🎶I can't run no more
With that lawless crowd
While the killers in high places
Say their prayers out loud
But they've summoned
They've summoned up a thundercloud
They're gonna hear from me🎶
Nacht und nebel. They just can't resist playing the old classics, can they?
A legal asylum-seeker who works at Chipotle and plays music at a church in Maine went missing. His pastor searched and searched, eventually finding his abandoned car with the keys on the floor.
ICE grabbed him. No criminal record. No explanation.
ICE grabbed him. No criminal record. No explanation.
January 29, 2026 at 7:17 PM
Nacht und nebel. They just can't resist playing the old classics, can they?
Yes, that Egyptologist _does_ have preternatural flatulence. I'm afraid it's the curse of... Toot Uncommon.
January 28, 2026 at 10:37 PM
Yes, that Egyptologist _does_ have preternatural flatulence. I'm afraid it's the curse of... Toot Uncommon.
So - how's YOUR day going, on a scale of 1 to "I just barely saved my glasses from falling into a public toilet"?
January 28, 2026 at 9:57 PM
So - how's YOUR day going, on a scale of 1 to "I just barely saved my glasses from falling into a public toilet"?
Reposted by Dread Pirate Zed
ICE kidnapped 5 people from my community this morning. I don’t live in Minneapolis. I live in LA County. They’re still here and their still brutalizing.
January 28, 2026 at 7:50 PM
ICE kidnapped 5 people from my community this morning. I don’t live in Minneapolis. I live in LA County. They’re still here and their still brutalizing.
Reposted by Dread Pirate Zed
found an alternative to TikTok called Reading A GD Comic Book
January 28, 2026 at 6:55 AM
found an alternative to TikTok called Reading A GD Comic Book
Reposted by Dread Pirate Zed
Trump's relentless bullying of Ukraine presented as a "peace process" is making us sound like broken records. Like, how many times do we have to say that asking Ukraine to withdraw from its most fortified region in exchange for another useless Budapest memorandum offer is a dumb proposition?
January 28, 2026 at 4:54 AM
Trump's relentless bullying of Ukraine presented as a "peace process" is making us sound like broken records. Like, how many times do we have to say that asking Ukraine to withdraw from its most fortified region in exchange for another useless Budapest memorandum offer is a dumb proposition?
Reposted by Dread Pirate Zed
And Pahlish, also MN based, have Melt Ice for sale and the proceeds go to the family of Renee Good.
MELT ICE - Charity Fundraiser PREORDER
A mix of shimmering silver holographic flakes and coppery pink iridescent flakes 100% of proceeds will be donated to the family of Renee Good *Please allow up to 10 business days for shipment of all ...
www.pahlish.com
January 25, 2026 at 8:49 PM
And Pahlish, also MN based, have Melt Ice for sale and the proceeds go to the family of Renee Good.
Reposted by Dread Pirate Zed
If you're a nail polish person, the MN-based small polish maker Atomic Polish is selling Ice Out, and 100% of the proceeds of it are going to the Immigrant Rapid Response Fund
ICE Out - Fundraising Nail Polish
**Shipping Update** Shipping will continue once more ingredients have arrived for this polish. Orders should go out in about 2 weeks. Ice Out is a blurple based polish with a blue/aqua shift and pink ...
www.atomicpolish.com
January 25, 2026 at 8:42 PM
If you're a nail polish person, the MN-based small polish maker Atomic Polish is selling Ice Out, and 100% of the proceeds of it are going to the Immigrant Rapid Response Fund
Reposted by Dread Pirate Zed
You may not agree with everything you read in our paper. But we trust you to read it and decide for yourselves. That’s why we print statements from powerful people we like without printing the facts showing those people are lying to you. You can do that part. We trust you.
January 15, 2026 at 6:27 PM
You may not agree with everything you read in our paper. But we trust you to read it and decide for yourselves. That’s why we print statements from powerful people we like without printing the facts showing those people are lying to you. You can do that part. We trust you.
There's a real pleasure in refusing to do things you really don't want to do - I call it a nopamine hit.
January 27, 2026 at 7:15 PM
There's a real pleasure in refusing to do things you really don't want to do - I call it a nopamine hit.
physicists are obsessed with big naturals
otherwise why look so hard for the higgs bosom?
otherwise why look so hard for the higgs bosom?
January 27, 2026 at 1:50 AM
physicists are obsessed with big naturals
otherwise why look so hard for the higgs bosom?
otherwise why look so hard for the higgs bosom?
Reposted by Dread Pirate Zed
’Tis thought, my lord, that you took bribes
January 27, 2026 at 12:56 AM
’Tis thought, my lord, that you took bribes
Would you believe... it's a phone case?
Of course I'm buying it; if nothing else, it will make me laugh every time I pick it up.
Of course I'm buying it; if nothing else, it will make me laugh every time I pick it up.
January 26, 2026 at 7:44 PM
Would you believe... it's a phone case?
Of course I'm buying it; if nothing else, it will make me laugh every time I pick it up.
Of course I'm buying it; if nothing else, it will make me laugh every time I pick it up.
I was running cable at a client's office yesterday; one of the front-desk staff said "That looks more like a two-man job."
I replied "Well, you're looking at the two men. Of course, I _am_ trying to lose some weight..."
I replied "Well, you're looking at the two men. Of course, I _am_ trying to lose some weight..."
January 23, 2026 at 2:43 AM
I was running cable at a client's office yesterday; one of the front-desk staff said "That looks more like a two-man job."
I replied "Well, you're looking at the two men. Of course, I _am_ trying to lose some weight..."
I replied "Well, you're looking at the two men. Of course, I _am_ trying to lose some weight..."
I was trying muster the motivation to call my congressman, but before I could, I got a call inviting me to his telephone Town Hall. In progress now.
January 22, 2026 at 3:06 AM
I was trying muster the motivation to call my congressman, but before I could, I got a call inviting me to his telephone Town Hall. In progress now.
Reposted by Dread Pirate Zed
Mafia goon: Nice house you got here...it'd be a shame if something happened to it
Media outlets: Mafia goon rules out use of force. Expresses regret at the mere thought of it
Media outlets: Mafia goon rules out use of force. Expresses regret at the mere thought of it
January 21, 2026 at 2:36 PM
Mafia goon: Nice house you got here...it'd be a shame if something happened to it
Media outlets: Mafia goon rules out use of force. Expresses regret at the mere thought of it
Media outlets: Mafia goon rules out use of force. Expresses regret at the mere thought of it
Reposted by Dread Pirate Zed
Bonus: people who voted for Trump won't even get the joke.
January 20, 2026 at 3:00 AM
Bonus: people who voted for Trump won't even get the joke.
Call me elitist, but if you don't get a reference and your reaction is to get annoyed rather than to take a moment and look it up, you may not be my audience. Everyone starts out ignorant; staying that way is a choice.
"If you watch an episode of Cheers, you might hear references to foreign filmmakers, to classical musicians, to Russian novelists. The level of assumed knowledge back then was far greater; now, TV is rarely adventurous in its allusions."
TV brain rot: The real reason television shows are getting stupider www.the-independent.com/arts-enterta...
January 21, 2026 at 3:45 AM
Call me elitist, but if you don't get a reference and your reaction is to get annoyed rather than to take a moment and look it up, you may not be my audience. Everyone starts out ignorant; staying that way is a choice.
"So - apart from the chapped hands - how was the play, Mrs. Macbeth?"
January 20, 2026 at 4:49 PM
"So - apart from the chapped hands - how was the play, Mrs. Macbeth?"
Yes, I felt that.
earthquake.usgs.gov/earthquakes/...
earthquake.usgs.gov/earthquakes/...
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earthquake.usgs.gov
January 20, 2026 at 1:59 AM
Yes, I felt that.
earthquake.usgs.gov/earthquakes/...
earthquake.usgs.gov/earthquakes/...
donuts make my brown eyes blue
January 19, 2026 at 6:18 AM
donuts make my brown eyes blue
Got some prime drip
January 18, 2026 at 1:54 AM
Got some prime drip
Reposted by Dread Pirate Zed
Every day I remind myself: I am enough.
It's working: everyone else says they've had enough of me, too.
#AphorismsForTheStupidTimeline
It's working: everyone else says they've had enough of me, too.
#AphorismsForTheStupidTimeline
January 16, 2026 at 8:27 PM
Every day I remind myself: I am enough.
It's working: everyone else says they've had enough of me, too.
#AphorismsForTheStupidTimeline
It's working: everyone else says they've had enough of me, too.
#AphorismsForTheStupidTimeline