I Am A Pyrite King
@iamapyriteking.bsky.social
Mining fools' good since before you were born. I can either tell you who I am, or show you who I am, but on social media it's tough to do both.
Make someone fall in love with you in three words or less:
I have kittens!
I have kittens!
December 21, 2025 at 4:59 AM
Make someone fall in love with you in three words or less:
I have kittens!
I have kittens!
Sure, start a suicidal trade war with China. Start an *actual* war, apparently.
But you will take my Bee & Flower Soap when you pry it from my cold, dead, sandalwood-scented hands.
🐝🌺🧼🇨🇳❤️
But you will take my Bee & Flower Soap when you pry it from my cold, dead, sandalwood-scented hands.
🐝🌺🧼🇨🇳❤️
December 21, 2025 at 12:24 AM
Sure, start a suicidal trade war with China. Start an *actual* war, apparently.
But you will take my Bee & Flower Soap when you pry it from my cold, dead, sandalwood-scented hands.
🐝🌺🧼🇨🇳❤️
But you will take my Bee & Flower Soap when you pry it from my cold, dead, sandalwood-scented hands.
🐝🌺🧼🇨🇳❤️
A Lord of the Rings cover band called QuEnya.
And some individual artists:
Lil Naz Gûl
Barrow White
Lothlorienderson
And some individual artists:
Lil Naz Gûl
Barrow White
Lothlorienderson
A Lord of The Rings cover band called U2 Shall Not Pass
A Lord of the Rings cover band called Flock of Smeagols
December 20, 2025 at 6:49 PM
A Lord of the Rings cover band called QuEnya.
And some individual artists:
Lil Naz Gûl
Barrow White
Lothlorienderson
And some individual artists:
Lil Naz Gûl
Barrow White
Lothlorienderson
Wait... It's now the Trump etc etc *Memorial* Center?
You get a memorial when you're *dead*. Like JFK.
Didn't think that one through, did you, Donald? Well... here's hoping.
You get a memorial when you're *dead*. Like JFK.
Didn't think that one through, did you, Donald? Well... here's hoping.
December 20, 2025 at 1:27 PM
Wait... It's now the Trump etc etc *Memorial* Center?
You get a memorial when you're *dead*. Like JFK.
Didn't think that one through, did you, Donald? Well... here's hoping.
You get a memorial when you're *dead*. Like JFK.
Didn't think that one through, did you, Donald? Well... here's hoping.
In honor of the one and only @afizgig.bsky.social, who's not available today, here's a contribution to #FenechFriday
😻
😻
December 19, 2025 at 9:52 PM
In honor of the one and only @afizgig.bsky.social, who's not available today, here's a contribution to #FenechFriday
😻
😻
I will EAT the entire Kennedy Center rather than let them name one of the country's preëminent performing arts institutions after that appalling, valueless (in every sense) piece of shit.
🍽️
🍽️
December 19, 2025 at 12:17 AM
I will EAT the entire Kennedy Center rather than let them name one of the country's preëminent performing arts institutions after that appalling, valueless (in every sense) piece of shit.
🍽️
🍽️
The Robert F Kennedy Jr. Center for the Promiscuous Spread of the Performing Arts
December 18, 2025 at 10:22 PM
The Robert F Kennedy Jr. Center for the Promiscuous Spread of the Performing Arts
12 drummers drumming?
11 pipers piping, 10 lords a-leaping, 9 -- NINE! -- ladies dancing?!
Somebody did their Christmas shopping at Costco...
11 pipers piping, 10 lords a-leaping, 9 -- NINE! -- ladies dancing?!
Somebody did their Christmas shopping at Costco...
December 14, 2025 at 7:53 PM
12 drummers drumming?
11 pipers piping, 10 lords a-leaping, 9 -- NINE! -- ladies dancing?!
Somebody did their Christmas shopping at Costco...
11 pipers piping, 10 lords a-leaping, 9 -- NINE! -- ladies dancing?!
Somebody did their Christmas shopping at Costco...
One day I will accidentally drop a bowl of soup in your lap, and it will be all over your britches.
🤔 I didn't do this right, did I?
🤔 I didn't do this right, did I?
One day the dirt will be filled in and it will be all over for you ditches.
One day this mandatory fire ban will expire, and it will be all over for you birches.
December 14, 2025 at 2:25 PM
One day I will accidentally drop a bowl of soup in your lap, and it will be all over your britches.
🤔 I didn't do this right, did I?
🤔 I didn't do this right, did I?
Walking into 2026
December 14, 2025 at 1:47 AM
Walking into 2026
Walking into 2026
December 14, 2025 at 1:40 AM
Walking into 2026
At this point, CBS News should just drop off the "News" part.
Also the "C".
Also the "C".
December 14, 2025 at 12:06 AM
At this point, CBS News should just drop off the "News" part.
Also the "C".
Also the "C".
Walking into 2026:
December 13, 2025 at 11:14 PM
Walking into 2026:
I have given away
the heart
you gave me
last Christmas
and which
you were probably
expecting me
to keep
Forgive me
it was disgusting
so red
and so raw
the heart
you gave me
last Christmas
and which
you were probably
expecting me
to keep
Forgive me
it was disgusting
so red
and so raw
December 13, 2025 at 10:56 PM
I have given away
the heart
you gave me
last Christmas
and which
you were probably
expecting me
to keep
Forgive me
it was disgusting
so red
and so raw
the heart
you gave me
last Christmas
and which
you were probably
expecting me
to keep
Forgive me
it was disgusting
so red
and so raw
Last Christmas
I gave you my heart
The very next day
You brought me the head
Of Alfredo García
I gave you my heart
The very next day
You brought me the head
Of Alfredo García
December 13, 2025 at 6:48 PM
Last Christmas
I gave you my heart
The very next day
You brought me the head
Of Alfredo García
I gave you my heart
The very next day
You brought me the head
Of Alfredo García
Last Christmas
I gave you my liver
The very next day
You ate it with fava beans
And a nice chianti
I gave you my liver
The very next day
You ate it with fava beans
And a nice chianti
December 12, 2025 at 3:48 PM
Last Christmas
I gave you my liver
The very next day
You ate it with fava beans
And a nice chianti
I gave you my liver
The very next day
You ate it with fava beans
And a nice chianti
Just did a face scan to verify my age on Bluesky
December 9, 2025 at 8:51 PM
Just did a face scan to verify my age on Bluesky
So the campanologist asked me if I might, by any chance, have a spare clapper. I did not.
This was a shame, but it did earn me the No Bell-Piece Prize.
This was a shame, but it did earn me the No Bell-Piece Prize.
December 9, 2025 at 1:57 AM
So the campanologist asked me if I might, by any chance, have a spare clapper. I did not.
This was a shame, but it did earn me the No Bell-Piece Prize.
This was a shame, but it did earn me the No Bell-Piece Prize.
You will be visited by three spirits.
(Would love this.)
(Would love this.)
December 9, 2025 at 1:49 AM
You will be visited by three spirits.
(Would love this.)
(Would love this.)
Ok, now *this* is disturbing:
I'm used to autocorrupt messing up my posts. I live for multilingual puns, so I expect my phone to ruin my jokes and plan accordingly.
But it looks like autocarrot is now looking BACKWARDS at my whole sentences and retroactively "correcting" things I've already fixed.
I'm used to autocorrupt messing up my posts. I live for multilingual puns, so I expect my phone to ruin my jokes and plan accordingly.
But it looks like autocarrot is now looking BACKWARDS at my whole sentences and retroactively "correcting" things I've already fixed.
December 8, 2025 at 2:23 PM
Ok, now *this* is disturbing:
I'm used to autocorrupt messing up my posts. I live for multilingual puns, so I expect my phone to ruin my jokes and plan accordingly.
But it looks like autocarrot is now looking BACKWARDS at my whole sentences and retroactively "correcting" things I've already fixed.
I'm used to autocorrupt messing up my posts. I live for multilingual puns, so I expect my phone to ruin my jokes and plan accordingly.
But it looks like autocarrot is now looking BACKWARDS at my whole sentences and retroactively "correcting" things I've already fixed.
Little Bunny FIFA
Stumbling through the White House
Picking up the Peace Prize
And shoving it up his...
(The past tense of FIFA is FAFO.)
Stumbling through the White House
Picking up the Peace Prize
And shoving it up his...
(The past tense of FIFA is FAFO.)
December 8, 2025 at 2:20 PM
Little Bunny FIFA
Stumbling through the White House
Picking up the Peace Prize
And shoving it up his...
(The past tense of FIFA is FAFO.)
Stumbling through the White House
Picking up the Peace Prize
And shoving it up his...
(The past tense of FIFA is FAFO.)
Aw damn it, I got another Peace Prize in my cereal box. I was hoping for a Hello Kitty.
December 8, 2025 at 2:17 PM
Aw damn it, I got another Peace Prize in my cereal box. I was hoping for a Hello Kitty.
Movie you've watched more than six times with a gif. Hard mode: no Stars (Wars or Trek), LOTR, or Marvel, Disney Animated or Pixar.
Harder mode: No DC, DreamWorks/Illumination, Amblin, sci-fi, horror, or from Japan.
(Even Harder mode: in cinemas, not on video!)
Harder mode: No DC, DreamWorks/Illumination, Amblin, sci-fi, horror, or from Japan.
(Even Harder mode: in cinemas, not on video!)
December 8, 2025 at 2:18 AM
Movie you've watched more than six times with a gif. Hard mode: no Stars (Wars or Trek), LOTR, or Marvel, Disney Animated or Pixar.
Harder mode: No DC, DreamWorks/Illumination, Amblin, sci-fi, horror, or from Japan.
(Even Harder mode: in cinemas, not on video!)
Harder mode: No DC, DreamWorks/Illumination, Amblin, sci-fi, horror, or from Japan.
(Even Harder mode: in cinemas, not on video!)
December 7, 2025 at 7:59 PM
Movie.
Theaters.
Forever. 🖤🍿🎬
Theaters.
Forever. 🖤🍿🎬
December 7, 2025 at 5:55 PM
Movie.
Theaters.
Forever. 🖤🍿🎬
Theaters.
Forever. 🖤🍿🎬