dr. Marcel Piss 🥜
@drpiss.bsky.social
All of my posts reflect the exact beliefs and opinions of my current employer
Pinned
dr. Marcel Piss 🥜
@drpiss.bsky.social
· Sep 18
In my dull-eyed cretin era
Maxing out the gamma on my computer screen. I need the magic fun surface to cause me physical harm as penance
February 14, 2026 at 11:17 AM
Maxing out the gamma on my computer screen. I need the magic fun surface to cause me physical harm as penance
It’s a Jimmy eat Jimmy world
February 14, 2026 at 11:05 AM
It’s a Jimmy eat Jimmy world
Wish I was snacking on a big ass turkey leg right now but instead I’ve got the night terrors again
February 14, 2026 at 10:55 AM
Wish I was snacking on a big ass turkey leg right now but instead I’ve got the night terrors again
Me and the boys
February 13, 2026 at 7:37 PM
Me and the boys
Reposted by dr. Marcel Piss 🥜
i just wanna
drive my truck
mow this grass
drink my beer
dress like ass
drive my truck
mow this grass
drink my beer
dress like ass
February 13, 2026 at 6:47 AM
i just wanna
drive my truck
mow this grass
drink my beer
dress like ass
drive my truck
mow this grass
drink my beer
dress like ass
To whom it may concern: Fuck Work Friday has been appropriated into Motherfucker Friday by the motherfuckers.
The fuck workers are encouraged to come over; it is a big tent and anyone is welcome to be a motherfucker. We are building an equitable world for every motherfucker.
The fuck workers are encouraged to come over; it is a big tent and anyone is welcome to be a motherfucker. We are building an equitable world for every motherfucker.
February 13, 2026 at 2:51 PM
To whom it may concern: Fuck Work Friday has been appropriated into Motherfucker Friday by the motherfuckers.
The fuck workers are encouraged to come over; it is a big tent and anyone is welcome to be a motherfucker. We are building an equitable world for every motherfucker.
The fuck workers are encouraged to come over; it is a big tent and anyone is welcome to be a motherfucker. We are building an equitable world for every motherfucker.
Touching grass is not enough
I need about 17 Miller High Lives! They’re the Champagnes of Beers!
I need about 17 Miller High Lives! They’re the Champagnes of Beers!
February 12, 2026 at 9:43 PM
Touching grass is not enough
I need about 17 Miller High Lives! They’re the Champagnes of Beers!
I need about 17 Miller High Lives! They’re the Champagnes of Beers!
Reposted by dr. Marcel Piss 🥜
The other half of the early agriculture shitpost canon:
February 12, 2026 at 12:47 PM
The other half of the early agriculture shitpost canon:
Burying the lede that many don’t have the money/time/energy to make decent meals for themselves/their household so they go for convenience. A rotisserie chicken at my local grocer is $6 & it’s multiple meals for my household w/ no prep. We’re all burned out & stressed, let us have this.
Gen Zers and millennials are swimming in student debt and may never own homes, but they’re splurging on gut-healthy juices and rotisserie chickens.
The Booming Business of Luxury Grocery Stores
A new crop of gourmet grocers has hit the city, drawing lines of trendy TikTokers, MAHA-curious health fiends and Instacart devotees who want to pop in for a treat.
on.wsj.com
February 12, 2026 at 3:23 PM
Burying the lede that many don’t have the money/time/energy to make decent meals for themselves/their household so they go for convenience. A rotisserie chicken at my local grocer is $6 & it’s multiple meals for my household w/ no prep. We’re all burned out & stressed, let us have this.
Reposted by dr. Marcel Piss 🥜
Everyone is dumb as shit now except me. I am normal dumb
February 11, 2026 at 3:43 PM
Everyone is dumb as shit now except me. I am normal dumb
I’m sucking up all your oxygen! It’s mine now! Deep breaths! Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep
February 12, 2026 at 2:26 PM
I’m sucking up all your oxygen! It’s mine now! Deep breaths! Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep
Reposted by dr. Marcel Piss 🥜
Don't give anything an Emmy until it's as good as this.
February 11, 2026 at 12:43 AM
Don't give anything an Emmy until it's as good as this.
Reposted by dr. Marcel Piss 🥜
metallica voice i was born for balding!!!!!!
February 7, 2026 at 3:32 AM
metallica voice i was born for balding!!!!!!
There probably are prototype blueprints for catapult-esque launch systems floating around NASA’s archives but, given that Musk’s skull is a shoebox full of dead bugs, he’s probably imagining a Wile E Coyote ACME sort of invention
insane to be reporting this stuff with a straight face. like what are we doing here man
February 11, 2026 at 11:54 PM
There probably are prototype blueprints for catapult-esque launch systems floating around NASA’s archives but, given that Musk’s skull is a shoebox full of dead bugs, he’s probably imagining a Wile E Coyote ACME sort of invention
Hair pants, pants made of hair
February 11, 2026 at 4:23 PM
Hair pants, pants made of hair
A hairy, many-headed infernal creature just stole my 2016 Mazda Miata (65k miles, paid off 2 years early, iridescent cobalt blue, bumper sticker that says “Brother, It’s Football Time!”, white door handles) and the cops aren’t doing shit about it
February 11, 2026 at 4:19 PM
A hairy, many-headed infernal creature just stole my 2016 Mazda Miata (65k miles, paid off 2 years early, iridescent cobalt blue, bumper sticker that says “Brother, It’s Football Time!”, white door handles) and the cops aren’t doing shit about it
Everyone is dumb as shit now except me. I am normal dumb
February 11, 2026 at 3:43 PM
Everyone is dumb as shit now except me. I am normal dumb
Once the Chinese perfect the art of drunk driving, Missouri and Tennessee will fall in line immediately.
February 11, 2026 at 2:34 PM
Once the Chinese perfect the art of drunk driving, Missouri and Tennessee will fall in line immediately.
Reposted by dr. Marcel Piss 🥜
FOUND IT
January 25, 2026 at 3:18 PM
FOUND IT
If Jimmy had been born a generation earlier, he would be in the redacted emails
MrBeast has acquired Step, a teen-focused financial app valued at $900 million, in a deal reportedly worth over $1 billion
February 10, 2026 at 10:46 PM
If Jimmy had been born a generation earlier, he would be in the redacted emails
Running for president on the “Everyone Gets A Weekly 15lb Brisket” platform
February 10, 2026 at 8:22 PM
Running for president on the “Everyone Gets A Weekly 15lb Brisket” platform
Château de Fuck You
February 10, 2026 at 5:13 PM
Château de Fuck You
Reposted by dr. Marcel Piss 🥜
they’re doing this to me tomorrow
February 10, 2026 at 3:11 PM
they’re doing this to me tomorrow
We’ve got cameras in our school and as far as I’m aware, they have never been useful for their intended purpose which is to help manage hallway misbehavior. They’ve mostly been used as a means of monitoring staff. This doesn’t surprise me.
Tell me more about how school surveillance is about safety.
Local police aid ICE by tapping school cameras amid Trump’s immigration crackdown
Local police assisted federal immigration agents by repeatedly searching school cameras that record license plate numbers, data show
www.theguardian.com
February 10, 2026 at 3:44 PM
We’ve got cameras in our school and as far as I’m aware, they have never been useful for their intended purpose which is to help manage hallway misbehavior. They’ve mostly been used as a means of monitoring staff. This doesn’t surprise me.