Eugene Hetzel
@eugenehetzel.bsky.social
Pinned
Eugene Hetzel
@eugenehetzel.bsky.social
· Apr 23
What if you just beat the ass of the zombies as the infection starts? Put 'em down. You just saved the world. Welcome to level 2 of 20.
I stand with....no.you dont. I hate that term. You arent a solider. This isnt a caucus.
January 20, 2026 at 12:35 AM
I stand with....no.you dont. I hate that term. You arent a solider. This isnt a caucus.
If you think mockery or shame means a damn thing against oppression, you are Daily Show/80s teen comedy poisoned. Fanatics react to mockery with renewed resolve. Shame is dead, and they think theyve "done nothing wrong". All mockery does is make you feel better and lose resolve. Stop.
January 19, 2026 at 8:08 PM
If you think mockery or shame means a damn thing against oppression, you are Daily Show/80s teen comedy poisoned. Fanatics react to mockery with renewed resolve. Shame is dead, and they think theyve "done nothing wrong". All mockery does is make you feel better and lose resolve. Stop.
Blessed are the peacemakers. Blessed are the unifers. Blessed are the defenders. Blessed are the righteous in Grace. We are blessed to have had MLK, who showed the purpose of vision and commitment. We are blessed to have Malcolm who showed us in reform we can find the better path.
January 19, 2026 at 5:01 PM
Blessed are the peacemakers. Blessed are the unifers. Blessed are the defenders. Blessed are the righteous in Grace. We are blessed to have had MLK, who showed the purpose of vision and commitment. We are blessed to have Malcolm who showed us in reform we can find the better path.
At a certain point, you can continue to fool yourself, or you can accept whats slapping you in the face. I am not asking people to wake up. I am asking them to stop trying to sleep.
January 19, 2026 at 12:15 AM
At a certain point, you can continue to fool yourself, or you can accept whats slapping you in the face. I am not asking people to wake up. I am asking them to stop trying to sleep.
Yeah, they are horrible. If you have the power granted to you, but dont use it to fight back, you are just as bad.
January 16, 2026 at 8:59 PM
Yeah, they are horrible. If you have the power granted to you, but dont use it to fight back, you are just as bad.
BUt ThEy aRe AFtaiD. Fuck you and your cowards. Quit if you are afraid. Thats the job
January 14, 2026 at 9:14 PM
BUt ThEy aRe AFtaiD. Fuck you and your cowards. Quit if you are afraid. Thats the job
Reposted by Eugene Hetzel
Reposted by Eugene Hetzel
"The Foreskin Tactical Hoodie is perfect for outdoorsmen and army-man dress-up parties. It is not for doing stuff women normally do, like yoga, crying, or watching 'Heated Rivalry.'"
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/sor...
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/sor...
Sorry Ladies, the Foreskin Tactical Hoodie Is Only for Men
The Foreskin Tactical Hoodie is the antithesis of all things feminine and female. It comes in black, brown, and olive green. It does not come in fu...
www.mcsweeneys.net
January 12, 2026 at 7:29 PM
"The Foreskin Tactical Hoodie is perfect for outdoorsmen and army-man dress-up parties. It is not for doing stuff women normally do, like yoga, crying, or watching 'Heated Rivalry.'"
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/sor...
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/sor...
Reposted by Eugene Hetzel
The media will NEVER tire of their Cletus Safaris.
January 13, 2026 at 3:55 PM
The media will NEVER tire of their Cletus Safaris.
Apparently, War IS peace. Ugh.
January 13, 2026 at 3:06 PM
Apparently, War IS peace. Ugh.
Reposted by Eugene Hetzel
"They want an excuse to fire on protesters."
"They're looking for a reason to declare martial law. Don't..."
Ah. See, they're already doing and saying whatever they want. They're putting people in camps and murdering people at will.
Our behavior doesn't drive theirs.
"They're looking for a reason to declare martial law. Don't..."
Ah. See, they're already doing and saying whatever they want. They're putting people in camps and murdering people at will.
Our behavior doesn't drive theirs.
January 10, 2026 at 12:11 AM
"They want an excuse to fire on protesters."
"They're looking for a reason to declare martial law. Don't..."
Ah. See, they're already doing and saying whatever they want. They're putting people in camps and murdering people at will.
Our behavior doesn't drive theirs.
"They're looking for a reason to declare martial law. Don't..."
Ah. See, they're already doing and saying whatever they want. They're putting people in camps and murdering people at will.
Our behavior doesn't drive theirs.
There is no bait to take. They will do whatever you think caution will avoid. You either resist as a government official that took an oath to serve and protect the people, or you show you dont care and are on the wrong side. In effect, youve taken the bait, politico.
January 10, 2026 at 8:50 PM
There is no bait to take. They will do whatever you think caution will avoid. You either resist as a government official that took an oath to serve and protect the people, or you show you dont care and are on the wrong side. In effect, youve taken the bait, politico.
Reposted by Eugene Hetzel
From firing the local MAGA-allied police chief to calling for the abolishment of ICE, so much inaction by elected Democrats boils down to "but I'm scared!"
I am very sorry, but you said you could do this job when you were hired. Please step aside if you can't.
I am very sorry, but you said you could do this job when you were hired. Please step aside if you can't.
January 10, 2026 at 3:57 PM
From firing the local MAGA-allied police chief to calling for the abolishment of ICE, so much inaction by elected Democrats boils down to "but I'm scared!"
I am very sorry, but you said you could do this job when you were hired. Please step aside if you can't.
I am very sorry, but you said you could do this job when you were hired. Please step aside if you can't.
Reposted by Eugene Hetzel
it certainly does not mean I secretly like the roaches and want them to carry on infesting my house
if I were happy with the roaches infesting my house I wouldn’t be mad at my shitty exterminator
if I were happy with the roaches infesting my house I wouldn’t be mad at my shitty exterminator
January 3, 2026 at 9:51 PM
it certainly does not mean I secretly like the roaches and want them to carry on infesting my house
if I were happy with the roaches infesting my house I wouldn’t be mad at my shitty exterminator
if I were happy with the roaches infesting my house I wouldn’t be mad at my shitty exterminator
Reposted by Eugene Hetzel
if I hire an exterminator to handle a roach infestation and he instead presents me with a list of reasons he is incapable of doing so while asking for more money so that he can maybe handle it later, I am not angrier at the roaches, I am in the market for a better exterminator
January 3, 2026 at 9:25 PM
if I hire an exterminator to handle a roach infestation and he instead presents me with a list of reasons he is incapable of doing so while asking for more money so that he can maybe handle it later, I am not angrier at the roaches, I am in the market for a better exterminator
Reposted by Eugene Hetzel
I expect evil people to do evil things
I also expect people selling themselves as a bulwark against those evil people to fight tooth and nail against the evil things evil people do
only one of these groups is currently performing according to expectations
I also expect people selling themselves as a bulwark against those evil people to fight tooth and nail against the evil things evil people do
only one of these groups is currently performing according to expectations
January 3, 2026 at 9:22 PM
I expect evil people to do evil things
I also expect people selling themselves as a bulwark against those evil people to fight tooth and nail against the evil things evil people do
only one of these groups is currently performing according to expectations
I also expect people selling themselves as a bulwark against those evil people to fight tooth and nail against the evil things evil people do
only one of these groups is currently performing according to expectations
Reposted by Eugene Hetzel
the reason people sometimes act madder at democrats than republicans when republicans do impossibly evil shit is the same reason why, if you hired an exterminator to handle a roach infestation and he showed up to feed and play with them instead, your first instinct wouldn’t be to yell at the roaches
January 3, 2026 at 9:19 PM
the reason people sometimes act madder at democrats than republicans when republicans do impossibly evil shit is the same reason why, if you hired an exterminator to handle a roach infestation and he showed up to feed and play with them instead, your first instinct wouldn’t be to yell at the roaches
If you are whining about liberals, you are a joke.
January 3, 2026 at 1:55 AM
If you are whining about liberals, you are a joke.
George Carlin wasn't a comedian. He was an entertaining observational philosopher and social commentator. People dont quote tweet other successful comedians. This is your clue he wasn't telling jokes, but rather providing ancedotes.
January 2, 2026 at 8:15 PM
George Carlin wasn't a comedian. He was an entertaining observational philosopher and social commentator. People dont quote tweet other successful comedians. This is your clue he wasn't telling jokes, but rather providing ancedotes.
That's not a typo, it's Olde English.
January 2, 2026 at 4:26 PM
That's not a typo, it's Olde English.
Reposted by Eugene Hetzel
Of the 5 worst things I've ever drank, 3 were Jones Thanksgiving sodas, and 2 were for automotive use.
September 15, 2025 at 4:11 PM
Of the 5 worst things I've ever drank, 3 were Jones Thanksgiving sodas, and 2 were for automotive use.
I've gone full Eugene.
January 1, 2026 at 5:32 PM
I've gone full Eugene.
Imagine being a hysterical gorgon, a funny medusa, and never being able to do stand up. Happy New Year!
January 1, 2026 at 4:08 PM
Imagine being a hysterical gorgon, a funny medusa, and never being able to do stand up. Happy New Year!
There will never be a Leonard Part 7.
December 31, 2025 at 5:26 AM
There will never be a Leonard Part 7.