Crystal B.
@evilerato.bsky.social
Hard of hearing, death doula, otherwise disaster human, dog-mom, cat-mom, auntie, fandomer, seeker of peace, and always hoping for a calmer life. [My views are my own, and do not reflect in any way on my employer]
Reposted by Crystal B.
This is one of those things like "You used to not be able to see two feet in front of your face on a sunny day in London" that no one who didn't experience it will ever be able to fully comprehend. Diners used to have smoking and non-smoking patrons seated directly next to each other.
It’s crazy that people used to be able to just smoke cigarettes wherever they wanted
December 15, 2025 at 4:34 PM
This is one of those things like "You used to not be able to see two feet in front of your face on a sunny day in London" that no one who didn't experience it will ever be able to fully comprehend. Diners used to have smoking and non-smoking patrons seated directly next to each other.
I went south for the memorial, and woke up to 25*F weather. In fucking Charleston. Good thing I brought a scarf for baby!Izzy. He's not sure he can eat the whole waffle, but he's gonna try.
December 15, 2025 at 3:50 PM
I went south for the memorial, and woke up to 25*F weather. In fucking Charleston. Good thing I brought a scarf for baby!Izzy. He's not sure he can eat the whole waffle, but he's gonna try.
Reposted by Crystal B.
December 15, 2025 at 2:32 AM
Reposted by Crystal B.
if I won a lot of money, I’d assemble all the gifts that comprise the twelve days of christmas, and anonymously send it one of my enemies
December 15, 2025 at 12:46 AM
if I won a lot of money, I’d assemble all the gifts that comprise the twelve days of christmas, and anonymously send it one of my enemies
Reposted by Crystal B.
Furthermore...
December 14, 2025 at 2:10 AM
Furthermore...
At my aunt's memorial today. Knew it would be hard, but seeing my uncle -dad's brother - almost broke me. They look so much alike. 😭
December 14, 2025 at 7:38 PM
At my aunt's memorial today. Knew it would be hard, but seeing my uncle -dad's brother - almost broke me. They look so much alike. 😭
I love having a panic attack at a memorial luncheon.
December 14, 2025 at 7:22 PM
I love having a panic attack at a memorial luncheon.
Reposted by Crystal B.
friendly reminder that you didn't waste your year. any moments of happiness or comfort. any small accomplishments, they all matter. this has been a really hard year, and simply surviving is something to be proud of.
November 20, 2025 at 12:32 PM
friendly reminder that you didn't waste your year. any moments of happiness or comfort. any small accomplishments, they all matter. this has been a really hard year, and simply surviving is something to be proud of.
Reposted by Crystal B.
cookie monster, crying, as the body of christ just crumbles and falls from his mouth
the line is actually "no JESUS for us meeses," an oblique reference to the fact that, as muppets are unable to take communion, they are forbidden from entering the kingdom of god
December 14, 2025 at 4:36 AM
cookie monster, crying, as the body of christ just crumbles and falls from his mouth
Reposted by Crystal B.
obviously not the major driver of his health concerns but it is very funny to read A Christmas Carol as an adult and realize that when tiny tim first says "God bless us, every one!" he's a severely malnourished child and they've given him a cup of hot gin
December 12, 2025 at 10:30 PM
obviously not the major driver of his health concerns but it is very funny to read A Christmas Carol as an adult and realize that when tiny tim first says "God bless us, every one!" he's a severely malnourished child and they've given him a cup of hot gin
I can't feel my fingers and I am not a fan. The trigger finger release went well, but as someone with both carpal tunnel and thoracic outlet syndrome, the numb fingers are driving me nuts.
December 12, 2025 at 10:20 PM
I can't feel my fingers and I am not a fan. The trigger finger release went well, but as someone with both carpal tunnel and thoracic outlet syndrome, the numb fingers are driving me nuts.
Reposted by Crystal B.
"people with renaissance-level art skills don't exist anymore" yes they do their username is something like 03748218_ and they spend all their time drawing pornography so deranged it'd kill hugh hefner a second time
December 12, 2025 at 12:06 PM
"people with renaissance-level art skills don't exist anymore" yes they do their username is something like 03748218_ and they spend all their time drawing pornography so deranged it'd kill hugh hefner a second time
Reposted by Crystal B.
Reposted by Crystal B.
Was told by a vet that you can 'probably' perform CPR on a snake, and all I could think was...
a man wearing a party hat is drinking from a bottle
Alt: A fella in a party hat blowing one of those party streamer things that unroll as you blow into them. Whether snakes give a merry toot when you do this to them isn't mentioned in the scientific literature. Yet.
media.tenor.com
December 11, 2025 at 2:00 PM
Was told by a vet that you can 'probably' perform CPR on a snake, and all I could think was...
Reposted by Crystal B.
Gyrfalcon visits our Arctic cam!
December 11, 2025 at 3:50 PM
Gyrfalcon visits our Arctic cam!
Reposted by Crystal B.
Me: I need you. I can’t go on without you. Why do you want to hurt me?
My lower back: Because you turned very slightly to the left.
My lower back: Because you turned very slightly to the left.
December 11, 2025 at 3:12 AM
Me: I need you. I can’t go on without you. Why do you want to hurt me?
My lower back: Because you turned very slightly to the left.
My lower back: Because you turned very slightly to the left.
Reposted by Crystal B.
Manatee Magic. Escape stress, embrace nature.
December 10, 2025 at 3:41 PM
Manatee Magic. Escape stress, embrace nature.
Reposted by Crystal B.
I really hate asking for help, but with the loss of half my pay on my next check, I am going to have issues paying all my bills and loans. I have a kofi and I also have venmo (DM me for that).
ko-fi.com/killerweasel
ko-fi.com/killerweasel
Buy killerweasel a Coffee
Become a supporter of killerweasel today!
ko-fi.com
December 10, 2025 at 1:27 PM
I really hate asking for help, but with the loss of half my pay on my next check, I am going to have issues paying all my bills and loans. I have a kofi and I also have venmo (DM me for that).
ko-fi.com/killerweasel
ko-fi.com/killerweasel
I made candied peel over the weekend for some baking, and of course there's leftovers and it makes for a delightful breakfast dessert.
December 10, 2025 at 2:25 PM
I made candied peel over the weekend for some baking, and of course there's leftovers and it makes for a delightful breakfast dessert.
Reposted by Crystal B.
Reblog to instantly kill a minimalist.
December 10, 2025 at 12:49 PM
Reblog to instantly kill a minimalist.
Reposted by Crystal B.
A three word love story:
I got you
I got you
December 10, 2025 at 12:34 AM
A three word love story:
I got you
I got you
Reposted by Crystal B.
Someone else said it but it bears repeating:
"The Muppet Christmas Carol" is the best movie ever because Michael Caine treats the Muppets as fellow, human actors.
"Muppet Treasure Island" is the best movie ever because Tim Curry treats himself as a Muppet.
"The Muppet Christmas Carol" is the best movie ever because Michael Caine treats the Muppets as fellow, human actors.
"Muppet Treasure Island" is the best movie ever because Tim Curry treats himself as a Muppet.
December 10, 2025 at 3:45 AM
Someone else said it but it bears repeating:
"The Muppet Christmas Carol" is the best movie ever because Michael Caine treats the Muppets as fellow, human actors.
"Muppet Treasure Island" is the best movie ever because Tim Curry treats himself as a Muppet.
"The Muppet Christmas Carol" is the best movie ever because Michael Caine treats the Muppets as fellow, human actors.
"Muppet Treasure Island" is the best movie ever because Tim Curry treats himself as a Muppet.
Sucked it up and told my supervisor I'll likely not be at our holiday luncheon. It's in a big, open room with almost no sound dampening (that I can tell, anyway, based on prior experience), and it's likely to be full of other office groups. Basically a sound/jumpscare nightmare for me.
December 9, 2025 at 6:59 PM
Sucked it up and told my supervisor I'll likely not be at our holiday luncheon. It's in a big, open room with almost no sound dampening (that I can tell, anyway, based on prior experience), and it's likely to be full of other office groups. Basically a sound/jumpscare nightmare for me.
Reposted by Crystal B.
happy anniversary, ikea monkey. i hope you are enjoying your life in the sanctuary in canada, and if anything untoward has happened to him, i do not want to know about
December 9, 2025 at 2:50 PM
happy anniversary, ikea monkey. i hope you are enjoying your life in the sanctuary in canada, and if anything untoward has happened to him, i do not want to know about
Reposted by Crystal B.
"Ooh, Copilot is down, does anyone have any advice?"
Yes! Think! With your brain! If you don't know something, research it and learn! Grow as a human! Communicate with people using *your* words!!!
Yes! Think! With your brain! If you don't know something, research it and learn! Grow as a human! Communicate with people using *your* words!!!
December 9, 2025 at 10:55 AM
"Ooh, Copilot is down, does anyone have any advice?"
Yes! Think! With your brain! If you don't know something, research it and learn! Grow as a human! Communicate with people using *your* words!!!
Yes! Think! With your brain! If you don't know something, research it and learn! Grow as a human! Communicate with people using *your* words!!!