Happy birthday, mate!

Would I could find a fine frog!

Found this blob of glitter glue on the path today. Fairly sure it’s some kind of metaphor for the state of everything.

I love my parents but I don't think I can do another ten years of saying "No, that's not true. That far right influencer/politician is lying to you again. Here are the facts." They get so frightened by all the lies. It's exhausting.

Booze cruise, then 👍 We set sail and don't touch land - except to refill our wine glasses - until all this shit is sorted out.

We do have cheaper booze, though. But we need that.

I scuttled through the streets of Oslo like a pale English goblin in awe of their sexiness.

'Do you not have something warmer?' they would ask me, bemused, from inside their Narnia-esque faux-fur cloaks of glory.
'No, because, if I did, I would expire from heat stroke on the Northern Line in a rush hour in winter. And I would also look like a Furbie rather than a Nordic queen.'

I used to travel to Oslo frequently for work and I have never felt like such a stunted, pallid troll as I did whilst walking through their streets of Viking gods and goddesses in my New Look overcoat.

Anyway. Norwegians are really sexy, right?

The opening comments of this video should be enough to make every delusional British journalist, shilling for a Trump win, recoil in embarrassment.

It also shows how utterly inadequate most of them are to wield so much influence over the information you receive.

They didn’t just NOT give Trump the Nobel Peace Prize, they wrote a citation that reads like an anti-Trump rallying cry.

(He’s gonna extra-tariff Norway now, isn’t he?)

Fighting myself not to sink so far into apocalyptic cynicism because I entirely expect him to lose *all* interest in peace anywhere for the next year. This whole thing feels like a rush to do your coursework before a deadline that passed in January when that fucking deal was on the table already.

If the Norwegians had a sense of humour, they'd give Obama a second peace prize today.

Christ...

Can’t they just give him a jumbo jet like Qatar did? Write Nobel down the side or something.

Or maybe write ‘Nobble Piss Prize’ he can’t read it anyway.

The first lady has gotten a book ripped from shelves and destroyed.

The bit she didn't like was where it reported that Epstein introduced her to her husband.

Oh, but they don't ban books. #bannedbooksweek

Young Tories in 1997 were a trip. They ran for student office and used 'Things Can Only Get Better' as a theme song. They did not win...

I knew some of the Young Conservatives at university in 1997 (yes, they existed and they *all* wore beige chinos). One of them told me he'd been to conference and two people had sex on the dance floor. So the added knowledge that today's cohort are tweed-clad, Maga cosplaying sister-fuckers is a lot

Everyone is disenchanted with fourteen years of Tory incompetence, he acknowledges, singularly failing to recognise that he waived every single one of those fucking incompentencies through with a pat on the bottom for Boris Johnson.

Nick Ferrari is currently gushing over some dude calling to say 'everyone he knows' is voting Reform in the next election like he's provided an exit poll. 'Wow,' he exhales, like Jim from Leeds is a fucking political guru rather than some dude who heard something in the pub yesterday.

He's the human embodiment of a UKIP Facebook message board.

Fucking. Hell.

WUT?