Needle in the HeyBails
@heybails.bsky.social
Wilco, Phish, fishing, self-loathing, sarcasm, and dirty jokes. Chaotic good. Former 9.8 on HotOrNot.com
Pinned
Almost all my posts earnie but I will sarcasm the shit out of everyone else’s.
The timeline is woefully lacking in Muppet Christmas Carol
December 13, 2025 at 8:38 PM
The timeline is woefully lacking in Muppet Christmas Carol
Dec 11 at 11:24 am CST and I’m out #whamaggedon
December 11, 2025 at 5:25 PM
Dec 11 at 11:24 am CST and I’m out #whamaggedon
Holy fuck I don’t think I’ve seen a worse officiated game than Iowa-ISU women’s bball tonight.
December 11, 2025 at 2:00 AM
Holy fuck I don’t think I’ve seen a worse officiated game than Iowa-ISU women’s bball tonight.
Hey @dijcrap.bsky.social you up Biffin on your Poggi?
She Biff on my Poggi till I’m terminated from the University of Michigan with cause effective immediately
Statement from Michigan:
December 10, 2025 at 10:55 PM
Hey @dijcrap.bsky.social you up Biffin on your Poggi?
Reposted by Needle in the HeyBails
R/phish is saying Sphere emails are starting to go out FYI
December 9, 2025 at 3:20 PM
R/phish is saying Sphere emails are starting to go out FYI
Reposted by Needle in the HeyBails
It’s very funny to me that countries are trying to pass laws banning teens from social media until they’re older and can “handle it” as if the last decade hasn’t been about watching rich middle aged men nuke their brains on Twitter and then run the USA via shitpost.
Dude. Yes. Alito and Thomas are of course the standout examples, but all of the Republican justices have tells in their writing and their questioning indicating that they are, to varying degrees, marinating their brains in dumb bitch juice
My theory, fwiw, is that Supreme Court Justices are not immune to Twitter brain poisoning. I suspect all six have horrific information environments and have therefore lost the ability to understand the people who don't agree with them.
December 8, 2025 at 6:13 PM
It’s very funny to me that countries are trying to pass laws banning teens from social media until they’re older and can “handle it” as if the last decade hasn’t been about watching rich middle aged men nuke their brains on Twitter and then run the USA via shitpost.
Pretty sure I could live on baby carrots and triscuits.
December 8, 2025 at 7:22 PM
Pretty sure I could live on baby carrots and triscuits.
People were talking about these so I gave em a try. Holy fuck they are…complicated.
December 7, 2025 at 8:43 PM
People were talking about these so I gave em a try. Holy fuck they are…complicated.
Incredibly Iowa-specific skeet: the announcers mentioned Jess Settles senior year. Uhhh, which one? Dude had like 3 of em
December 6, 2025 at 10:54 PM
Incredibly Iowa-specific skeet: the announcers mentioned Jess Settles senior year. Uhhh, which one? Dude had like 3 of em
Reposted by Needle in the HeyBails
Did someone say butt stuff?
December 5, 2025 at 9:07 PM
Did someone say butt stuff?
Did someone say butt stuff?
December 5, 2025 at 9:07 PM
Did someone say butt stuff?
“Ho-ho-hold on a minute” is now forever etched into my brain.
Ok, we’re kind of drifting back into ‘Vixen-territory’ with ‘Cupid.’
Cupid | noun | the Roman god of erotic love
Ho-ho-hold on a minute...
Cupid | noun | the Roman god of erotic love
Ho-ho-hold on a minute...
December 5, 2025 at 2:58 PM
“Ho-ho-hold on a minute” is now forever etched into my brain.
Last night I had a blistering bout of self-awareness and it was…sad
December 5, 2025 at 2:55 PM
Last night I had a blistering bout of self-awareness and it was…sad
I do love possums after all
December 4, 2025 at 3:06 PM
I do love possums after all
Ngl, I’m pretty fucking bricked up by this
December 3, 2025 at 10:52 PM
Ngl, I’m pretty fucking bricked up by this
This one’s for the coders: scraping Freeform text fields is the absolute worst in any language
December 3, 2025 at 1:22 PM
This one’s for the coders: scraping Freeform text fields is the absolute worst in any language
Reposted by Needle in the HeyBails
If I lived in Denver I’d be 1million percent in
November 29, 2025 at 6:21 PM
If I lived in Denver I’d be 1million percent in
Reposted by Needle in the HeyBails
Carma is so bougie it hurts
November 29, 2025 at 3:53 PM
Carma is so bougie it hurts
Carma is so bougie it hurts
November 29, 2025 at 3:53 PM
Carma is so bougie it hurts
My dog’s as cute as yours
November 29, 2025 at 2:52 PM
My dog’s as cute as yours
Share something random or you’ll have an awful December.
November 28, 2025 at 1:43 AM
Share something random or you’ll have an awful December.
Sometimes I take what I feel is a good picture and force you guys to see it. Happy Thanksgiving, Wooks
November 28, 2025 at 12:14 AM
Sometimes I take what I feel is a good picture and force you guys to see it. Happy Thanksgiving, Wooks