John Moynes
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johnmoynes.bsky.social
John Moynes
@johnmoynes.bsky.social
Poet, comedian, tall
Scientists at CERN have pumped up the jam. The jam, which was pumped using a bicycle pump, remained pumped for almost three thousand milliseconds before the bubble burst and some of the jam landed on Professor Brian Cox's trousers and the other nerds called him Jam Pants.
February 16, 2026 at 5:42 PM
BRING BACK THE BAN ON STRAW HATS AFTER LABOR DAY
GOTTA START SOMEWHERE !
ANYONE WANT TO ADD TO
PROJECT 2028 ?
👇
February 16, 2026 at 5:14 PM
Reposted by John Moynes
February 16, 2026 at 5:10 PM
People complaining to Met Éireann about the weather are idiots. When I'm angry about weather I write to the Road Safety Authority unless it's snowing in which case the ESB feels my wrath.
February 16, 2026 at 4:13 PM
But when is Mancake Tuesday?
It's Pancake Tuesday tomorrow, but if you're planning on marking the occasion, you may notice that the cost of doing so has risen in the last few years.

The CSO says the price of the basic ingredients has risen by 35% in the last five years

www.thejournal.ie/pancake-pric...
Making pancakes tomorrow? They're getting more flipping expensive
The cost of making pancakes has increased by 35% over the past five years.
www.thejournal.ie
February 16, 2026 at 2:24 PM
FACT: Pancake Tuesday was originally a pagan festival that was adopted by Christians during the Covid lockdown.
February 16, 2026 at 12:25 PM
Reposted by John Moynes
For sale: Woodwind instrument - $40 OBOE
February 16, 2026 at 11:49 AM
Controversial choice here. When she was Grand Marshall of the Carlow parade a couple of years ago they had their highest casualty rate in decades.
February 16, 2026 at 11:04 AM
Great to see that Johnny Sexton has been awarded the Roy Keane medal for services to acting.
February 16, 2026 at 10:48 AM
Michael's a young lad, so he doesn't remember how this works. It's not about not getting a divorce, it's about not being allowed to get one. Unless you're rich.
She’s just describing marriage? You can absolutely enter a marriage where you don’t get divorced, just… don’t get divorced?
Maria Steen, she of the Holy Handbag, argues in the Times that we should introduce a form of marriage with "no possibility of divorce." Maybe she is too young to remember that we already tried this. It ended very badly for some - that's why we introduced divorce.
#FeckOffIona
February 15, 2026 at 9:43 PM
This changes EVERYTHING
Harry Styles looks handsome in new photo.
February 15, 2026 at 9:39 PM
Reposted by John Moynes
Can't afford real actors? Can't make AI work for you? Advertisers have only one recorse-
February 15, 2026 at 9:38 PM
Reposted by John Moynes
February 15, 2026 at 8:41 PM
Apparently there's a TV show where a Fianna Fáil county councillor tries to get a job on the Fellowship of the Ring and I think we've made enough TV shows now.
February 15, 2026 at 8:50 PM
Musk's politics are a progression of trying to eliminate people who look like they're having fun because that's his only plan to become a comparitively fun guy.
Btw, what “Scots-Irish” means is Protestant. No Irish Catholics allowed. Certainly no southern or eastern Europeans, much less Jews.
February 15, 2026 at 8:39 PM
This is what my grandmother told me. Here are 800 words before her recipe for toast.
ingredients are the backbone of most dishes
February 15, 2026 at 8:30 PM
Reposted by John Moynes
If the Stardust Victims were “unlawfully killed”, then someone unlawfully killed them.

#JusticeForThe48
February 14, 2026 at 2:45 PM
It's time for Wales to sit the Isle of Man down and have a chat about doing flags properly. I mean, any country would have locus standi, but Wales have the best flag so it should be them.
February 15, 2026 at 7:44 PM
No.
February 15, 2026 at 7:32 PM
I'm really glad that Games Workshop don't do the OG genestealer cult limos in plastic because I will never afford one of these armies.
February 15, 2026 at 7:27 PM
Reposted by John Moynes
EXT: Day. The grave of Noel Edmonds. A figure lies face down in the freshly dug soil, sobbing inconsolably.
CAPTION: GREYFRIARS BLOBBY.
February 15, 2026 at 6:45 PM
Musk can't even spell Scots.
February 15, 2026 at 6:30 PM
It's weird that people are posting this sort of thing because you're only supposed to say it at SWP meetings, but never in public or at PBP events.
Saw a post that was like: actually mass unemployment caused by automation is good because labour = exploitation and anyway we need to break the power of the bourgeois artisan class if we are to achieve the dictatorship of the proletariat
February 15, 2026 at 6:24 PM
These things will not happen.
Donald Trump said members of his so-called Board of Peace have pledged $5 billion (€4.2 billion) towards rebuilding war-ravaged Gaza and will commit thousands of personnel to international stabilisation and police forces for the territory jrnl.ie/6958110
Trump says Board of Peace will unveil $5 billion in Gaza reconstruction pledges
The president did not say which member nations were making the pledges for reconstruction or would contribute personnel to a stabilisation force.
jrnl.ie
February 15, 2026 at 6:21 PM
Standing ovation.
The wonderful thing about Tyggers
Is Tyggers are burning bright
Their tops are made out of rubber
In the forest of the night

What bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy,
Immortal hand or eye
Did frame the most wonderful thing about Tyggers,
Their fearful symmetry!
February 15, 2026 at 6:11 PM