John Moynes
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johnmoynes.bsky.social
John Moynes
@johnmoynes.bsky.social
Poet, comedian, tall
I don't see why people are complaining. This lad could be from any one of hundreds of famous Cork food families with a prison sentence nobody mentions.
February 16, 2026 at 7:40 PM
Motion to portmanteau "portmanteau word" to portmord.
Motion to portmanteau “phone number” to phumber.
February 16, 2026 at 7:22 PM
It's weird that Cadbury still go with "How do you eat yours?" for the creme eggs when everyone just unwraps them and eats them and never has a conversation about eating strategy.
February 16, 2026 at 7:15 PM
Is mheall sí é gan aon agó
What’s the best song lyric in history?
February 16, 2026 at 7:08 PM
A horse walks into a bar. We never find out why. Historians only record the words of the barman. Disgusting.
February 16, 2026 at 6:58 PM
Reposted by John Moynes
the world is a real shit show, so I'm posting a precious little video in hopes it'll cheer someone else up the way it did me when my daughter shared it w me.

youtube.com/shorts/JJyMD...
Partner in the crime 😭 #dog #viral #shorts
YouTube video by DikaCrow
youtube.com
February 16, 2026 at 6:26 PM
Scientists at CERN have pumped up the jam. The jam, which was pumped using a bicycle pump, remained pumped for almost three thousand milliseconds before the bubble burst and some of the jam landed on Professor Brian Cox's trousers and the other nerds called him Jam Pants.
February 16, 2026 at 5:42 PM
BRING BACK THE BAN ON STRAW HATS AFTER LABOR DAY
GOTTA START SOMEWHERE !
ANYONE WANT TO ADD TO
PROJECT 2028 ?
👇
February 16, 2026 at 5:14 PM
Reposted by John Moynes
February 16, 2026 at 5:10 PM
People complaining to Met Éireann about the weather are idiots. When I'm angry about weather I write to the Road Safety Authority unless it's snowing in which case the ESB feels my wrath.
February 16, 2026 at 4:13 PM
But when is Mancake Tuesday?
It's Pancake Tuesday tomorrow, but if you're planning on marking the occasion, you may notice that the cost of doing so has risen in the last few years.

The CSO says the price of the basic ingredients has risen by 35% in the last five years

www.thejournal.ie/pancake-pric...
Making pancakes tomorrow? They're getting more flipping expensive
The cost of making pancakes has increased by 35% over the past five years.
www.thejournal.ie
February 16, 2026 at 2:24 PM
FACT: Pancake Tuesday was originally a pagan festival that was adopted by Christians during the Covid lockdown.
February 16, 2026 at 12:25 PM
Reposted by John Moynes
For sale: Woodwind instrument - $40 OBOE
February 16, 2026 at 11:49 AM
Controversial choice here. When she was Grand Marshall of the Carlow parade a couple of years ago they had their highest casualty rate in decades.
February 16, 2026 at 11:04 AM
Great to see that Johnny Sexton has been awarded the Roy Keane medal for services to acting.
February 16, 2026 at 10:48 AM
Michael's a young lad, so he doesn't remember how this works. It's not about not getting a divorce, it's about not being allowed to get one. Unless you're rich.
She’s just describing marriage? You can absolutely enter a marriage where you don’t get divorced, just… don’t get divorced?
Maria Steen, she of the Holy Handbag, argues in the Times that we should introduce a form of marriage with "no possibility of divorce." Maybe she is too young to remember that we already tried this. It ended very badly for some - that's why we introduced divorce.
#FeckOffIona
February 15, 2026 at 9:43 PM
This changes EVERYTHING
Harry Styles looks handsome in new photo.
February 15, 2026 at 9:39 PM
Reposted by John Moynes
Can't afford real actors? Can't make AI work for you? Advertisers have only one recorse-
February 15, 2026 at 9:38 PM
Reposted by John Moynes
February 15, 2026 at 8:41 PM
Apparently there's a TV show where a Fianna Fáil county councillor tries to get a job on the Fellowship of the Ring and I think we've made enough TV shows now.
February 15, 2026 at 8:50 PM
Musk's politics are a progression of trying to eliminate people who look like they're having fun because that's his only plan to become a comparitively fun guy.
Btw, what “Scots-Irish” means is Protestant. No Irish Catholics allowed. Certainly no southern or eastern Europeans, much less Jews.
February 15, 2026 at 8:39 PM
This is what my grandmother told me. Here are 800 words before her recipe for toast.
ingredients are the backbone of most dishes
February 15, 2026 at 8:30 PM
Reposted by John Moynes
If the Stardust Victims were “unlawfully killed”, then someone unlawfully killed them.

#JusticeForThe48
February 14, 2026 at 2:45 PM
It's time for Wales to sit the Isle of Man down and have a chat about doing flags properly. I mean, any country would have locus standi, but Wales have the best flag so it should be them.
February 15, 2026 at 7:44 PM
No.
February 15, 2026 at 7:32 PM