Emperor Joshua Norton II
@joshuanortonii.bsky.social
Emperor of the Internet. An ongoing proclamation: The internet is for those who strive to be better today than they were yesterday. The rest can log off and fuck off.
Bigotry is a huge no. Cishet wereman.
Bigotry is a huge no. Cishet wereman.
Pinned
And now, a PSA song, which 60s kids from the states will surely get:
There is a habit, says the Turtle Bert
To stop the trolling posts before they can hurt
And then they never give your phone an alert
And here is what you do
You block, the weirdoes
Block, the weirdoes
There is a habit, says the Turtle Bert
To stop the trolling posts before they can hurt
And then they never give your phone an alert
And here is what you do
You block, the weirdoes
Block, the weirdoes
Repeating my PSA for all new Bluesky users.
Remember, blocking really works here
Remember, blocking really works here
Reposted by Emperor Joshua Norton II
every trans person i see post about the OU suspension knows that the suspended target is trans & a grad student, & has an innate awareness that this is about purging trans employees. every cis person i see thinks the target is a rando professor & that this is about giving conservatives good grades
December 1, 2025 at 12:04 AM
every trans person i see post about the OU suspension knows that the suspended target is trans & a grad student, & has an innate awareness that this is about purging trans employees. every cis person i see thinks the target is a rando professor & that this is about giving conservatives good grades
Time spent in Forza Horizon 5 so far: 8 hours.
Races driven: 1
Roads found: 578/578
Signs crushed: 181/250
Average breaking Gs (according to the gane stats): 999 999 999.0
Licence Plate: BLMTRAHR
Races driven: 1
Roads found: 578/578
Signs crushed: 181/250
Average breaking Gs (according to the gane stats): 999 999 999.0
Licence Plate: BLMTRAHR
November 29, 2025 at 6:33 PM
Time spent in Forza Horizon 5 so far: 8 hours.
Races driven: 1
Roads found: 578/578
Signs crushed: 181/250
Average breaking Gs (according to the gane stats): 999 999 999.0
Licence Plate: BLMTRAHR
Races driven: 1
Roads found: 578/578
Signs crushed: 181/250
Average breaking Gs (according to the gane stats): 999 999 999.0
Licence Plate: BLMTRAHR
To all of you weird little dorks that thought you had something by trying to make "USian" a thing:
"'Murrikan" has been -right there- for decades already. You only see it once and you will immediately and forever know who that refers to.
Signed
A Norwegian, and also the Emperor of the Internet.
"'Murrikan" has been -right there- for decades already. You only see it once and you will immediately and forever know who that refers to.
Signed
A Norwegian, and also the Emperor of the Internet.
November 28, 2025 at 12:44 AM
To all of you weird little dorks that thought you had something by trying to make "USian" a thing:
"'Murrikan" has been -right there- for decades already. You only see it once and you will immediately and forever know who that refers to.
Signed
A Norwegian, and also the Emperor of the Internet.
"'Murrikan" has been -right there- for decades already. You only see it once and you will immediately and forever know who that refers to.
Signed
A Norwegian, and also the Emperor of the Internet.
Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia
Means unreasonable fear for long words.
I imagine being able to say it means you've overcome this fear.
Means unreasonable fear for long words.
I imagine being able to say it means you've overcome this fear.
Let’s all go around the table and say one word we’re thankful for.
November 28, 2025 at 12:22 AM
Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia
Means unreasonable fear for long words.
I imagine being able to say it means you've overcome this fear.
Means unreasonable fear for long words.
I imagine being able to say it means you've overcome this fear.
This one, you need to know two things.
1: I am a US immigrant from Norway
2: I work for Costco. The electronic department, to be precise. So I truly talk to our members a lot, and my accent obviously comes through.
Anyway, I about a year ago, I received this 100% perfect feedback:
1: I am a US immigrant from Norway
2: I work for Costco. The electronic department, to be precise. So I truly talk to our members a lot, and my accent obviously comes through.
Anyway, I about a year ago, I received this 100% perfect feedback:
November 27, 2025 at 5:34 PM
This one, you need to know two things.
1: I am a US immigrant from Norway
2: I work for Costco. The electronic department, to be precise. So I truly talk to our members a lot, and my accent obviously comes through.
Anyway, I about a year ago, I received this 100% perfect feedback:
1: I am a US immigrant from Norway
2: I work for Costco. The electronic department, to be precise. So I truly talk to our members a lot, and my accent obviously comes through.
Anyway, I about a year ago, I received this 100% perfect feedback:
Reposted by Emperor Joshua Norton II
November 26, 2025 at 9:57 PM
As a video gamer, I will go off script, and make the following edicts:
Redo Kingdom Hearts 3 from the bottom up, basing the combat on the reaction system from KH2 with improvements, and changing pretty much the entire plot, starting with actually involving Kairi.
And that is just the beginning.
Redo Kingdom Hearts 3 from the bottom up, basing the combat on the reaction system from KH2 with improvements, and changing pretty much the entire plot, starting with actually involving Kairi.
And that is just the beginning.
If you were a despotic president, what movie would you force Hollywood to make? I want to see Quentin's Star Trek movie or maybe Kill Bill Vol 3.
November 25, 2025 at 9:14 PM
As a video gamer, I will go off script, and make the following edicts:
Redo Kingdom Hearts 3 from the bottom up, basing the combat on the reaction system from KH2 with improvements, and changing pretty much the entire plot, starting with actually involving Kairi.
And that is just the beginning.
Redo Kingdom Hearts 3 from the bottom up, basing the combat on the reaction system from KH2 with improvements, and changing pretty much the entire plot, starting with actually involving Kairi.
And that is just the beginning.
Reposted by Emperor Joshua Norton II
If you're new to cooking or don't trust yourself to recognize a bad AI recipe, for the love on god, do not just use random recipes from random profiles. Find trustworthy sites and creators (Serious Eats, NYT Cooking, J. Kenji Lopez-Alt, Alton Brown) and search their archives for what you need.
NEW: AI “recipe slop” is overrunning search and social. Food creators say Google’s AI Overviews and glossy fake food pics are drowning out real, tested recipes — collapsing traffic and setting home cooks up for disaster, especially this Thanksgiving.
Gift link: www.bloomberg.com/news/article...
Gift link: www.bloomberg.com/news/article...
AI Slop Recipes Are Taking Over the Internet -- And Thanksgiving Dinner
Food bloggers see traffic dip as home cooks turn to AI, inspired by impossible pictures
www.bloomberg.com
November 25, 2025 at 5:37 PM
If you're new to cooking or don't trust yourself to recognize a bad AI recipe, for the love on god, do not just use random recipes from random profiles. Find trustworthy sites and creators (Serious Eats, NYT Cooking, J. Kenji Lopez-Alt, Alton Brown) and search their archives for what you need.
To put it in clickbait title:
"We tested the plagiarism/magic 8-ball machine by asking it an advanced question you already know the answer to.
The answer will shock you*!"
*Actually, it's more likely to just plain disappoint you.
"We tested the plagiarism/magic 8-ball machine by asking it an advanced question you already know the answer to.
The answer will shock you*!"
*Actually, it's more likely to just plain disappoint you.
I had never tried Gemini Deep Research before (and heard rave reviews from folks), so yesterday I decided to give it a go, asking a scholarly question I already know the answer to, so I could see how its response stacks up.
It’s had ~18 hours to process my query, and this is as far as it’s gotten.
It’s had ~18 hours to process my query, and this is as far as it’s gotten.
November 25, 2025 at 4:00 PM
To put it in clickbait title:
"We tested the plagiarism/magic 8-ball machine by asking it an advanced question you already know the answer to.
The answer will shock you*!"
*Actually, it's more likely to just plain disappoint you.
"We tested the plagiarism/magic 8-ball machine by asking it an advanced question you already know the answer to.
The answer will shock you*!"
*Actually, it's more likely to just plain disappoint you.
How to design a bullet hell schmup boss in just a few minutes (after spending thousands of hours perfecting your craft):
November 25, 2025 at 3:51 PM
How to design a bullet hell schmup boss in just a few minutes (after spending thousands of hours perfecting your craft):
Reposted by Emperor Joshua Norton II
A big thank you to San Francisco 49ers for breaking up what would otherwise have been a goddamn four-way Sad Win of the Week tie! I swear, I was almost ready to just declare this entire season completely tied up.
Plus, their final SWotW score of +7 is very much Not Sad, so good for them!
Plus, their final SWotW score of +7 is very much Not Sad, so good for them!
November 25, 2025 at 1:06 PM
A big thank you to San Francisco 49ers for breaking up what would otherwise have been a goddamn four-way Sad Win of the Week tie! I swear, I was almost ready to just declare this entire season completely tied up.
Plus, their final SWotW score of +7 is very much Not Sad, so good for them!
Plus, their final SWotW score of +7 is very much Not Sad, so good for them!
Reposted by Emperor Joshua Norton II
The thing I wish people like Carville et al would realize is that you cannot have ‘pure populist economic rage’ if you leave out the ‘woke’ bits. It doesn’t work like that.
It’s weird to me they don’t see this, so let’s see if we can walk it out.
1/
It’s weird to me they don’t see this, so let’s see if we can walk it out.
1/
November 24, 2025 at 9:16 PM
The thing I wish people like Carville et al would realize is that you cannot have ‘pure populist economic rage’ if you leave out the ‘woke’ bits. It doesn’t work like that.
It’s weird to me they don’t see this, so let’s see if we can walk it out.
1/
It’s weird to me they don’t see this, so let’s see if we can walk it out.
1/
No wonder he became a sexual assaulter and trafficker.
That right there is the post of someone who, despite their modest fame, has never had a woman willingly have sex with him -a second time-.
And these days, never a first time either.
That right there is the post of someone who, despite their modest fame, has never had a woman willingly have sex with him -a second time-.
And these days, never a first time either.
These schmucks are approaching what I like to call a "reverse Afghanistan" sexuality here:
November 24, 2025 at 8:13 PM
No wonder he became a sexual assaulter and trafficker.
That right there is the post of someone who, despite their modest fame, has never had a woman willingly have sex with him -a second time-.
And these days, never a first time either.
That right there is the post of someone who, despite their modest fame, has never had a woman willingly have sex with him -a second time-.
And these days, never a first time either.
Dak Prescott realising that if he starts his infamous late-game improvement of his passing game a little bit earlier in the game, it might actually help his team winning:
a cartoon character from spongebob squarepants laughs maniacally with a flower in the background
Alt: a cartoon character from spongebob squarepants:
*Laughs maniacally*
FINALLY!!!
media.tenor.com
November 24, 2025 at 1:54 AM
Dak Prescott realising that if he starts his infamous late-game improvement of his passing game a little bit earlier in the game, it might actually help his team winning:
Reposted by Emperor Joshua Norton II
When Frustration Threatens Desire, by Kerry James Marshall, 1990, 📸 by @drewhallowell
November 23, 2025 at 11:55 PM
When Frustration Threatens Desire, by Kerry James Marshall, 1990, 📸 by @drewhallowell
I feel like it's been a while since the Falcons lost in a really weird way, preferably while having a multiscore lead in the 4th quarter. We're due one of those now, aren't we?
November 23, 2025 at 11:43 PM
I feel like it's been a while since the Falcons lost in a really weird way, preferably while having a multiscore lead in the 4th quarter. We're due one of those now, aren't we?
As a Costco employee, this story is
A) very common, albeit seldom described as perfectly as here, and
B) One reason we don't sell coffins in-store, only online. Not something you want your spouse to have picked up on a whim.
P.S. Yes, you can return the coffins if not happy with them.
A) very common, albeit seldom described as perfectly as here, and
B) One reason we don't sell coffins in-store, only online. Not something you want your spouse to have picked up on a whim.
P.S. Yes, you can return the coffins if not happy with them.
Upon picking me up at the airport:
“We got a new hose that flushes out your butt, Mom”
This is how I found out that while I was gone, my husband got a bidet at Costco. Happy holidays 💦
“We got a new hose that flushes out your butt, Mom”
This is how I found out that while I was gone, my husband got a bidet at Costco. Happy holidays 💦
November 23, 2025 at 8:59 PM
As a Costco employee, this story is
A) very common, albeit seldom described as perfectly as here, and
B) One reason we don't sell coffins in-store, only online. Not something you want your spouse to have picked up on a whim.
P.S. Yes, you can return the coffins if not happy with them.
A) very common, albeit seldom described as perfectly as here, and
B) One reason we don't sell coffins in-store, only online. Not something you want your spouse to have picked up on a whim.
P.S. Yes, you can return the coffins if not happy with them.
Reposted by Emperor Joshua Norton II
Hey yall not what I wanted to do on my birthday but let it be clear
"Death of the artist" is all well & good but you cannot Seperate the art from the artist when the artist is still alive, a terf & every penny they recieve reinforces their beliefs & is used to actively harm Trans folks!
Let it Go!
"Death of the artist" is all well & good but you cannot Seperate the art from the artist when the artist is still alive, a terf & every penny they recieve reinforces their beliefs & is used to actively harm Trans folks!
Let it Go!
'Harry Potter' author J.K. Rowling says 'a ton' of fans are 'still with me' after trans remarks
J.K. Rowling addressed her controversial comments about transgender women on 'The Witch Trials of J.K. Rowling' podcast, saying many 'Harry Potter' fans were 'grateful that I'd said what I said,' and ...
share.google
November 23, 2025 at 2:47 PM
Hey yall not what I wanted to do on my birthday but let it be clear
"Death of the artist" is all well & good but you cannot Seperate the art from the artist when the artist is still alive, a terf & every penny they recieve reinforces their beliefs & is used to actively harm Trans folks!
Let it Go!
"Death of the artist" is all well & good but you cannot Seperate the art from the artist when the artist is still alive, a terf & every penny they recieve reinforces their beliefs & is used to actively harm Trans folks!
Let it Go!
Oh look, it's my brain thinking up worst-case scenarios for my life. Thank you, brain, that's just what I need to keep my stress and anxiety levels up.
This thing I'm mad about isn't real, but imagine if it were. Wouldn't that be terrible
November 23, 2025 at 1:10 AM
Oh look, it's my brain thinking up worst-case scenarios for my life. Thank you, brain, that's just what I need to keep my stress and anxiety levels up.
Soooo... I learned of what is possibly (but ultimately very unlikely) the absolutely saddest piece of the Saudi government trying to whitewash their reputation:
Bemo games.
Bemo games.
November 23, 2025 at 12:11 AM
Soooo... I learned of what is possibly (but ultimately very unlikely) the absolutely saddest piece of the Saudi government trying to whitewash their reputation:
Bemo games.
Bemo games.
Short impressions of games I've played to a bigger or smaller degree:
Trinity Trigger: Starts with exposition dump, mediocre writing, 3D characters in a from-above fixed view, and confusing menus. I lasted about an hour total trying to find something good or exciting about this. Found nothing.
Trinity Trigger: Starts with exposition dump, mediocre writing, 3D characters in a from-above fixed view, and confusing menus. I lasted about an hour total trying to find something good or exciting about this. Found nothing.
November 22, 2025 at 2:35 AM
Short impressions of games I've played to a bigger or smaller degree:
Trinity Trigger: Starts with exposition dump, mediocre writing, 3D characters in a from-above fixed view, and confusing menus. I lasted about an hour total trying to find something good or exciting about this. Found nothing.
Trinity Trigger: Starts with exposition dump, mediocre writing, 3D characters in a from-above fixed view, and confusing menus. I lasted about an hour total trying to find something good or exciting about this. Found nothing.
My favourite sub-genre in team sports:
The most miserable stats imaginable... And then they won anyway.
The most miserable stats imaginable... And then they won anyway.
November 21, 2025 at 11:35 AM
My favourite sub-genre in team sports:
The most miserable stats imaginable... And then they won anyway.
The most miserable stats imaginable... And then they won anyway.
Top 5 video game genres:
Collecting everything
Sailing around in a pirate ship
Destroying the very gods themselves
Some absolutely stunning story-telling that could simply not be told quite like that in any other medium
Fishing minigame
Collecting everything
Sailing around in a pirate ship
Destroying the very gods themselves
Some absolutely stunning story-telling that could simply not be told quite like that in any other medium
Fishing minigame
November 21, 2025 at 2:15 AM
Top 5 video game genres:
Collecting everything
Sailing around in a pirate ship
Destroying the very gods themselves
Some absolutely stunning story-telling that could simply not be told quite like that in any other medium
Fishing minigame
Collecting everything
Sailing around in a pirate ship
Destroying the very gods themselves
Some absolutely stunning story-telling that could simply not be told quite like that in any other medium
Fishing minigame
Reposted by Emperor Joshua Norton II
It’s here!
Check out the 3-part series High Horse: The Black Cowboy streaming on Peacock now!
Check out the 3-part series High Horse: The Black Cowboy streaming on Peacock now!
November 20, 2025 at 1:43 PM
It’s here!
Check out the 3-part series High Horse: The Black Cowboy streaming on Peacock now!
Check out the 3-part series High Horse: The Black Cowboy streaming on Peacock now!
Hey, @macaree.bsky.social , remember when you found out about the great emu war? Good times.
November 20, 2025 at 2:10 PM
Hey, @macaree.bsky.social , remember when you found out about the great emu war? Good times.