geoff
banner
kookaburrasakura.co.nz
geoff
@kookaburrasakura.co.nz
he/him • ne mæg werig mod wyrde wiđstondan / ne se hreo hyge helpe gefremman
TIL about Major General Sir Nils Olav III (Baron of Bouvet Island), a penguin who lives in the Edinburgh Zoo and the Norwegian King's Guard apparently just think he's the fucking business

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nils_Olav
Nils Olav - Wikipedia
en.wikipedia.org
January 31, 2026 at 12:04 AM
electric blanket what an invention save me electric blanket from this horseshit mode of living called winter
January 30, 2026 at 11:07 PM
This isn't the most interesting part of the article but I now understand why RFK Jr. posted an AI video of himself walking alongside a penguin last week
this is a good and thoughtful piece, and read does a good job *explaining* a bunch of hopelessly nihilistic extremely-online behaviors without requiring that you dip your whole brain into online brain poison to understand it.
'Suicide rightism' and the penguin
Is it based or soy to kill yourself?
maxread.substack.com
January 30, 2026 at 9:15 PM
The form of Mega Kabutops was revealed to me in a dream and it was this - the body gets extremely tall and thin, like Alolan Exeggcutor, so the head is way up high. This causes it to gain the flying type.
January 30, 2026 at 11:10 AM
Reposted by geoff
leaving your pets at your parents place.
January 29, 2026 at 9:38 PM
folks... celsius is not good. it is a bad drink.
January 29, 2026 at 8:32 PM
Reposted by geoff
This platypus is totally duckpilled
January 29, 2026 at 3:07 PM
I think it is a fun thing that we do that we sometimes say "duck-billed platypus", as though we are trying to disambiguate it from the other types of platypus, like, idk, the swan-billed platypus or the heron-billed platypus or the terrifying cockatoo-beaked platypus
January 29, 2026 at 2:01 PM
My narrative at this point is that the conservative desire is for the country to be a hunting preserve where you can just go out and shoot anything and go home again and nothing you do in there matters so just make your dick hard as it pleases you.

www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026...
FBI executes search warrant at election office in Fulton county, Georgia
County spokesperson says warrant seeks number of 2020 election records while FBI declines to give further details
www.theguardian.com
January 29, 2026 at 12:14 PM
Reposted by geoff
Did a deep dive into queer French linguistics after attending an inclusive language workshop at my local dyke bar in Paris!!! Here's my distilled guide on current conflicts, language experiments, linguistic history, and more for gay French-learners like meeeeeee 🤓🏳️‍🌈
Inclusive French That I’ve Learned from Feminist & Non-binary Francophones
A French-learner's catch up guide to the current practices & experiments in inclusive language.
open.substack.com
January 26, 2026 at 8:23 PM
Puzzling on the Indo-European vocabulary page's claim that there is a link between Sanskrit yájati ("[one] worships"), Greek hágios ("devoted to the gods") and Latin ieientō ("to breakfast") but this wouldn't be the first time a specialist has claimed something that surprised me, a non-specialist.
January 28, 2026 at 2:25 AM
Reposted by geoff
hol up
January 28, 2026 at 1:05 AM
Alright lads, we can solve the 0D confusor with a slash through the zero, we can solve the 17 confusor with the slash through the seven, how do we solve the 8B confusor
"Oh just use lowercase for B specifically" congratulations on the birth of your 6b confusor
January 27, 2026 at 1:12 PM
It's been like three months and I still think about this comic at least twice a week. All Peargor's comics have an enigmatic aura, but this one in particular has a feral energy that I love.
Slopaloid 4 (1/9)
January 27, 2026 at 2:21 AM
"So what happened with this" rather than drive with the fog light _hanging from the bumper by a single wire_, I cut it off while I figure out if the solution lies with three-dee printing or the marvelous things you can do with adhesives these days.
The pickle van had two little standoff lights on the bumper, but the housing cracked in the cold. I've been looking for replacement parts, and it seems that... they don't exist? There's no reference to them in the owner's manual or anything.

The pickle van was UNIQUELY DESIGNED 💖💖💖
January 27, 2026 at 12:10 AM
Every time I travel for work, J has to deal with some fucking refrigerator crisis, I'm declaring WAR on the Kenmore Elite 795 72053113
January 27, 2026 at 12:06 AM
Reposted by geoff
1461. Penguin Exhibit.
January 26, 2026 at 4:01 PM
The pickle van had two little standoff lights on the bumper, but the housing cracked in the cold. I've been looking for replacement parts, and it seems that... they don't exist? There's no reference to them in the owner's manual or anything.

The pickle van was UNIQUELY DESIGNED 💖💖💖
January 25, 2026 at 5:43 PM
Reposted by geoff
feels like everyone could use a disco bar dog at the moment
January 25, 2026 at 2:10 AM
In a different game, in a different time, Maus also dodged a charm attempt, and immediately countered by, as I recall, a magic grenade that made the person unable to breathe air

The charm effect turned out to be "their gingerbread was Delicious (su)" which, we had no way of knowing
EGO: [kicks in the door]
DM: there's a elf here! she tells you her story, including mentioning a shapeshifter
DYNAMO: [points her gun] you're the shapeshifter
ELF: what! no, totally not. i'm innocent. CHARM ATTEMPT
DYNAMO: nah i like short girls
ELF: what
DYNAMO: [opens fire]
January 25, 2026 at 12:53 AM
Reposted by geoff
EGO: [kicks in the door]
DM: there's a elf here! she tells you her story, including mentioning a shapeshifter
DYNAMO: [points her gun] you're the shapeshifter
ELF: what! no, totally not. i'm innocent. CHARM ATTEMPT
DYNAMO: nah i like short girls
ELF: what
DYNAMO: [opens fire]
January 24, 2026 at 8:19 PM
Priest looked out at us all crammed into the vigil mass before the snow, and said, "so is it Merry Christmas or Happy Easter?"
January 24, 2026 at 11:20 PM
To be clear, this rules, in the same way it would rule to have a DM from Massachussets having us fight rogue earth elementals from "Uhns-tuh-bul" and then we finally see the place written down and it's "Unstable"
Our DM is Italian, and one of the players is too, so we get these neat things where the DM is like, the informant says you should look for a pig called "Romance Language Name", and the yanks are like oooh elegant, and the Italian is like you son of a bitch his name is a region-specific pepperoni
January 24, 2026 at 3:54 PM
Our DM is Italian, and one of the players is too, so we get these neat things where the DM is like, the informant says you should look for a pig called "Romance Language Name", and the yanks are like oooh elegant, and the Italian is like you son of a bitch his name is a region-specific pepperoni
January 24, 2026 at 2:52 PM