Matthew Simmons
@matthewjsimmons.bsky.social
Neutral good hedge wizard. I write about writing and games: https://matthewjsimmons.substack.com
https://troublednecromancer.bandcamp.com/album/rushes
https://troublednecromancer.bandcamp.com/album/rushes
Pinned
Björn Borg: A Mörk Borg Supplement
Yes, I really did this.
open.substack.com
I have a new post on my substack about the benefits of occasionally following through on a silly idea. It’s Björn Borg, a grimdark tennis supplement for the game Mörk Borg. open.substack.com/pub/matthewj...
The worst part, I think, is that now I know how many of them there are out there. If I had died before 2016, I would’ve died believing that, essentially, most people are trying there best, good at heart. I’ve lost the ability to believe that forever. I will, until I die, be suspicious.
February 3, 2026 at 8:14 PM
The worst part, I think, is that now I know how many of them there are out there. If I had died before 2016, I would’ve died believing that, essentially, most people are trying there best, good at heart. I’ve lost the ability to believe that forever. I will, until I die, be suspicious.
Reposted by Matthew Simmons
that great mass of death floats on and on, till lost in infinite perspectives
January 30, 2026 at 5:47 PM
that great mass of death floats on and on, till lost in infinite perspectives
Lock them up.
Trump’s fundraisers are now using the threat of dispatching ICE against citizens as an email engagement tactic.
January 28, 2026 at 4:03 PM
Lock them up.
International House of Percocet
January 28, 2026 at 8:16 AM
International House of Percocet
Reposted by Matthew Simmons
The Right can’t fathom the idea of people believing in anything, in trusting others, in being willing to sacrifice themselves to keep strangers safe.
All they understand is self-service. This is why they can say anything. Why their principles were never real. This is why they’re so afraid.
All they understand is self-service. This is why they can say anything. Why their principles were never real. This is why they’re so afraid.
January 27, 2026 at 10:18 PM
The Right can’t fathom the idea of people believing in anything, in trusting others, in being willing to sacrifice themselves to keep strangers safe.
All they understand is self-service. This is why they can say anything. Why their principles were never real. This is why they’re so afraid.
All they understand is self-service. This is why they can say anything. Why their principles were never real. This is why they’re so afraid.
Going forward, I am a one-issue voter. My issue: Lock them up.
January 27, 2026 at 3:47 PM
Going forward, I am a one-issue voter. My issue: Lock them up.
Reposted by Matthew Simmons
RFK Jr. appointee Kirk Milhoan has just clearly stated, out loud, that he wants to experiment on the people of the United States by seeing what happens as vaccination coverage plummets and infectious diseases spread.
January 22, 2026 at 7:47 PM
RFK Jr. appointee Kirk Milhoan has just clearly stated, out loud, that he wants to experiment on the people of the United States by seeing what happens as vaccination coverage plummets and infectious diseases spread.
I still get sad about Moe Tucker sometimes.
January 22, 2026 at 8:44 PM
I still get sad about Moe Tucker sometimes.
Reposted by Matthew Simmons
Anxiety Experts Recommend Sneaking Off To Do Drugs In Bathroom https://theonion.com/anxiety-experts-recommend-sneaking-off-to-do-drugs-in-bathroom/
January 20, 2026 at 10:00 PM
Anxiety Experts Recommend Sneaking Off To Do Drugs In Bathroom https://theonion.com/anxiety-experts-recommend-sneaking-off-to-do-drugs-in-bathroom/
Games I didn’t play but wanted to: Death Stranding 2: On the Beach, The Alters.
January 18, 2026 at 11:17 PM
Games I didn’t play but wanted to: Death Stranding 2: On the Beach, The Alters.
my favorite genre of 2025 video game was psychotronic psychedelic body horror.
January 18, 2026 at 12:59 AM
my favorite genre of 2025 video game was psychotronic psychedelic body horror.
Reposted by Matthew Simmons
When I heat up a Trader Joe’s lasagna and my kids thank me for making dinner
January 16, 2026 at 2:50 PM
When I heat up a Trader Joe’s lasagna and my kids thank me for making dinner
In the womb, the women come and go/talking about an embryo.
January 14, 2026 at 4:03 AM
In the womb, the women come and go/talking about an embryo.
If not consistently foiled by Captain America, Advanced Idea Mechanics could right now be making huge strides in stem cell research.
January 14, 2026 at 3:59 AM
If not consistently foiled by Captain America, Advanced Idea Mechanics could right now be making huge strides in stem cell research.
Reposted by Matthew Simmons
reseasoning my old nonstick skillet by melting a bunch of van halen records on it
January 12, 2026 at 3:39 AM
reseasoning my old nonstick skillet by melting a bunch of van halen records on it
Slightly diminish a band:
The Butthole Bodyboarders
The Butthole Bodyboarders
Slightly diminish a band:
The Calfsills
The Calfsills
Slightly diminish a band:
Most Things but Not Including the Girl
Most Things but Not Including the Girl
January 11, 2026 at 2:34 AM
Slightly diminish a band:
The Butthole Bodyboarders
The Butthole Bodyboarders
Reposted by Matthew Simmons
Calling yourself a "content creator" or a "creative" is positioning yourself as a service provider within capitalism and actually preclude you from being an artist. Artists are selves in contention with problematic cultural narratives, not in service to them.
We need to stop saying shit like "IP" and "content" when we mean art. Don't let them strip the walls in your own brain, man.
January 5, 2026 at 3:38 PM
Calling yourself a "content creator" or a "creative" is positioning yourself as a service provider within capitalism and actually preclude you from being an artist. Artists are selves in contention with problematic cultural narratives, not in service to them.
If he’s not careful, they are going to consider rescinding his FIFA Peace Prize.
January 3, 2026 at 6:21 PM
If he’s not careful, they are going to consider rescinding his FIFA Peace Prize.
Discovery is kinda cool up close. Pp
December 27, 2025 at 4:41 PM
Discovery is kinda cool up close. Pp
Reposted by Matthew Simmons
If you’re wondering why your friends in academia are a little on edge right now, it’s because an eighteen-year-old who hasn’t done the reading, doesn’t look at the assignment, and has does no critical thinking skills more complex than “because I think it’s in the Bible” can literally end your career
The University of Oklahoma has removed an instructor who was accused by a student of religious discrimination over a failing grade on a psychology paper in which she cited the Bible and argued that promoting a “belief in multiple genders” was “demonic.” https://cnn.it/4b6g3rd
Oklahoma instructor removed from teaching for failing a Bible-based gender essay | CNN
The University of Oklahoma has removed an instructor who was accused by a student of religious discrimination over a failing grade on a psychology paper in which she cited the Bible and argued that promoting a “belief in multiple genders” was “demonic.”
cnn.it
December 24, 2025 at 6:21 PM
If you’re wondering why your friends in academia are a little on edge right now, it’s because an eighteen-year-old who hasn’t done the reading, doesn’t look at the assignment, and has does no critical thinking skills more complex than “because I think it’s in the Bible” can literally end your career
And I feel like a beetle on its back, and there’s no way for me to get up.
December 20, 2025 at 11:34 PM
And I feel like a beetle on its back, and there’s no way for me to get up.
Internet Archive includes a nice collection of Super 8 home movies: archive.org/details/2010...
December 20, 2025 at 6:07 AM
Internet Archive includes a nice collection of Super 8 home movies: archive.org/details/2010...
Uncle Doc’s nurse use a needle with ungodly charm.
December 20, 2025 at 12:01 AM
Uncle Doc’s nurse use a needle with ungodly charm.
Fairly certain that’s just the way folks in the MAGA orbit look all the time. They’ve all had a lot of work done.
December 19, 2025 at 11:05 PM
Fairly certain that’s just the way folks in the MAGA orbit look all the time. They’ve all had a lot of work done.
