MaybeBard
@maybebard.bsky.social
Immaculate Vibes Only. All tweets and ideas are my own. BLM. he/they. Attorney. Huskies & Sounders & spurs.
Nothing I say on this app amounts to legal advice.
Nothing I say on this app amounts to legal advice.
Reposted by MaybeBard
Fuck Ice chants from the crowd on #AEWDynamite
February 5, 2026 at 3:03 AM
Fuck Ice chants from the crowd on #AEWDynamite
Reposted by MaybeBard
Reposted by MaybeBard
Tesla reported paying ZERO federal income tax on $5.7 billion of U.S. income in 2025.
You suckers
You suckers
February 3, 2026 at 11:00 PM
Tesla reported paying ZERO federal income tax on $5.7 billion of U.S. income in 2025.
You suckers
You suckers
Reposted by MaybeBard
The chair of the first law firm that bent the knee to Trump’s extortion and agreed to do pro bono work for him is featured in the Epstein Files, you say? Huh.
Brad Karp to step down as Paul Weiss chair after Epstein revelations ft.trib.al/H1vYT7B
Brad Karp to step down as Paul Weiss chair after Epstein revelations
Files released by US Department of Justice detailed his relationship with the child sex offender
ft.trib.al
February 5, 2026 at 2:04 AM
The chair of the first law firm that bent the knee to Trump’s extortion and agreed to do pro bono work for him is featured in the Epstein Files, you say? Huh.
I know Lange is at least moderately full of horseshit but holy shit why the FUCK are Spurs doubling down on two sporting directors AND having a DoF? What if we did something normal that successful clubs do instead?
February 5, 2026 at 3:49 AM
I know Lange is at least moderately full of horseshit but holy shit why the FUCK are Spurs doubling down on two sporting directors AND having a DoF? What if we did something normal that successful clubs do instead?
Reposted by MaybeBard
Be so fr… it’s basically math
February 5, 2026 at 1:30 AM
Be so fr… it’s basically math
Reposted by MaybeBard
There is an actual argument that this curse actually worked.
February 4, 2026 at 3:34 AM
There is an actual argument that this curse actually worked.
Reposted by MaybeBard
These dipshits love to frame things as a binary choice between letting them do whatever they want, or the total annihilation of the human race.
December 16, 2025 at 3:32 AM
These dipshits love to frame things as a binary choice between letting them do whatever they want, or the total annihilation of the human race.
Reposted by MaybeBard
Abolish ICE is too confusing. What we meant to say is that "no masks should be deployed in an arbitrary and capricious fashion."
February 5, 2026 at 1:59 AM
Abolish ICE is too confusing. What we meant to say is that "no masks should be deployed in an arbitrary and capricious fashion."
Reposted by MaybeBard
No masks should be deployed in an arbitrary and capricious fashion.
February 5, 2026 at 2:03 AM
No masks should be deployed in an arbitrary and capricious fashion.
Reposted by MaybeBard
Whoever said it was “bad faith” to assume democrats would do this every single time owes me, personally, an apology. Whoever you are you dumb geek
February 5, 2026 at 1:50 AM
Whoever said it was “bad faith” to assume democrats would do this every single time owes me, personally, an apology. Whoever you are you dumb geek
Reposted by MaybeBard
Chuck Schumer To Negotiate Rules For Armed Racist Mercenaries In Exchange For Funding Armed Racist Mercenaries
January 30, 2026 at 1:25 AM
Chuck Schumer To Negotiate Rules For Armed Racist Mercenaries In Exchange For Funding Armed Racist Mercenaries
Reposted by MaybeBard
Reposted by MaybeBard
it’s genuinely reassuring to me that this is the most miserable and paranoid person in the entire world
February 5, 2026 at 1:16 AM
it’s genuinely reassuring to me that this is the most miserable and paranoid person in the entire world
Reposted by MaybeBard
I'm going to get so much usage out of this meme.
February 4, 2026 at 11:12 PM
I'm going to get so much usage out of this meme.
Reposted by MaybeBard
STOP talking shit about 2028 Democratic presidential primary candidates:
Walz is PERSONABLE
Shapiro is RHETORICALLY GIFTED
AOC is CHARISMATIC
Pritzker is SUCCESSFUL
Newsom
Buttigieg has EXECUTIVE EXPERIENCE
Walz is PERSONABLE
Shapiro is RHETORICALLY GIFTED
AOC is CHARISMATIC
Pritzker is SUCCESSFUL
Newsom
Buttigieg has EXECUTIVE EXPERIENCE
February 4, 2026 at 11:23 PM
STOP talking shit about 2028 Democratic presidential primary candidates:
Walz is PERSONABLE
Shapiro is RHETORICALLY GIFTED
AOC is CHARISMATIC
Pritzker is SUCCESSFUL
Newsom
Buttigieg has EXECUTIVE EXPERIENCE
Walz is PERSONABLE
Shapiro is RHETORICALLY GIFTED
AOC is CHARISMATIC
Pritzker is SUCCESSFUL
Newsom
Buttigieg has EXECUTIVE EXPERIENCE
Reposted by MaybeBard
Ah, yes. The famously woke Cato Institute.
Heads are going to explode 💥
Cato Institute just nuked the lie. Immigrants have cut U.S. deficits by $14.5 TRILLION since 1994, slashing the national debt by a third.
All that “immigrants are bleeding us dry” noise? Absolute bullshit.
1/3
Cato Institute just nuked the lie. Immigrants have cut U.S. deficits by $14.5 TRILLION since 1994, slashing the national debt by a third.
All that “immigrants are bleeding us dry” noise? Absolute bullshit.
1/3
February 4, 2026 at 9:21 PM
Ah, yes. The famously woke Cato Institute.
Reposted by MaybeBard
Crazy story: A bank analyst published a report showing Kalshi users lose money even faster than sports gamblers, so Kalshi first tried to pressure the data provider to change their data and then accused them and the analyst of conspiring to extort them when that doesn’t work.
February 4, 2026 at 1:44 PM
Crazy story: A bank analyst published a report showing Kalshi users lose money even faster than sports gamblers, so Kalshi first tried to pressure the data provider to change their data and then accused them and the analyst of conspiring to extort them when that doesn’t work.
Reposted by MaybeBard
At the moment, I'm regrettably not having cappuccinos and croissants in a quaint café in Vienna, so no, I'm afraid your email did not "find me well.”
February 4, 2026 at 2:13 PM
At the moment, I'm regrettably not having cappuccinos and croissants in a quaint café in Vienna, so no, I'm afraid your email did not "find me well.”
Reposted by MaybeBard
I'll settle for the Seahawks winning the Super Bowl but what I really want is the Seahawks to win the Super Bowl on a terrible call that still upsets fans of the other team 20 years later
February 4, 2026 at 2:52 PM
I'll settle for the Seahawks winning the Super Bowl but what I really want is the Seahawks to win the Super Bowl on a terrible call that still upsets fans of the other team 20 years later
Reposted by MaybeBard
This isn’t some anonymous tip. This is sworn testimony, under penalty of perjury, from someone who said Trump threatened to kill her if she exposed Epstein’s sexual abuse.
February 3, 2026 at 5:04 PM
This isn’t some anonymous tip. This is sworn testimony, under penalty of perjury, from someone who said Trump threatened to kill her if she exposed Epstein’s sexual abuse.
Reposted by MaybeBard
If you’re in high school and want to organize a righteous walkout:
You need a group too big to easily put in detention, one or more sympathetic reporters, and a solid plan with clear timing. Anyone who tries to stop you will look like an asshole
You need a group too big to easily put in detention, one or more sympathetic reporters, and a solid plan with clear timing. Anyone who tries to stop you will look like an asshole
February 4, 2026 at 6:06 AM
If you’re in high school and want to organize a righteous walkout:
You need a group too big to easily put in detention, one or more sympathetic reporters, and a solid plan with clear timing. Anyone who tries to stop you will look like an asshole
You need a group too big to easily put in detention, one or more sympathetic reporters, and a solid plan with clear timing. Anyone who tries to stop you will look like an asshole
Reposted by MaybeBard
If you work in a high school and your students are walking out for a righteous cause:
Don’t get in their way, you’re going to look like an asshole
Don’t get in their way, you’re going to look like an asshole
February 4, 2026 at 6:06 AM
If you work in a high school and your students are walking out for a righteous cause:
Don’t get in their way, you’re going to look like an asshole
Don’t get in their way, you’re going to look like an asshole
I could do a list hats just Fall out boy:
- Sophomore slump or comeback of the year
- G.I.N.A.S.F.S
- a little less sixteen candles, a little more “touch me”
- Champagne for My Real Friends, Real Pain for My Sham Friends
- our lawyer made us change the name of this song so we wouldn’t get sued
- Sophomore slump or comeback of the year
- G.I.N.A.S.F.S
- a little less sixteen candles, a little more “touch me”
- Champagne for My Real Friends, Real Pain for My Sham Friends
- our lawyer made us change the name of this song so we wouldn’t get sued
Deleted a post about “what’s your least favorite song” because the vibes are bad enough already.
Instead: what’s your favorite song that has a long title, say at least 6 words long?
Mine: “Elderly Woman Behind the Counter in a Small Town” (Pearl Jam)
Instead: what’s your favorite song that has a long title, say at least 6 words long?
Mine: “Elderly Woman Behind the Counter in a Small Town” (Pearl Jam)
February 4, 2026 at 5:01 AM
I could do a list hats just Fall out boy:
- Sophomore slump or comeback of the year
- G.I.N.A.S.F.S
- a little less sixteen candles, a little more “touch me”
- Champagne for My Real Friends, Real Pain for My Sham Friends
- our lawyer made us change the name of this song so we wouldn’t get sued
- Sophomore slump or comeback of the year
- G.I.N.A.S.F.S
- a little less sixteen candles, a little more “touch me”
- Champagne for My Real Friends, Real Pain for My Sham Friends
- our lawyer made us change the name of this song so we wouldn’t get sued
Reposted by MaybeBard
okay but democratic voters want to abolish ICE and prosecute everyone who works for it, so
Democrats want commonsense reform for ICE:
End the roving patrols and racial profiling.
Take accountability and abide by the same rules as local police.
Masks need to come off, body cameras need to stay on—no secret police in the United States of America.
End the roving patrols and racial profiling.
Take accountability and abide by the same rules as local police.
Masks need to come off, body cameras need to stay on—no secret police in the United States of America.
February 4, 2026 at 4:29 AM
okay but democratic voters want to abolish ICE and prosecute everyone who works for it, so