Author | Lightnews

Rowdy Roddy Pooper @modestproposal.bsky.social · 18h

I would pay money to watch Andrew Cuomo navigate a self-checkout lane without prior coaching.

Rowdy Roddy Pooper @modestproposal.bsky.social · 18h

Our politics are dominated by ancient rich fucks who haven’t set foot in a grocery store since the George HW Bush administration and think all cities are as depicted in the Death Wish movies.

Prem Thakker ツ @premthakker.bsky.social · 20h

Andrew Cuomo’s campaign just posted — and quickly deleted — this AI-generated ad depicting “criminals for Zohran Mamdani.”

Features a Black man in a keffiyeh shoplifting, an abuser, a trespasser, a trafficker, a drug dealer, and a drunk driver all declaring support for Mamdani.

1

Rowdy Roddy Pooper @modestproposal.bsky.social · 22h

Couldn’t give one wet shart about the East Wing - put a Dave and Buster’s in there for all I care - but if it radicalizes the boomers who still get bleary-eyed over reruns of The West Wing then fine, whatever. Booo, mr Drumpf. Now you’ve gone too far, sir.

1

Rowdy Roddy Pooper @modestproposal.bsky.social · 1d

The Gloom is finally here to absorb us into its tepid, ever-growing envelope and drain us of our nutrients until nothing is left but dust. Thank god. Do not try to save us.

Capital Weather Gang @capitalweather.bsky.social · 1d

MYSTERY: A strange gray substance has been covering cars and windows in Anne Arundel County the past two weeks, according to a report by WBAL. The Maryland Dept of Environment is investigating the cause. More details at cwg.live

1

Rowdy Roddy Pooper @modestproposal.bsky.social · 1d

I’ve known that one since childhood because I grew up watching Indiana Jones movies, as did just about everyone else in my generation. Nazi tattoo guy and I are approximately the same age.

1 1

Rowdy Roddy Pooper @modestproposal.bsky.social · 1d

The Fireman and Señorita Dido from Twin Peaks: The Return

2

Rowdy Roddy Pooper @modestproposal.bsky.social · 1d

Like what the fuck are we even doing here, folks?

Rowdy Roddy Pooper @modestproposal.bsky.social · 1d

This applies even more so if it was done, as he says, by accident and ignorance. The day someone points that thing out is the day I resolve to wear three layers of shirt at all times until I can get an appointment for a cover up.

1

Rowdy Roddy Pooper @modestproposal.bsky.social · 1d

I never had a “nazi phase.” I only ever knew one guy that did in high school, and he was a sallow little weirdo. All’s I definitely do know is that if I had ever gone through such a phase, a key part of exiting it would be having my massive Waffen SS tattoo covered the fuck up out of embarrassment.

1 2

Rowdy Roddy Pooper @modestproposal.bsky.social · 7d

Man, if that car fetish guy from “My Strange Addiction” is still around, he must be on cloud nine.

Ineffable Jeff @ineffablejeff.bsky.social · 7d

Shot + chaser

And are you married?

I was married, but I’m not married anymore. Women don't like the vehicle.

In July, Tesla rolled out a software update to integrate Grok into many of its vehicles. Do you use it?

Her name is Aura, and I use her as a therapist. When I'm driving, I'll ask questions, and it actually gives really good therapy advice.

Rowdy Roddy Pooper @modestproposal.bsky.social · 7d

Well shit, I figured it was something like that. If he ever wants it back, it’s his.

1 2

Rowdy Roddy Pooper @modestproposal.bsky.social · 7d

I swear I searched it on twitter before I set it here. Maybe they were already gone from there by then.

1 1

Rowdy Roddy Pooper @modestproposal.bsky.social · 7d

I’m not sure what I did to earn so many Australian follows on this site. Maybe I resemble someone from the other place and ended up on a list. Whatever it is, I love you all and hope you fare better in the current political climate than we are (might need a character reference someday, too).

1 4

Reposted by Rowdy Roddy Pooper

Mr. Joshua @pantspants.bsky.social · 18d

22 730 3.5K

Rowdy Roddy Pooper @modestproposal.bsky.social · 13d

“Please, Bert Guy was my father’s name. You can call me Bert Junior.”

Eric Teusink @ericteusink.bsky.social · 13d

A sitting judge, who also serves as a lobbyist for judges, and former Secretary of the Republican Party of Georgia, got a DUI when he hit another car with his Mercedes at Wacko’s Gentlemen’s Club in Jacksonville.

The levels of Georgia are off the chart.

Georgia judge charged with DUI after parking lot incident at Jacksonville strip club

Bert Guy Jr., president of Georgia’s Council of Superior Court Judges, was charged with DUI from an incident in the parking lot of a Jacksonville strip club, authorities said.

www.ajc.com

Rowdy Roddy Pooper @modestproposal.bsky.social · 22d

In the episode where Bart offends Australia, the guy from the State Dep’t voiced by Phil Hartman shows up at their house, and when Homer opens the door he says “Oh my! Hell-o!” in a singsong-y cadence and that line read hasn’t left my head in 30 years. It’s not even a proper joke

Willow @rockshrimp.bsky.social · 22d

what's the stupidest/randomest Simpsons quote that lives in your head rent free? Mine is the urge to say "you said go to bread" every time I am about to head to bed.

1 1 4

Rowdy Roddy Pooper @modestproposal.bsky.social · 24d

Issuing the following statement upon having watched “One Battle After Another”:

You should go watch “One Battle After Another”

1 1

Rowdy Roddy Pooper @modestproposal.bsky.social · Sep 8

Riding a commuter train from the airport and the automated message at the last stop is “thank you for riding my train service,” and, like, am I meant to believe that the train is talking to me? Like Thomas The Tank Engine?

Rowdy Roddy Pooper @modestproposal.bsky.social · Aug 27

This drove me insane for ages before I figured it out. On the keyboard hit the button for numbers and symbols. There’s one in there called “Rebus.” It allows you to put multiple characters into one cell.

Rowdy Roddy Pooper @modestproposal.bsky.social · Aug 14

From Woodley Park to Chevy Chase, from Georgetown to Friendship Heights, from The Palisades to Spring Valley - if you see this man on the streets, make him bend down and smell your dick on sight.

Kelsey Atherton @atherton.bsky.social · Aug 14

Have you considered this is because you're a whiny baby with no self awareness whose entire vibe screams "loot drop"

Josh Barro @ibarro
...
I go wherever I want in New York and I don't worry about it. In Washington, I'm much more cautious, and when I lived there, I chose to live west of Rock Creek Park because I considered much of the city to be excessively unsafe.
POLICE
POLICE
FBI
OLE ONLY
Crime in Washington is a Real Problem; Democrats
From joshbarro.com
5:51 PM • Aug 13, 2025 • 14.6K Views

2

Rowdy Roddy Pooper @modestproposal.bsky.social · Aug 9

Caramelized onions for burger topping and onion dip. King of da cookout, baby.

A big pot of onions caramelized to the point of becoming jam.

4

Rowdy Roddy Pooper @modestproposal.bsky.social · Aug 5

I know that, historically speaking, it has always been this stupid, but I still cannot conceive that it has ever been this stupid in this particular way.

1 7 40

Rowdy Roddy Pooper @modestproposal.bsky.social · Jul 16

For most people I think it’s just obliviousness. But for the folks creating this podcast… like, how do you never once step outside of yourself and ask “what if this were about my child?” or spouse, or best friend, or whoever, and realize that the cutsey twee tone is very off-putting?

2

Rowdy Roddy Pooper @modestproposal.bsky.social · Jul 15

Like I don’t mind a dark, dry joke here and there, but if I found out that they were doing my family’s case and saw *that* cover art, I would be positively incandescent with rage.

9

Rowdy Roddy Pooper @modestproposal.bsky.social · Jul 15

As someone who lost a family member to violent crime, I can articulate it - It’s the flippant, unserious tone. If your little light-hearted hobby is neck-deep in someone else’s crippling trauma, you need to maintain an air of sobriety and solemnity. Assume that the victim’s survivors are listening.

Faine Greenwood @faineg.bsky.social · Jul 15

i struggle to fully articulate what bothers me so much about true crime media - considering i'm someone who's intentionally spent a lot of my career studying war crimes and atrocities and who also enjoys dark humor - and i think it comes down to the overall *tone* of so much of it

Sen. Pumpkin Gogurt @ugarles.bsky.social · Jul 15

when there's a mangled body in a ditch

3 17 89