Pinned
"there is too much slop in my hellhole!" I say, turning up the slop faucet.
"i will not stand for it! i will not!!"
"i will not stand for it! i will not!!"
Reposted by Niko Roman
you know when I see a system of tunnels im gonna play in there ferret style
February 14, 2026 at 11:48 PM
you know when I see a system of tunnels im gonna play in there ferret style
im looking for something REAL
im looking for something RAW
im looking for unedited 1993 episodes of martha stewart living on VHS
im looking for something RAW
im looking for unedited 1993 episodes of martha stewart living on VHS
February 15, 2026 at 12:58 AM
im looking for something REAL
im looking for something RAW
im looking for unedited 1993 episodes of martha stewart living on VHS
im looking for something RAW
im looking for unedited 1993 episodes of martha stewart living on VHS
church bells peal merrily within my vicinity. this is doubtless because of my innocent and guileless nature
February 14, 2026 at 1:01 PM
church bells peal merrily within my vicinity. this is doubtless because of my innocent and guileless nature
Reposted by Niko Roman
Reject modernity. Become Silly.
February 13, 2026 at 11:34 PM
Reject modernity. Become Silly.
Reposted by Niko Roman
folding my apprentice into an A4 envelope (he shall infiltrate the mail system and not get caught in the sorting machine this time, gregory)
February 14, 2026 at 1:40 AM
folding my apprentice into an A4 envelope (he shall infiltrate the mail system and not get caught in the sorting machine this time, gregory)
Reposted by Niko Roman
They are following us around at work with tubes of goo and feeding us each time we complete a task. They won’t tell us what the contents are but basically I’m unmotivated to do anything now without my delicious goo
February 13, 2026 at 10:25 PM
They are following us around at work with tubes of goo and feeding us each time we complete a task. They won’t tell us what the contents are but basically I’m unmotivated to do anything now without my delicious goo
who up wasting they biological
February 13, 2026 at 7:14 PM
who up wasting they biological
Reposted by Niko Roman
I do not want to "allow Zoom to access my microphone." I want to drive the little replica steam train that chugs around the park
October 28, 2024 at 6:11 PM
I do not want to "allow Zoom to access my microphone." I want to drive the little replica steam train that chugs around the park
Reposted by Niko Roman
They ran out of heart shaped cards and now they only have gland shapes
February 13, 2026 at 5:28 PM
They ran out of heart shaped cards and now they only have gland shapes
Reposted by Niko Roman
If you say "my skin is so dry" people might recommend a lotion but if you say "my skin is so wet" no one will help you
February 13, 2026 at 1:14 PM
If you say "my skin is so dry" people might recommend a lotion but if you say "my skin is so wet" no one will help you
In times of great need it is legal to eat the plumber's putty lining your fixtures. No criminal court would indict you.
February 13, 2026 at 12:17 PM
In times of great need it is legal to eat the plumber's putty lining your fixtures. No criminal court would indict you.
My acrobatic feats are nimble and daring thanks to my Advanced Leggings, Green
February 13, 2026 at 2:59 AM
My acrobatic feats are nimble and daring thanks to my Advanced Leggings, Green
Reposted by Niko Roman
Someone told me lately "Bluesky is just like Twitter." I argued that was untrue on the basis that last time I had a Twitter account most times I got a new follower their bio said "single & looking for fun" & here when I get a new follower it tends to say something like "professor of rare moths".
February 12, 2026 at 10:55 AM
Someone told me lately "Bluesky is just like Twitter." I argued that was untrue on the basis that last time I had a Twitter account most times I got a new follower their bio said "single & looking for fun" & here when I get a new follower it tends to say something like "professor of rare moths".
forgot my prisms in the Vexing Cube
February 12, 2026 at 11:12 PM
forgot my prisms in the Vexing Cube
Reposted by Niko Roman
Messed up the salt circle at the bus stop today and a real estate agent walked right up to me 🫨
February 12, 2026 at 12:37 PM
Messed up the salt circle at the bus stop today and a real estate agent walked right up to me 🫨
Listen. My meats are succulent and unctuous. You gotta partake of my meats.
February 12, 2026 at 6:55 PM
Listen. My meats are succulent and unctuous. You gotta partake of my meats.
Reposted by Niko Roman
jeans can be so tricky. but they are so important
February 12, 2026 at 12:01 AM
jeans can be so tricky. but they are so important
Reposted by Niko Roman
HIRING MANAGER: Can you explain this gap on your resume?
ME: I was going through an alchemical process.
HIRING MANAGER: Which one?
ME: I don't think you're allowed to ask me.
OWNER CRACKING HIS KNUCKLES: Was there purification with water?
ME: I was going through an alchemical process.
HIRING MANAGER: Which one?
ME: I don't think you're allowed to ask me.
OWNER CRACKING HIS KNUCKLES: Was there purification with water?
February 12, 2026 at 8:01 AM
HIRING MANAGER: Can you explain this gap on your resume?
ME: I was going through an alchemical process.
HIRING MANAGER: Which one?
ME: I don't think you're allowed to ask me.
OWNER CRACKING HIS KNUCKLES: Was there purification with water?
ME: I was going through an alchemical process.
HIRING MANAGER: Which one?
ME: I don't think you're allowed to ask me.
OWNER CRACKING HIS KNUCKLES: Was there purification with water?
nothing like the fragrant bouquet and smooth mouthfeel of thick-slabbed insulation foam
February 12, 2026 at 12:18 PM
nothing like the fragrant bouquet and smooth mouthfeel of thick-slabbed insulation foam
Rum: Heart of a Party Breakfast
February 12, 2026 at 2:34 AM
Rum: Heart of a Party Breakfast
Invented a foodstuff and got exiled from the village. You'd think they'd appreciate candied pickled ham but I'm the villain here apparently
February 11, 2026 at 5:13 PM
Invented a foodstuff and got exiled from the village. You'd think they'd appreciate candied pickled ham but I'm the villain here apparently
Have lizard enzymes? You're richer than you think!
February 11, 2026 at 12:57 PM
Have lizard enzymes? You're richer than you think!
Reposted by Niko Roman
12 hectares of goblins stand outside the gates and by god they're all hitting the quan
February 10, 2026 at 11:26 PM
12 hectares of goblins stand outside the gates and by god they're all hitting the quan
Reposted by Niko Roman
My dog doesn't love his food so I'm doing a new bit where I try to hype it up like "Let's see what's on the menu today!! Oh! What do we have here! It's pellets!!" He hates it
February 11, 2026 at 12:18 AM
My dog doesn't love his food so I'm doing a new bit where I try to hype it up like "Let's see what's on the menu today!! Oh! What do we have here! It's pellets!!" He hates it