Reposted by Niko Roman
(doing belly time on carpet kicking feet in air, pensively) computer… play me rainforest noises. hmmm. increase ape sounds by 20%. yes… excellent
January 11, 2026 at 6:33 PM
(doing belly time on carpet kicking feet in air, pensively) computer… play me rainforest noises. hmmm. increase ape sounds by 20%. yes… excellent
Radio antennas catch and spool passing broadcasts onto neat little bobbins, which are spun into mittens to keep the wee elves of the community warm.
January 11, 2026 at 9:24 PM
Radio antennas catch and spool passing broadcasts onto neat little bobbins, which are spun into mittens to keep the wee elves of the community warm.
Reposted by Niko Roman
Reposted by Niko Roman
reporter: kristi! mrs noem! is it true that your face is not dishwasher safe??
[the gears in her neck whirr as her head turns to answer]
[the gears in her neck whirr as her head turns to answer]
January 11, 2026 at 8:47 PM
reporter: kristi! mrs noem! is it true that your face is not dishwasher safe??
[the gears in her neck whirr as her head turns to answer]
[the gears in her neck whirr as her head turns to answer]
Dish soap works better at night because, if you'll recall, Grease Droplets are all tucked into their cozy little beds and those things are not rated for water damage.
January 10, 2026 at 8:49 PM
Dish soap works better at night because, if you'll recall, Grease Droplets are all tucked into their cozy little beds and those things are not rated for water damage.
How do I maintain my whimsy? It's easy! I've simply hired dwarves to drain me of my black bile whilst I slumber.
January 10, 2026 at 12:49 PM
How do I maintain my whimsy? It's easy! I've simply hired dwarves to drain me of my black bile whilst I slumber.
its beginning to look a lot like chrysanthemum poisoning
January 10, 2026 at 2:10 AM
its beginning to look a lot like chrysanthemum poisoning
Reposted by Niko Roman
gnomes are god's only mistake
January 9, 2026 at 8:50 PM
gnomes are god's only mistake
Reposted by Niko Roman
they're throwing me into the industrial shredder to extract my biometrics data
December 28, 2025 at 4:01 AM
they're throwing me into the industrial shredder to extract my biometrics data
Reposted by Niko Roman
hackers are breaking into my super important business computer. thankfully they don't want my money, they just want the scary bones i dug up in the woods
December 31, 2025 at 1:55 AM
hackers are breaking into my super important business computer. thankfully they don't want my money, they just want the scary bones i dug up in the woods
Reposted by Niko Roman
saw my own petard talking to a crane operator and then they both turned and looked at me, not great
January 9, 2026 at 5:11 PM
saw my own petard talking to a crane operator and then they both turned and looked at me, not great
Eye of newt and bowl of stew,
chunky carrots hard to chew.
Triple bean for twice the power:
grant me extra toot this hour.
chunky carrots hard to chew.
Triple bean for twice the power:
grant me extra toot this hour.
January 9, 2026 at 10:20 PM
Eye of newt and bowl of stew,
chunky carrots hard to chew.
Triple bean for twice the power:
grant me extra toot this hour.
chunky carrots hard to chew.
Triple bean for twice the power:
grant me extra toot this hour.
i love living on the edge. of an active volcano. it is very warm and the fumes are Not Healthy
January 9, 2026 at 12:46 PM
i love living on the edge. of an active volcano. it is very warm and the fumes are Not Healthy
Reposted by Niko Roman
after the game the referees puncture each football and lay them to dream their violent dreams in coffins lined with black velvet. all except for one, fed to a screaming infant, in hopes that the frenzy will fester and take deep root
January 9, 2026 at 4:49 AM
after the game the referees puncture each football and lay them to dream their violent dreams in coffins lined with black velvet. all except for one, fed to a screaming infant, in hopes that the frenzy will fester and take deep root
Reposted by Niko Roman
I barely think about The Obelisk anymore. Couldn't care less about its strangely oily surface or the gentle hum of its presence
September 22, 2025 at 8:28 PM
I barely think about The Obelisk anymore. Couldn't care less about its strangely oily surface or the gentle hum of its presence
It's like my mamma used to say:
"a stolen roan natters hot goss"
"a stolen roan natters hot goss"
January 8, 2026 at 8:15 PM
It's like my mamma used to say:
"a stolen roan natters hot goss"
"a stolen roan natters hot goss"
Reposted by Niko Roman
caffeine is the electricity of the body. and like electricity, nobody knows where it comes from. not even scientists!
January 8, 2026 at 3:57 PM
caffeine is the electricity of the body. and like electricity, nobody knows where it comes from. not even scientists!
Reposted by Niko Roman
I can’t post anymore unless I’ve spent at least an hour partially submerged in a peat bog
January 8, 2026 at 12:52 PM
I can’t post anymore unless I’ve spent at least an hour partially submerged in a peat bog
Me: ...
White Bread, for some reason:
WELCOME 😈 TO THE INFLAMMATION SUPERHIGHWAY 😎
White Bread, for some reason:
WELCOME 😈 TO THE INFLAMMATION SUPERHIGHWAY 😎
January 8, 2026 at 4:24 PM
Me: ...
White Bread, for some reason:
WELCOME 😈 TO THE INFLAMMATION SUPERHIGHWAY 😎
White Bread, for some reason:
WELCOME 😈 TO THE INFLAMMATION SUPERHIGHWAY 😎
Reposted by Niko Roman
I can't even pour one jar of mayonnaise into my toaster before it stops working. That's called "planned obsolescence"
January 7, 2026 at 8:00 PM
I can't even pour one jar of mayonnaise into my toaster before it stops working. That's called "planned obsolescence"
Carefully observe horse-type beasts for signs of aberrant behaviour.
January 7, 2026 at 6:59 PM
Carefully observe horse-type beasts for signs of aberrant behaviour.
Reposted by Niko Roman
my beautiful smooth brain is sometimes tormented by thoughts of the world
January 6, 2026 at 2:10 AM
my beautiful smooth brain is sometimes tormented by thoughts of the world
crunching my way through high society. these delicate pastries ain't got nothing on my practical chompers
January 7, 2026 at 12:16 PM
crunching my way through high society. these delicate pastries ain't got nothing on my practical chompers
Reposted by Niko Roman
Here's the crux of the gist: we're on the cusp of a brink
January 6, 2026 at 10:22 PM
Here's the crux of the gist: we're on the cusp of a brink
transported mine apprentice to the highest peak and bid him return by dawn - he wailed most ferociously. alas! not one soul is willing to toil this age
January 7, 2026 at 1:34 AM
transported mine apprentice to the highest peak and bid him return by dawn - he wailed most ferociously. alas! not one soul is willing to toil this age