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Horse Woman Go Home

@sloaneliest.com

37 followers 58 following 240 posts

Funniest woman in Seattle, as voted on by 1 out of 10 dentists.

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Horse Woman Go Home @sloaneliest.com · 25d

I finally get it: They're called "Bowling for Soup" because soup comes in a bowl. The mysteries of our dark universe revealed to me.

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Horse Woman Go Home @sloaneliest.com · 1d

You actually don't need a horse to do dressage if you get a hot enough piece of ginger.

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Horse Woman Go Home @sloaneliest.com · 1d

My therapist: You are not your thoughts. Try imagining them as leaves floating on a river.
Me: It's just hard to let go when I'm under so much pressure.
Episodic Science Fiction Character: Foolish gwimpa! A warrior's heart does not yet beat in your q'ulipor. Meet me on the polo field, coward!

Horse Woman Go Home @sloaneliest.com · 1d

Gonna need to see odds before I place a bet.

Reposted by Horse Woman Go Home

little lamb @puddleofbrain.bsky.social · 2d

Ferris’ eponymous wheel

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Horse Woman Go Home @sloaneliest.com · 2d

Stop what you’re doing and walk until you hit a body of water.

Reposted by Horse Woman Go Home

krumm @entzuendung.bsky.social · 2d

"Were you born yesterday?"
Today, actually. Thanks for asking.

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Horse Woman Go Home @sloaneliest.com · 2d

You'll understand in due time. Let the path be revealed to you.

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Horse Woman Go Home @sloaneliest.com · 2d

Called, "Dollar Tree." Doesn't sell trees. Doesn't sell dollars. What a world.

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Horse Woman Go Home @sloaneliest.com · 2d

But necessary.

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Horse Woman Go Home @sloaneliest.com · 2d

Some people—not necessarily me, you understand—would say that a B cup is quite large. They've even been known to say—and these are very smart people we're talking about—that a B cup is way too much. That the women who wear a B or larger look like clowns smuggling balloons. Just something I've heard.

Horse Woman Go Home @sloaneliest.com · 2d

You should try being goated without the sauce, sometime. Your decadent diet will be your undoing.

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Horse Woman Go Home @sloaneliest.com · 3d

I think if I had an attractive, femme girlfriend and she beat my head in with a brick that would be fine. That's nature. That's the food pyramid.

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Horse Woman Go Home @sloaneliest.com · 3d

I feel like people are afraid to talk shop.

Horse Woman Go Home @sloaneliest.com · 3d

Here is just as much enemy territory.

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Horse Woman Go Home @sloaneliest.com · 3d

No.

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Horse Woman Go Home @sloaneliest.com · 3d

I'm thinking about hurting someone.

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Reposted by Horse Woman Go Home

jessica poop @11828appelstall.bsky.social · 3d

its me thog lion u friend from earlier dear

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Horse Woman Go Home @sloaneliest.com · 3d

Truth is a matrix.

Horse Woman Go Home @sloaneliest.com · 3d

The return of Thog Lion.

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Horse Woman Go Home @sloaneliest.com · 3d

Nice party. Pig?

Horse Woman Go Home @sloaneliest.com · 3d

Machiavelli is the one with the ridges, right?

Horse Woman Go Home @sloaneliest.com · 3d

Sorry liberal, there are only two genders: Lesbian and normal.

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Horse Woman Go Home @sloaneliest.com · 3d

They should make Yoshi a real animal so we could kill and eat him.

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Reposted by Horse Woman Go Home

little lamb @puddleofbrain.bsky.social · 3d

Isn’t mastodon like a website that forces you to learn how to use the computer good? That’s like in high school when your math teacher cooks you dinner and he takes the big silver dome off the food and there’s multiplication in there

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Horse Woman Go Home @sloaneliest.com · 4d

The perfidious Californian knows no love, only networking.

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