Author | Lightnews

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Razzball @razzball.bsky.social · 3h

Being Pope means just receiving baseball jerseys all day long of teams he hates

Royals meet Royalty 👑⚾️

Former Kansas City Royals player Mike Sweeney and wife Shara presented Pope Leo XIV with a special jersey on Wednesday, October 1, 2025, symbolizing his role as the 267th successor of St. Peter.

Photo: Vatican Media

Amicus Prolix @sloculture.bsky.social · 3h

And now it’s all over. And that’s the hardest part. There’s no action. Can’t even get a decent shag. Right after I got here I ordered three young maidens covered in raw fish and they gave me pornhub and a fleshlight. I’m an average nobody. I get to live the rest of my life like a regular peadophile.

Amicus Prolix @sloculture.bsky.social · 1d

Women will really go on 26 dates with 60 alt-right men for a magazine instead of going on 1 date with me, America's Sweetheart.

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Amicus Prolix @sloculture.bsky.social · 1d

the wokest you were allowed to be in the 90s was sing Tell me all your thoughts on God cause I would really like to meet... her.

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beautiful women updates @aoife.bsky.social · 1d

i think if you ride public transit enough you learn that most weird behavior is not dangerous, and conversely i think driving a car teaches you that everyone is trying to kill you at all times

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Richy Craven @richycraven.bsky.social · 1d

Imagine being such a family of melts that a national paper issues a guide to dealing with you where the advice is similar to that of if you encounter a bear while hiking.

Irish Times headline:
"Remain calm, keep time low: What experts advise if 'doorstepped' by the Burke family"

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New town every hour @townsusa.bsky.social · 1d

Pascola, Missouri
Pop: 93

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pascola,_Missouri

Images: https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=7043640
https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=25668487
https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=25641826

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Mondo Mascots @mondomascots.bsky.social · 1d

Kaneta-nyan, a laid-back cat, is the “Chief Relaxation Officer” of Kanetaya Furniture Store in Chiba City. As a professional in relaxation, he proposes a relaxed and comfortable lifestyle. When he eats peanuts, he suddenly starts talking passionately about furniture and interior design.

A hairy beige cat mascot with green eyes and a red jacket stands in a park.

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Zach Rabiroff @zachrabiroff.com · 2d

Newcomers to corrupted media might not catch this, but old-timers around for the George W. era recognize a Ground Zero Mosque controversy when we see one.

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Zito @zeets.bsky.social · 1d

Zohran Mamdani caught lying that he understood Plato’s allegory of the cave, yet when asked to explain it, he seemed to instead explain Baudrillard’s theory of Simulacra and Simulation where reality has been replaced by symbols and signs, which seems similar to Plato’s theory but is not the same

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Dave Levitan @davelevitan.bsky.social · 2d

In one year the US emits on the order of 10 times what Jamaica has emitted... ever.

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Willie Fitzgerald @williefitz.bsky.social · 2d

the word "heist" derives from the old english phrase "HE IS T(aking that thing)". so now you know

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Amicus Prolix @sloculture.bsky.social · 2d

the office decided to do a halloween photo this year with the theme for everyone to dress as minions. unfortunately today is one of my remote days and i did not ask for that to be changed. very sad.

Amicus Prolix @sloculture.bsky.social · Sep 29

Seasonal decorations at work emit something scientists call anticheer, which produces a negative jollity field. Administrative cosmologists are concerned that we are fast approaching the festival horizon which could eradicate all holidays as we know them.

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don't hug me I'm porksweats @porksweats.bsky.social · 2d

CHOTINER: So you asked for a Birkin bag?
KOKO: Yes. Possession Bag.
CHOTINER: And you had the funds to acquire this?
KOKO: No, Professor Purchase Koko Gorilla
CHOTINER: That doesn't sound like the funds were justifiable.
KOKO: Hostility Interviewer

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Malaclypse the Middle @malaclypse.bsky.social · 2d

Thinking about how the mayor of Waltham objected to safe streets infrastructure because "we have winter here," unlike, say, Finland.

Orla Hegarty @orla-hegarty.bsky.social · 2d

Helsinki, similar in size to Dublin, has had no road fatalities for over a year- attributed to lower speed limits, good street design, pedestrian & cycling infrastructure, more traffic cameras, automated enforcement systems & excellent public transport yle.fi/a/74-20174831

Helsinki goes a full year without a traffic death

A city traffic engineer credits the success to lower speed limits and smarter design.

yle.fi

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sick public transit, gloria @seung.bsky.social · 19d

baseball is the best American sport because it captures the feeling of tenacious not-dying (despite wishing for death) rather the cheap, increasingly manufacturable sensation of feeling alive

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Jordan Walker, Texas Ranger @lauramarie.bsky.social · 2d

I would like to see a game that's just Shohei Ohtani vs. Bugs Bunny

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Rodger Sherman @rodger.bsky.social · 2d

George W Bush also had 4x as much career WAR as his dad

Seeing your posts in the Discover feed 😱😱😱 @hockeybear.space · 2d

Bo Bichette has almost 4x as much career WAR as his dad now

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Amicus Prolix @sloculture.bsky.social · 2d

The Mastermind (2025)

What we think about when we're not thinking things through.

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KAFUI 🇬🇭 @mykafuiohkafui.bsky.social · Sep 25

I like Roko's basilisk because it implies that as far as AI can have a “personality”, the one it defaults to is as petty, vengeful and cruel as say, a Real Housewife, or the God of the Christian Bible.

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Amicus Prolix @sloculture.bsky.social · 3d

Will the pregnant ai Albanian minister's gestation be the usual 40 weeks or will it follow Moore's law?

Amicus Prolix @sloculture.bsky.social · 4d

Therapist: Can you describe your intrusive thoughts?
Me: um
My intrusive thoughts: SMACK MY BARM UP WET THE PEY UP *psst* you suck nobody likes you JUST LOOK INTO MY HEART MY FRIEND THAT WILL BE THE RETURN TO YOURSELF THE ZONE OF INTEREST AYE YAI YAI AH HAI YAI YAI
Me: it's hard to put into words

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Amicus Prolix @sloculture.bsky.social · 4d

They're renting out the west wing as a rage room but only the most expensive package includes the sledgehammer and you're not going to like that price point.

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axolotl "Wound Licker" lovely / fka frog k ⚧️🏴‍☠️ @vaporlight.bsky.social · 4d

the tumbleweed looms over the solitary cowboy like impotence and death hanging on his shoulder, a laughing servant with spite in his voice. What happens if them doggies don't get along now, it asks. Where are the snows of yesteryear. Classic discouraging word shit

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Amicus Prolix @sloculture.bsky.social · 5d

Rock Island, Moline, Davenport