Stephen Uitti he/him/it/they/hey-you
@suitti.bsky.social
Amateur astronomer - Astronomy for Everyone show since 2009 https://www.youtube.com/c/astronomyforeveryone
Writing a book. Have dogs.
Tell jokes - I used to tell dad jokes. Sometimes he'd laugh.
Something with computers for a living.
I don't really do DMs.
Writing a book. Have dogs.
Tell jokes - I used to tell dad jokes. Sometimes he'd laugh.
Something with computers for a living.
I don't really do DMs.
Pinned
I'm giving up eating chocolate for a month. Sorry, bad punctuation. I'm giving up. Eating chocolate for a month.
#joke
#joke
Can't focus today. Morning orange juice says "Not from concentrate".
November 27, 2025 at 5:00 PM
Can't focus today. Morning orange juice says "Not from concentrate".
Have long advocated talking about politics over Thanksgiving dinner to save money on holiday shopping.
Here are some specific talking points.
substack.com/@borowitzrep...
Here are some specific talking points.
substack.com/@borowitzrep...
Andy Borowitz (@borowitzreport)
Stuck with MAGA relatives around the table today? Gaslight them by pretending you’re a convert to their movement! Just slip these surefire talking points into the conversation:
I’m more grateful for ...
substack.com
November 27, 2025 at 4:33 PM
Have long advocated talking about politics over Thanksgiving dinner to save money on holiday shopping.
Here are some specific talking points.
substack.com/@borowitzrep...
Here are some specific talking points.
substack.com/@borowitzrep...
The Fani Willis case isn't about Fani Willis. It's about Trump. Please stay focused.
Seems like most (esp. "journalists") criticizing Fani Willis for using RICO or getting disqualified are glossing over the facts that she elicited several guilty pleas from defendants and was replaced by a MAGA prosecutor who is the one requesting the dismissal. Are journalists really this ignorant?
November 27, 2025 at 4:26 PM
The Fani Willis case isn't about Fani Willis. It's about Trump. Please stay focused.
Reposted by Stephen Uitti he/him/it/they/hey-you
If you had questions about Trump's "assassination attempts" wait until you see info about the guy who shot the National Guard troops. He was a CIA trained killer who worked in an elite unit in Afghanistan known for killing civilians. Now he travelled from Wash state to DC to shoot random troops 🤔
November 27, 2025 at 4:07 PM
If you had questions about Trump's "assassination attempts" wait until you see info about the guy who shot the National Guard troops. He was a CIA trained killer who worked in an elite unit in Afghanistan known for killing civilians. Now he travelled from Wash state to DC to shoot random troops 🤔
November 27, 2025 at 4:15 PM
Is it a liquid or a gas?
November 27, 2025 at 3:50 PM
Is it a liquid or a gas?
Three guys stranded on a desert island find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says: "I'm lonely. I wish my friends were back here."
#joke
#joke
November 27, 2025 at 3:41 PM
Three guys stranded on a desert island find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says: "I'm lonely. I wish my friends were back here."
#joke
#joke
November 27, 2025 at 3:40 PM
November 27, 2025 at 3:38 PM
This keeps coming up in my feed, so here's the explanation.
November 26, 2025 at 9:19 PM
This keeps coming up in my feed, so here's the explanation.
Today's weather forecast said wind in the 20-30 range, but gusts to 40 or higher. What are the units? Who cares? It could be 1,000 or even a googol (10^100). That's enough that it doesn't matter how big your dog is, even in Planck lengths/fortnight.
November 26, 2025 at 7:47 PM
Today's weather forecast said wind in the 20-30 range, but gusts to 40 or higher. What are the units? Who cares? It could be 1,000 or even a googol (10^100). That's enough that it doesn't matter how big your dog is, even in Planck lengths/fortnight.
Reposted by Stephen Uitti he/him/it/they/hey-you
Prosecutor who replaced Fani Willis declines to pursue Georgia election case against Trump. This is why Bolsonaro is in prison and Trump isn’t. Our justice system is corrupt.
apnews.com/live/trump-n...
apnews.com/live/trump-n...
Live updates: Prosecutor declines to pursue Georgia election case against Trump
The new prosecutor leading the Georgia election interference case against President Donald Trump and others has decided not to pursue the case further.
apnews.com
November 26, 2025 at 4:13 PM
Prosecutor who replaced Fani Willis declines to pursue Georgia election case against Trump. This is why Bolsonaro is in prison and Trump isn’t. Our justice system is corrupt.
apnews.com/live/trump-n...
apnews.com/live/trump-n...
Two nuns walk into a bar. You'd think the second one would have ducked.
November 25, 2025 at 6:01 PM
Two nuns walk into a bar. You'd think the second one would have ducked.
"when I'm trapped in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse, and about to die of asphyxiation in deep space that I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was young," said Arthur.
"Why, what did she tell you?"
"I don't know, I didn't listen."
- Douglas Adams
#joke
"Why, what did she tell you?"
"I don't know, I didn't listen."
- Douglas Adams
#joke
November 25, 2025 at 5:54 PM
"when I'm trapped in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse, and about to die of asphyxiation in deep space that I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was young," said Arthur.
"Why, what did she tell you?"
"I don't know, I didn't listen."
- Douglas Adams
#joke
"Why, what did she tell you?"
"I don't know, I didn't listen."
- Douglas Adams
#joke
PROTOLOL jokes
The best thing about script jokes is that they start with a bang.
#protolol
#joke
Note: in Unix/Linux it's #! (pound bang), so really starts with a pound.
Also: Fred Hoyle named The Big Bang in derision. But the enthalpy of the start of the Universe looks like an explosion.
The best thing about script jokes is that they start with a bang.
#protolol
#joke
Note: in Unix/Linux it's #! (pound bang), so really starts with a pound.
Also: Fred Hoyle named The Big Bang in derision. But the enthalpy of the start of the Universe looks like an explosion.
November 25, 2025 at 5:50 PM
Chuck Norris once got bit by a rattle snake. After three days of pain and agony, the rattle snake died.
#joke
So, Chuck Norris could be venomous, but definitely is poisonous. If you think a snake may be poisonous, don't eat it.
#joke
So, Chuck Norris could be venomous, but definitely is poisonous. If you think a snake may be poisonous, don't eat it.
November 25, 2025 at 5:46 PM
Chuck Norris once got bit by a rattle snake. After three days of pain and agony, the rattle snake died.
#joke
So, Chuck Norris could be venomous, but definitely is poisonous. If you think a snake may be poisonous, don't eat it.
#joke
So, Chuck Norris could be venomous, but definitely is poisonous. If you think a snake may be poisonous, don't eat it.