Here to tell you that the Ulta dupe for the revlon brow ink is incredible if you can’t find the brow ink

I don’t have the “cilantro takes like soap” gene but I do have the “white person from a white family from Germany who eats mostly white potatoes” gene that makes cilantro a very new flavor for me in this salsa

35 min @ 3.1 mph @ 5.0 incline

I got very sweaty and Scully is back from maternity leave - I mean being abducted

“Carly what’s wrong with the tv”

Have you tried waiting 5 seconds to see if it goes back to normal

People talk about iPad kids but my Gen X parents lose their fucking minds if the tv so much as flickers while they’re watching it

The biggest difference in myself after going to the gym regularly is I drink a bitchton more water than I used to

Unironically I consider The Trial of Tim Heidecker to be high art

Abercrombie & Futch

A superhero called The Leif Blower that stops Scandinavian crime by sucking every criminals dick

Obsessed with the star face lip balms

Diane Fucking Keaton, Our Forever Queen

Greek yogurt with granola is my new Saturday lunch (I always eat a big ass breakfast with my mom on Saturdays so I usually only nibble and graze for lunch)

Shit is fucking BOMB I love it so much??? I had no idea Greek yogurt was so good!!

Pretty sure I just saw a 10 year old girl wearing literal underwear instead of pants at Target

Rest In Piss Ian Watkins!!!!! You won’t be forgiven but you will be forgotten!!!!

There should be an Olympic event where they all wear wool socks and run around a carpeted room (or carpeted track??) and whoever generates the most static electricity at the end wins

Please keep me in your prayers I have to drop my darling sewing machine to be serviced

30 min @ 3.1 mph @ 2.5 incline

A day of easy movement is still a day of movement!!

I know I sell my soul every time I redeem a game piece

I am poor so those free cheeseburgers are worth a piece of my soul

But like,,, I also had my expectations tempered? I wasn’t expecting to win this many, I literally have like 5 free burgers which is great

It was never about giving away stuff, the free stuff isn’t even that expensive (to them, obviously I’d commit crimes for even just a 4-figure cash prize)

It’s about getting more business and they could not give less of a shit about who/how those prizes are won because it’s a blip in their budget

People are really bummed about not winning the big McDonald’s prizes as if they stood a chance but more importantly, the total value of ALLLLLLLL the prizes is a fucking drop in the bucket compared to the profits McDonald’s making from the whole thing

So baked I started crying when I remembered I’ve been wearing my glasses all day so I won’t have to remember to take my contacts out before bed and I can be as lazy as I want without endangering my eyesight

We’ve got the one in Hellertown if that’s closer

a friend of mine in antifa told me that antifa's headquarters is SHEIN and if the company fell the whole network would fall

Unironically I know my cardio is getting better because I just unclogged my penjamin with a fulllllll lung inhale