Toby 🇵🇸
@tobestewart.bsky.social
Somethng s mssng from your lfe
bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaajpevonw36e
bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaajpevonw36e
Pinned
Toby 🇵🇸
@tobestewart.bsky.social
· Nov 21
If this app doesn’t work I’m going back to ruining my life locally
Reposted by Toby 🇵🇸
Imagine finding out immigrants aren’t the reason for everything that’s wrong with your life after all and you’re just a piece of shit
November 25, 2025 at 5:36 PM
Imagine finding out immigrants aren’t the reason for everything that’s wrong with your life after all and you’re just a piece of shit
It’s Monday morning and I’m in an awkward stand-off with reality
November 24, 2025 at 7:46 AM
It’s Monday morning and I’m in an awkward stand-off with reality
Critics accusing me of being a hopeless romantic can just sweep me off my feet and kiss me passionately
November 23, 2025 at 6:07 PM
Critics accusing me of being a hopeless romantic can just sweep me off my feet and kiss me passionately
When He said “Let there be light” who was He talking to?
November 23, 2025 at 6:27 AM
When He said “Let there be light” who was He talking to?
When I whispered in her ear, “You’re the only woman I think about”, I should’ve mentioned all the men
November 23, 2025 at 6:23 AM
When I whispered in her ear, “You’re the only woman I think about”, I should’ve mentioned all the men
When I said “Get Well Soon”, I meant, “Suffer A Little Longer”
November 23, 2025 at 6:19 AM
When I said “Get Well Soon”, I meant, “Suffer A Little Longer”
Coincidences are weird! That’s the fourth bar of soap to hit me today
November 22, 2025 at 2:14 PM
Coincidences are weird! That’s the fourth bar of soap to hit me today
“Let me count the ways I love you”, she said, introducing the concept of negative numbers
November 22, 2025 at 2:14 PM
“Let me count the ways I love you”, she said, introducing the concept of negative numbers
“Try to be more socially interactive”, they said
“Engage with the wider community”, they said
“You have the right to remain silent”, they said
“Engage with the wider community”, they said
“You have the right to remain silent”, they said
November 22, 2025 at 9:14 AM
“Try to be more socially interactive”, they said
“Engage with the wider community”, they said
“You have the right to remain silent”, they said
“Engage with the wider community”, they said
“You have the right to remain silent”, they said
This largely ignored social-media post is for everyone who said I’d never amount to anything
November 22, 2025 at 9:12 AM
This largely ignored social-media post is for everyone who said I’d never amount to anything
NOW she's annoyed because I said my next girlfriend will be real
November 21, 2025 at 7:01 AM
NOW she's annoyed because I said my next girlfriend will be real
“Waiter!”
- “Sir?”
“This water?”
- “Sir?”
“My date-I SAID I’LL HANDLE IT-My date says it’s MILLIONS of years old”
- “Sir?”
“This water?”
- “Sir?”
“My date-I SAID I’LL HANDLE IT-My date says it’s MILLIONS of years old”
November 21, 2025 at 6:58 AM
“Waiter!”
- “Sir?”
“This water?”
- “Sir?”
“My date-I SAID I’LL HANDLE IT-My date says it’s MILLIONS of years old”
- “Sir?”
“This water?”
- “Sir?”
“My date-I SAID I’LL HANDLE IT-My date says it’s MILLIONS of years old”
Reposted by Toby 🇵🇸
It’s called Trash Can, not Trash Can’t.
November 20, 2025 at 1:46 PM
It’s called Trash Can, not Trash Can’t.
Shout out to my mutuals for making my posts look so good
November 20, 2025 at 7:03 AM
Shout out to my mutuals for making my posts look so good
[The Rapture]
Me: *watching my dog float away*
Me: *watching my dog float away*
November 18, 2025 at 10:51 PM
[The Rapture]
Me: *watching my dog float away*
Me: *watching my dog float away*
Me: “It's important to stay hydrated”
Coastguard: “Not this important. Grab the rope”
Coastguard: “Not this important. Grab the rope”
November 18, 2025 at 10:32 PM
Me: “It's important to stay hydrated”
Coastguard: “Not this important. Grab the rope”
Coastguard: “Not this important. Grab the rope”
Reposted by Toby 🇵🇸
[panting, 5 minutes into sex] it’s okay, just go on without me
August 10, 2023 at 11:46 PM
[panting, 5 minutes into sex] it’s okay, just go on without me
I’ve been on Bluesky for a thousand days! I want them back
November 18, 2025 at 10:28 PM
I’ve been on Bluesky for a thousand days! I want them back
Reposted by Toby 🇵🇸
No one in this ball pit is taking me seriously.
November 18, 2025 at 7:14 PM
No one in this ball pit is taking me seriously.
Apologies for the deterioration in the quality of my posts recently. I’ve been leading a fulfilling and meaningful life
November 18, 2025 at 5:27 PM
Apologies for the deterioration in the quality of my posts recently. I’ve been leading a fulfilling and meaningful life
After redefining success (with the help of binary) I’m a lot happier about my notifications
November 18, 2025 at 5:17 PM
After redefining success (with the help of binary) I’m a lot happier about my notifications
One of the best things about being British is peacefully electing a new King
November 17, 2025 at 6:17 PM
One of the best things about being British is peacefully electing a new King
I’m thinking about getting a dog. Anything would be better than this honey badger
November 17, 2025 at 5:50 PM
I’m thinking about getting a dog. Anything would be better than this honey badger
Reposted by Toby 🇵🇸
waiter: can I take your order?
me: you haven’t even brought it yet
me: you haven’t even brought it yet
November 17, 2025 at 2:50 PM
waiter: can I take your order?
me: you haven’t even brought it yet
me: you haven’t even brought it yet
Could someone please explain to my landlord that a gimp is NOT a pet?
November 17, 2025 at 6:32 AM
Could someone please explain to my landlord that a gimp is NOT a pet?