@anshelsag.bsky.social I think your steam account has been compromised. Someone is trying to get me to do a cs tournament on a sketch website from your steam.

Difficult questions like "Do I mind my own business and let people live their own lives in peace or do I facilitate little kids getting murdered?" really keep me up at night.

I think we can settle this once and for all.
Die Hard is a movie.

aquarium security noticing my bump: How far along are you?

me: Excuse me?!

octopus under my shirt: *jabs gun in my side a little harder*

me: OW, I MEAN 5 MONTHS!

In the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups: the police, who investigate crime, and the guy driving the killdozer, who crushes everything that gets in the way of the killdozer

Breaking News: Police believe that the suspect in the killing of health insurance executive Brian Thompson has uploaded himself to the Dark Web and become a being of pure information, a “ghost in the machine”

the three genders

The ACLU gets *zero* funding from the government.

A bit disconcerting that the fellow tasked with reducing government funding doesn't know that.

Not me, but someone made an alignment chart for a #developer naming variables and I love it. #programming #memes #webDev

Gonna start a school for politicians to learn how to go on podcasts and I'm going to charge so much money and also the entire thing is going to be rephrasing the sentence, "Now, for this next part, you're going to want to pretend like you're currently a human person."

Had to get a passport-style photo taken at a Walgreens in the US and a weird guy walked past and said "hell yeah white boy you take that picture" and I laughed for a full minute. I can tell I'm still fighting not to laugh in this but it's probably not too obvious right. Do I need to retake this

idk every godzilla movie I'm like, u can't destroy godzilla 🤷🏻‍♂️ he's a metaphor 😌