Andre the Viking
@andre-the-viking.bsky.social
I have joined this app to use it as a platform to apologise for the behaviour of my Viking ancestors towards the good people of Northumbria in 865AD.
Pinned
I built an electric fence around our house. My neighbour’s dead against it.
Pleased to announce that my new book “Where There’s Muck, There’s Brass - An Investigation Into The Use of French Horns in Pornography” will be available in hardback from all reputable booksellers this Monday!
November 14, 2025 at 10:04 PM
Pleased to announce that my new book “Where There’s Muck, There’s Brass - An Investigation Into The Use of French Horns in Pornography” will be available in hardback from all reputable booksellers this Monday!
Reposted by Andre the Viking
Happy Partially Muscled Skeleton Standing By The Perimeter Fence And Screaming For Thirty Seconds Before Vanishing Day today all who celebrate
November 14, 2025 at 5:16 PM
Happy Partially Muscled Skeleton Standing By The Perimeter Fence And Screaming For Thirty Seconds Before Vanishing Day today all who celebrate
Since I joined Bluesky I feel I’ve been lacking in my duty to promote the beauty of my homeland, Norway. It is a truly majestic country and tourists are always welcome.
October 18, 2025 at 8:52 PM
Since I joined Bluesky I feel I’ve been lacking in my duty to promote the beauty of my homeland, Norway. It is a truly majestic country and tourists are always welcome.
Reposted by Andre the Viking
My favourite moment in science is when Italian scientists at CERN used the LHC to collide two buffet trolleys and discovered antipasti.
May 28, 2025 at 9:46 PM
My favourite moment in science is when Italian scientists at CERN used the LHC to collide two buffet trolleys and discovered antipasti.
Throwback to when my mum began the menopause.
October 18, 2025 at 8:31 PM
Throwback to when my mum began the menopause.
Great to hear they are touring again 🎶 That's neat, that's neat, that's neat, that's neat
I really love your tiger feet, I really love your #tigerfeet🎶
I really love your tiger feet, I really love your #tigerfeet🎶
September 29, 2025 at 8:22 PM
Great to hear they are touring again 🎶 That's neat, that's neat, that's neat, that's neat
I really love your tiger feet, I really love your #tigerfeet🎶
I really love your tiger feet, I really love your #tigerfeet🎶
My wife is in Sardinia and I’m fine about it.
September 26, 2025 at 5:41 PM
My wife is in Sardinia and I’m fine about it.
Reposted by Andre the Viking
In these challenging times someone might need one of them:
Childline: 0800 1111
Samaritans: 116 123
Domestic Violence Hotline: 0808 2000 247
Mind: 0300 123 3393
Age UK: 0800 169 6565
Alcoholics Anonymous : 0800 9177 650
Cruse Bereavement Care: 0808 808 1677
MH text support: 85258
Childline: 0800 1111
Samaritans: 116 123
Domestic Violence Hotline: 0808 2000 247
Mind: 0300 123 3393
Age UK: 0800 169 6565
Alcoholics Anonymous : 0800 9177 650
Cruse Bereavement Care: 0808 808 1677
MH text support: 85258
September 16, 2025 at 5:19 PM
In these challenging times someone might need one of them:
Childline: 0800 1111
Samaritans: 116 123
Domestic Violence Hotline: 0808 2000 247
Mind: 0300 123 3393
Age UK: 0800 169 6565
Alcoholics Anonymous : 0800 9177 650
Cruse Bereavement Care: 0808 808 1677
MH text support: 85258
Childline: 0800 1111
Samaritans: 116 123
Domestic Violence Hotline: 0808 2000 247
Mind: 0300 123 3393
Age UK: 0800 169 6565
Alcoholics Anonymous : 0800 9177 650
Cruse Bereavement Care: 0808 808 1677
MH text support: 85258
Asparagus, Croquette potatoes, Bearnaise sauce, steak and a Mars bar. Pretty sure all the food groups are represented.
September 12, 2025 at 10:38 PM
Asparagus, Croquette potatoes, Bearnaise sauce, steak and a Mars bar. Pretty sure all the food groups are represented.
Reposted by Andre the Viking
I hate doing posts like this, but I’m legitimately struggling right now.
I’m genuinely kinda cooked right now.
Just got back from a con that was a massive money pit resulting in a huge loss. AND I’ve got a car issue that’s needs fixing immediately. Annoyingly, I need my car for work 🙃
Let me draw you really cool things for you. DM if interested
Just got back from a con that was a massive money pit resulting in a huge loss. AND I’ve got a car issue that’s needs fixing immediately. Annoyingly, I need my car for work 🙃
Let me draw you really cool things for you. DM if interested
September 10, 2025 at 4:10 PM
I hate doing posts like this, but I’m legitimately struggling right now.
Slightly diminish a book.
The Wolf of Wall’s Sausages
The Wolf of Wall’s Sausages
Slightly diminish a book.
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to Ford Galaxies.
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to Ford Galaxies.
Slightly diminish a book.
The DaVinci QR Code.
The DaVinci QR Code.
September 8, 2025 at 11:46 AM
Slightly diminish a book.
The Wolf of Wall’s Sausages
The Wolf of Wall’s Sausages
Now I lay me down to bed.
Darkness won’t engulf my head.
I can see by infrared.
I just can’t sleep at night.
Darkness won’t engulf my head.
I can see by infrared.
I just can’t sleep at night.
September 7, 2025 at 12:54 AM
Now I lay me down to bed.
Darkness won’t engulf my head.
I can see by infrared.
I just can’t sleep at night.
Darkness won’t engulf my head.
I can see by infrared.
I just can’t sleep at night.
Been bunged up for a few days so just dropped some pharmaceutical grade laxatives. According to the notes I should expect a legendary ablution around 15:00 tomorrow. Don’t worry, I’ll be fine. I just hope the UK Government doesn’t make a big hullabaloo about it.
September 6, 2025 at 10:19 PM
Been bunged up for a few days so just dropped some pharmaceutical grade laxatives. According to the notes I should expect a legendary ablution around 15:00 tomorrow. Don’t worry, I’ll be fine. I just hope the UK Government doesn’t make a big hullabaloo about it.
Reposted by Andre the Viking
Juat faked a moonie on the landing.
September 6, 2025 at 7:40 PM
Juat faked a moonie on the landing.
Quote post with your own very dramatic (or otherwise) black and white selfie #ThisIsSparta #SorryIMeant #ThisIsOslo
September 6, 2025 at 9:53 PM
Quote post with your own very dramatic (or otherwise) black and white selfie #ThisIsSparta #SorryIMeant #ThisIsOslo
Reposted by Andre the Viking
Just a suggestion if you’re looking to name a new cat.
September 3, 2025 at 8:48 AM
Just a suggestion if you’re looking to name a new cat.
Reposted by Andre the Viking
COMPETITION TIME! These are two A3 prints I’m not happy selling for various reasons.
Rather than throw them away you can win one (First place picks)
If you’d like the chance to win a print then please RT and follow and I’ll pick a winner Friday 1pm
My shop www.infinitebacon.com
GOOD LUCK!
Rather than throw them away you can win one (First place picks)
If you’d like the chance to win a print then please RT and follow and I’ll pick a winner Friday 1pm
My shop www.infinitebacon.com
GOOD LUCK!
September 3, 2025 at 10:23 AM
COMPETITION TIME! These are two A3 prints I’m not happy selling for various reasons.
Rather than throw them away you can win one (First place picks)
If you’d like the chance to win a print then please RT and follow and I’ll pick a winner Friday 1pm
My shop www.infinitebacon.com
GOOD LUCK!
Rather than throw them away you can win one (First place picks)
If you’d like the chance to win a print then please RT and follow and I’ll pick a winner Friday 1pm
My shop www.infinitebacon.com
GOOD LUCK!
To all of you doubters who feel I have nothing to bring to BlueSky here is a photo of my cat explaining democracy to my dog.
August 30, 2025 at 10:23 PM
To all of you doubters who feel I have nothing to bring to BlueSky here is a photo of my cat explaining democracy to my dog.
Reposted by Andre the Viking
I'm looking for a new telekinesis class. My old one moved unexpectedly
August 28, 2025 at 8:18 PM
I'm looking for a new telekinesis class. My old one moved unexpectedly
Reposted by Andre the Viking
★★★★☆
Excellent customer service.
Excellent customer service.
August 18, 2025 at 5:32 PM
★★★★☆
Excellent customer service.
Excellent customer service.
I just enjoyed some baked Camembert with a crusty french baguette, grapes and carrots. Washed down with a rather fruity 2025 Fanta tropical.
August 15, 2025 at 7:29 PM
I just enjoyed some baked Camembert with a crusty french baguette, grapes and carrots. Washed down with a rather fruity 2025 Fanta tropical.