Andrea Sparkles
@andreasparkles.bsky.social
Made of stardust. Survival-of-the-fittest gardener™. Expert-level revenge bedtime procrastinator. ERA supporter. Disgruntled Ohio resident. Living in the land of the White Squirrel.
Do better, Pantone. This is Peak 2025.
December 6, 2025 at 9:47 PM
Do better, Pantone. This is Peak 2025.
Oh noes! Are billionaires afraid they’re going to have to give up some of their precious monies? So sad for them.
August 4, 2025 at 4:52 PM
Oh noes! Are billionaires afraid they’re going to have to give up some of their precious monies? So sad for them.
The social contract between me and my alarm clock is broken.
July 31, 2025 at 1:24 PM
The social contract between me and my alarm clock is broken.
Some friendly mom advice disguised as a hot take…jelly shoes hurt our feet back in the 80s when they first came out. They hurt our feet in the late 90s when they made a second appearance. And they will continue to hurt our feet now that they’re back again, no matter how cute they are!
July 7, 2025 at 6:17 AM
Some friendly mom advice disguised as a hot take…jelly shoes hurt our feet back in the 80s when they first came out. They hurt our feet in the late 90s when they made a second appearance. And they will continue to hurt our feet now that they’re back again, no matter how cute they are!
Ok whatevs. 🙄
NEW via Axios:
The Trump DOJ and FBI have concluded that there is no Epstein “client list” and reiterated that he died by suicide.
Link: www.axios.com/2025/07/07/j...
The Trump DOJ and FBI have concluded that there is no Epstein “client list” and reiterated that he died by suicide.
Link: www.axios.com/2025/07/07/j...
July 7, 2025 at 2:06 AM
Ok whatevs. 🙄
Oh to be so witty! 😂😂😂
Billy Binion can pick out the unique flavor profile of different billionaires' boots in a blind taste test.
I know it’s trendy to hate billionaires, but many didn’t get rich by accident.
Jeff Bezos made goods cheaper & quickly accessible. Bill Gates put computers in homes. Sergey Brin gave the world a search engine that works. I could go on.
So yes…they should exist.
Jeff Bezos made goods cheaper & quickly accessible. Bill Gates put computers in homes. Sergey Brin gave the world a search engine that works. I could go on.
So yes…they should exist.
June 30, 2025 at 4:03 AM
Oh to be so witty! 😂😂😂
Thank god this one fizzled out. The last thing I need is to share a name with a hurricane.
Say hi and bye to #Andrea 👋 🌀
The first named storm of the 2025 Atlantic hurricane season is already on its way out. Located in the central Atlantic, Andrea briefly reached winds of 40 mph but is expected to fizzle out in the next few hours.
The first named storm of the 2025 Atlantic hurricane season is already on its way out. Located in the central Atlantic, Andrea briefly reached winds of 40 mph but is expected to fizzle out in the next few hours.
June 25, 2025 at 1:57 AM
Thank god this one fizzled out. The last thing I need is to share a name with a hurricane.
Srsly.
NANCY PELOSI: We must find the next generation of Democratic leadership. Young, charismatic and exciting candidates who can energize the party. People that voters love because they're not 80 years old and sold out to big capital.
CHUCK SCHUMER (behind sniper rifle): Found one
PELOSI: Take the shot
CHUCK SCHUMER (behind sniper rifle): Found one
PELOSI: Take the shot
June 24, 2025 at 2:43 PM
Srsly.
🍩🍩🍩
June 9, 2025 at 1:29 PM
🍩🍩🍩
Quelle surprise.
June 9, 2025 at 1:21 PM
Quelle surprise.
😂😂😂
June 6, 2025 at 1:33 AM
😂😂😂
Do we think this will make him blow a gasket? Is it time to put the bubbly in the fridge?
June 6, 2025 at 1:33 AM
Do we think this will make him blow a gasket? Is it time to put the bubbly in the fridge?
Such a petty motherfucker. And did I mention racist and sexist?
June 3, 2025 at 9:12 PM
Such a petty motherfucker. And did I mention racist and sexist?
This right here. It shouldn’t be a war between ppl making $50k and those making $100k.
June 2, 2025 at 4:53 PM
This right here. It shouldn’t be a war between ppl making $50k and those making $100k.
This is not the Onion. What the helly timeline did we land on?
A bipartisan bill has flown into the Statehouse to make Superman Ohio’s official superhero, after a new movie was filmed in the state last year.
Ohio bill would make Superman the state’s official superhero, but not until 2033
COLUMBUS, Ohio (WCMH) — It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s Superman! A bipartisan bill has flown into the Statehouse to make the character Ohio’s official superhero, afte…
nbc4i.co
May 28, 2025 at 1:02 AM
This is not the Onion. What the helly timeline did we land on?
Women are certainly allowed to do whatever they want when it comes to makeup.
And also I can’t wait for the end of the trend of overlining the lips, especially rounding out the Cupid’s bow, because it just looks like they colored outside of the lines, at least to my neurospicy self.
And also I can’t wait for the end of the trend of overlining the lips, especially rounding out the Cupid’s bow, because it just looks like they colored outside of the lines, at least to my neurospicy self.
May 27, 2025 at 4:17 AM
Women are certainly allowed to do whatever they want when it comes to makeup.
And also I can’t wait for the end of the trend of overlining the lips, especially rounding out the Cupid’s bow, because it just looks like they colored outside of the lines, at least to my neurospicy self.
And also I can’t wait for the end of the trend of overlining the lips, especially rounding out the Cupid’s bow, because it just looks like they colored outside of the lines, at least to my neurospicy self.
Does the DSM-5 have a diagnosis for corporate narcissist?
If not, it needs one.
See also: ppl who post on LinkedIn.
If not, it needs one.
See also: ppl who post on LinkedIn.
May 25, 2025 at 5:12 PM
Does the DSM-5 have a diagnosis for corporate narcissist?
If not, it needs one.
See also: ppl who post on LinkedIn.
If not, it needs one.
See also: ppl who post on LinkedIn.
But are they gluten-free?
May 17, 2025 at 11:27 PM
But are they gluten-free?
💜💜💜
May 16, 2025 at 5:21 AM
💜💜💜
End-stage capitalism meets the Hunger Games. Nothing to see here. 🙄
Kristi Noem has been working with the producer of “Duck Dynasty” to pitch a reality TV show—titled “The American”—where immigrants will compete in a string of challenges across the country “for the honor of fast-tracking their way to U.S. citizenship,” according to a new report.
Noem Plots Reality Show Where Migrants Fight for Citizenship
A Homeland Security official told the Daily Beast that the show is in the early stages of vetting, though approval has not been given—or denied.
www.thedailybeast.com
May 16, 2025 at 5:18 AM
End-stage capitalism meets the Hunger Games. Nothing to see here. 🙄
🎶 It’s a multi-national grift! 🎶
When I finally make it to Belgrade, the last thing I want to see is a fucking Orange Hotel.
When I finally make it to Belgrade, the last thing I want to see is a fucking Orange Hotel.
JUST POSTED:
Trump-Kushner Hotel Project in Serbia Hits a Snag: Alleged Forgery
Serbian authorities say an official admitted to forging a document allowing a protected site in Belgrade to be demolished and replaced with a Trump hotel.
Fate of project is now up in the air.
nyti.ms/3YLwORG
Trump-Kushner Hotel Project in Serbia Hits a Snag: Alleged Forgery
Serbian authorities say an official admitted to forging a document allowing a protected site in Belgrade to be demolished and replaced with a Trump hotel.
Fate of project is now up in the air.
nyti.ms/3YLwORG
Trump-Kushner Hotel Project in Serbia Hits a Snag: Alleged Forgery (Gift Article)
Serbian authorities say an official admitted to forging a document allowing a protected site in Belgrade to be demolished and replaced with a Trump hotel.
nyti.ms
May 15, 2025 at 7:03 PM
🎶 It’s a multi-national grift! 🎶
When I finally make it to Belgrade, the last thing I want to see is a fucking Orange Hotel.
When I finally make it to Belgrade, the last thing I want to see is a fucking Orange Hotel.
Mr Krabs? Is that you?
Some well placed punctuation could really hard fuck this headline.
As a note, court convicted killer crabs in our current timeline didn’t surprise me one bit.
As a note, court convicted killer crabs in our current timeline didn’t surprise me one bit.
*crab-walked
May 15, 2025 at 12:30 PM
Mr Krabs? Is that you?
My God. The ways in which we are embarrassed as citizens of this shithole are endless.
As part of the red-carpet treatment, Saudi officials arranged for a fully operational mobile McDonald’s unit to accompany President Trump during his stay.
According to local reports, the unit was set up near the Saudi Royal Court.
According to local reports, the unit was set up near the Saudi Royal Court.
May 14, 2025 at 4:05 AM
My God. The ways in which we are embarrassed as citizens of this shithole are endless.
So the Pope has a Great Lakes accent.
May 9, 2025 at 2:27 PM
So the Pope has a Great Lakes accent.
😂😂😂
I hope the world's Catholics are ready for square-cut sacramental bread.
May 9, 2025 at 1:59 PM
😂😂😂