Pinned
Astatine
@astatine208.bsky.social
· Oct 20
You've probably read the Discworld aside about The Patrician hating mimes so much he hangs them in a scorpion pit with a sign saying "LEARN THE WORDS".
I have a similar disgust for anime. The sign in my scorpion pit would be "LEARN TO DRAW NOSES".
I have a similar disgust for anime. The sign in my scorpion pit would be "LEARN TO DRAW NOSES".
Gollum sinks into the lava with the One Ring, dissolving it.
Cut to Barad-dûr; the Eye of Sauron looks around, panicking, as the tower below it collapses.
In the deepest possible booming voice, bordering on infrasound:
FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCKKKKKKKK....!
Cut to Barad-dûr; the Eye of Sauron looks around, panicking, as the tower below it collapses.
In the deepest possible booming voice, bordering on infrasound:
FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCKKKKKKKK....!
The Lord of The Rings movies were rated PG-13. By current rules that means that each film could contain one use of the word "Fuck". Which line are you altering to insert the most useful swear word?
"I can't carry it for you, but I can Fucking carry you"
"I can't carry it for you, but I can Fucking carry you"
December 27, 2025 at 11:18 AM
Gollum sinks into the lava with the One Ring, dissolving it.
Cut to Barad-dûr; the Eye of Sauron looks around, panicking, as the tower below it collapses.
In the deepest possible booming voice, bordering on infrasound:
FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCKKKKKKKK....!
Cut to Barad-dûr; the Eye of Sauron looks around, panicking, as the tower below it collapses.
In the deepest possible booming voice, bordering on infrasound:
FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCKKKKKKKK....!
A Lord of the Rings cover band called Wargs (Not Wargs)
A Lord of the Rings cover band called Gary Númenor
A Lord of the Rings Cover Band called Mordorhead
December 20, 2025 at 10:15 PM
A Lord of the Rings cover band called Wargs (Not Wargs)
Reposted by Astatine
I guess it's fitting that it's a reimagined, worse version of someone else's artwork
December 12, 2025 at 4:00 AM
I guess it's fitting that it's a reimagined, worse version of someone else's artwork
Reposted by Astatine
This is actually quite brilliant, up to and including the final sentence 🔥
December 1, 2025 at 11:09 AM
This is actually quite brilliant, up to and including the final sentence 🔥
I have to wonder, why the middle initial? Are there other prominent Iwona Horyns that she needs to distinguish herself from?
Is there an Iwona A. Horyn, Iwona C. Horyn, Iwona U. Horyn or an Iwona W. Horyn?
Is there an Iwona A. Horyn, Iwona C. Horyn, Iwona U. Horyn or an Iwona W. Horyn?
November 27, 2025 at 2:48 PM
I have to wonder, why the middle initial? Are there other prominent Iwona Horyns that she needs to distinguish herself from?
Is there an Iwona A. Horyn, Iwona C. Horyn, Iwona U. Horyn or an Iwona W. Horyn?
Is there an Iwona A. Horyn, Iwona C. Horyn, Iwona U. Horyn or an Iwona W. Horyn?
Littorally Hitler.
U.S. Coast Guard will no longer classify swastikas, nooses as hate symbols
U.S. Coast Guard will no longer classify swastikas, nooses as hate symbols
The military service, which falls under the Department of Homeland Security, has drafted a new policy that classifies such items “potentially divisive.”
wapo.st
November 20, 2025 at 9:30 PM
Littorally Hitler.
Reposted by Astatine
To add to the "X is now as long ago as Y was in Z" litany, the Mid-Century Modern aesthetic of 2025's "The Fantastic Four: First Steps" is as dated as the Art Deco aesthetic of "Flash Gordon" was in 1980.
November 11, 2025 at 1:22 AM
To add to the "X is now as long ago as Y was in Z" litany, the Mid-Century Modern aesthetic of 2025's "The Fantastic Four: First Steps" is as dated as the Art Deco aesthetic of "Flash Gordon" was in 1980.
So I'm at the hippie retreat and I see this room with people vibing to psychedelic EDM while staring at someone having a root canal.
Apparently it's the trance & dental meditation course.
Apparently it's the trance & dental meditation course.
November 7, 2025 at 8:59 PM
So I'm at the hippie retreat and I see this room with people vibing to psychedelic EDM while staring at someone having a root canal.
Apparently it's the trance & dental meditation course.
Apparently it's the trance & dental meditation course.
Reposted by Astatine
If you're a National Trust member, it's that time of year again: Midnight tonight is the deadline. It's a shame people have to keep doing this to keep a toehold on historical truth in this country, but here we are. Voting link: www.nationaltrust.org.uk/who-we-are/a...
![[Scene is the entrance cabin to a NATIONAL TRUST PROPERTY AND GARDENS]
1
NATIONAL TRUST EMPLOYEE [inside cabin]:
Hello there
2
[A young family - two parents two kids - have arrived at the front desk].
DAD:
Hi - do you have an activity trail, for the kids?
3
NT EMPLOYEE:
Of course – you’re just in time for the Autumn Gammon Trail!
4
MUM:
That sounds fun, doesn’t it kids?
5
NT EMPLOYEE [handing an activity sheet and pencils to the kids]:
Every autumn, the Reform Trust gammons flock back to the National Trust for the AGM. Just follow the trail round the grounds, and see how many you can spot!
6
NT EMPLOYEE [hearing something in the gardens]:
Listen - that's their call
[Calls emanating from the landscape]:
tut-tut
woke-woke
7
NT EMPLOYEE [showing the family an apparently empty fenced enclosure with some bushes in]:
They are extremely sensitive and fragile...
But you can bring them out of hiding if you put a little sign down mentioning slavery.
8
KIDS [pointing]:
There they are!
[Some little red faced PEOPLE wearing Barbour jackets and gilets emerge cautiously from the bushes. They are creeping towards a TINY SIGN in the middle of the enclosure].
[Little people noises]:
woke-woke
tut-tut
woke-woke
9
[Close-up of the TINY SIGN - we can read that it says]:
Slavery had a bit to do with building this massive house.
[Noises from the little people again as they inspect the tiny sign]:
tut-tut
woke-woke
10
MUM [pointing]:
What's that one doing there?
NT EMPLOYEE:
Oh, that's so sweet…
11
[We see that one of the people is sat on a rock, with a little laptop open on a tree stump, and they are furiously typing away].
NT EMPLOYEE:
I think he's writing a column for the Daily Telegraph…
12
[We see close up to the little person’s screen, it is a word document reading]:
Are National Trust scones secretly WOKE?
[ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreib7lt736b6rmzinml5s7kxjdaapo2a36xp4d4lssypimx3taqicdm@jpeg)
October 31, 2025 at 9:02 AM
If you're a National Trust member, it's that time of year again: Midnight tonight is the deadline. It's a shame people have to keep doing this to keep a toehold on historical truth in this country, but here we are. Voting link: www.nationaltrust.org.uk/who-we-are/a...
I
Once met a guy
Travelling from
An antique land
He'd
Seen huge stone feet
Statue all beat
Face incomplete
He looked around and saw nought but a pedestal there
It said "Look on my works ye Mighty, and then despair!"
The
Sands stretched away
Much sayonaras
Ozymandias
Once met a guy
Travelling from
An antique land
He'd
Seen huge stone feet
Statue all beat
Face incomplete
He looked around and saw nought but a pedestal there
It said "Look on my works ye Mighty, and then despair!"
The
Sands stretched away
Much sayonaras
Ozymandias
October 31, 2025 at 1:52 AM
I
Once met a guy
Travelling from
An antique land
He'd
Seen huge stone feet
Statue all beat
Face incomplete
He looked around and saw nought but a pedestal there
It said "Look on my works ye Mighty, and then despair!"
The
Sands stretched away
Much sayonaras
Ozymandias
Once met a guy
Travelling from
An antique land
He'd
Seen huge stone feet
Statue all beat
Face incomplete
He looked around and saw nought but a pedestal there
It said "Look on my works ye Mighty, and then despair!"
The
Sands stretched away
Much sayonaras
Ozymandias
(Hard-boiled noir detective, standing on a grounded narrowboat)
"I knew these broads were trouble..."
"I knew these broads were trouble..."
October 13, 2025 at 10:32 AM
(Hard-boiled noir detective, standing on a grounded narrowboat)
"I knew these broads were trouble..."
"I knew these broads were trouble..."
I am firmly of the opinion that Animal of The Muppets was only partially based on Keith Moon, and this was the other major influence.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=hDoK...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=hDoK...
Pink Floyd at Pompeii – MCMLXXII - One of These Days (Official Music Video)
YouTube video by Pink Floyd
www.youtube.com
October 12, 2025 at 2:41 AM
I am firmly of the opinion that Animal of The Muppets was only partially based on Keith Moon, and this was the other major influence.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=hDoK...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=hDoK...
Reposted by Astatine
all discourse aside, there is one machine with consciousness. it's printers. they are alive and conscious and they hate you and they'd take your arm clean off if you let them. never trust a printer.
October 6, 2025 at 7:36 PM
all discourse aside, there is one machine with consciousness. it's printers. they are alive and conscious and they hate you and they'd take your arm clean off if you let them. never trust a printer.
No, there's a problem.
When they grip it, it falls asleep.
When they grip it, it falls asleep.
do vulcans masturbate
October 6, 2025 at 1:38 AM
No, there's a problem.
When they grip it, it falls asleep.
When they grip it, it falls asleep.
Hot take:
Sequels are not worse than the original because they're sequels, quality just regresses toward the mean.
A sequel probably will not be as good *because* its predecessor was very good, and that's difficult to repeat. If unpopular works were given sequels, chances are they'd be better.
Sequels are not worse than the original because they're sequels, quality just regresses toward the mean.
A sequel probably will not be as good *because* its predecessor was very good, and that's difficult to repeat. If unpopular works were given sequels, chances are they'd be better.
October 6, 2025 at 1:20 AM
Hot take:
Sequels are not worse than the original because they're sequels, quality just regresses toward the mean.
A sequel probably will not be as good *because* its predecessor was very good, and that's difficult to repeat. If unpopular works were given sequels, chances are they'd be better.
Sequels are not worse than the original because they're sequels, quality just regresses toward the mean.
A sequel probably will not be as good *because* its predecessor was very good, and that's difficult to repeat. If unpopular works were given sequels, chances are they'd be better.
If you see this, quote post a bridge.
September 25, 2025 at 11:35 PM
If you see this, quote post a bridge.
I don't know if replacing toilet paper with sandpaper is the worst possible practical joke, but it's certainly scraping the bottom.
September 24, 2025 at 2:05 PM
I don't know if replacing toilet paper with sandpaper is the worst possible practical joke, but it's certainly scraping the bottom.
September 24, 2025 at 1:39 AM
Bloody universe is mostly made out of hydrogen these days!
This was all fields once.
This was all fields once.
September 20, 2025 at 8:50 PM
Bloody universe is mostly made out of hydrogen these days!
This was all fields once.
This was all fields once.
Make a band singular:
Owl Funkadelic
Owl Funkadelic
Make a band singular:
Ye
Ye
Make a band singular:
Kool
Kool
September 13, 2025 at 5:47 PM
Make a band singular:
Owl Funkadelic
Owl Funkadelic
Just watched Star Trek: Strange New Worlds S3E2 and it's a pleasantly daft, frothy lore-call-back episode where everyone gets to wear smashing blouses and an old fan theory gets tidied up... then a sudden Twilight Zone reference dangles a tantalising little thread.
Good work guys, good work.
Good work guys, good work.
September 13, 2025 at 1:59 AM
Just watched Star Trek: Strange New Worlds S3E2 and it's a pleasantly daft, frothy lore-call-back episode where everyone gets to wear smashing blouses and an old fan theory gets tidied up... then a sudden Twilight Zone reference dangles a tantalising little thread.
Good work guys, good work.
Good work guys, good work.
Michael Bay's Swimming to Cambodia
John Woo's Downton Abbey: The Grand Finale.
John Carpenter’s Cruel Intentions
September 7, 2025 at 3:03 PM
Michael Bay's Swimming to Cambodia