Matt Swan
@beardoftooting.bsky.social
Signwriter, muralist, singer, guitar player, shallow roller.
Pop culture enthusiast.
Pop culture enthusiast.
Pinned
Matt Swan
@beardoftooting.bsky.social
· Nov 17
Just deactivated my twitter account after 14 years of frequent, daily use.
I’m slightly ashamed I didn’t do it months ago.
This place seems to work well and feels like the Twitter we knew when it was a cool, friendly place.
Hello everyone :-)
I’m slightly ashamed I didn’t do it months ago.
This place seems to work well and feels like the Twitter we knew when it was a cool, friendly place.
Hello everyone :-)
Reposted by Matt Swan
Your boyfriend thinks he's bringing down the system by paying full whack to enter the Tower of London to throw custard.
December 6, 2025 at 12:24 PM
Your boyfriend thinks he's bringing down the system by paying full whack to enter the Tower of London to throw custard.
Reposted by Matt Swan
Pleased to discover that slightly misnaming the national chess championship you won as a school child is a much more serious offence than repeatedly racially abusing your fellow pupils and telling them they should go to the gas chamber
December 3, 2025 at 1:15 PM
Pleased to discover that slightly misnaming the national chess championship you won as a school child is a much more serious offence than repeatedly racially abusing your fellow pupils and telling them they should go to the gas chamber
Looks like he’s been crying.
Junior is melting down tonight about the special election tomorrow in TN, which should be a cakewalk for Republicans. But it isn’t, thanks to his dad’s unpopularity.
December 2, 2025 at 12:06 PM
Looks like he’s been crying.
Reposted by Matt Swan
A great exchange I saw once:
"Whoever made it so December isn't the 10th month should be stabbed."
"Hey, I got some great news for you."
"Whoever made it so December isn't the 10th month should be stabbed."
"Hey, I got some great news for you."
December 1, 2025 at 2:52 PM
A great exchange I saw once:
"Whoever made it so December isn't the 10th month should be stabbed."
"Hey, I got some great news for you."
"Whoever made it so December isn't the 10th month should be stabbed."
"Hey, I got some great news for you."
Reposted by Matt Swan
Talking to an LLM is like talking to an actor: it’s trained to give realistic-looking responses. You ask a question thinking you’re talking to Dr House but it’s really Hugh Laurie doing improv, and he’s not going to respond with “I don’t know, I’m not a doctor” because that would be terrible improv.
November 28, 2025 at 10:21 AM
Talking to an LLM is like talking to an actor: it’s trained to give realistic-looking responses. You ask a question thinking you’re talking to Dr House but it’s really Hugh Laurie doing improv, and he’s not going to respond with “I don’t know, I’m not a doctor” because that would be terrible improv.
Reposted by Matt Swan
i know WHY this is but that just makes it even more of a kick in the pants lmao
November 28, 2025 at 3:28 AM
i know WHY this is but that just makes it even more of a kick in the pants lmao
Reposted by Matt Swan
The owner of Facebook and Instagram has revealed in internal documents (exposed by Reuters) that around 10 per cent of its annual revenue comes from advertising placed by fraudsters.
November 27, 2025 at 10:10 PM
The owner of Facebook and Instagram has revealed in internal documents (exposed by Reuters) that around 10 per cent of its annual revenue comes from advertising placed by fraudsters.
Reposted by Matt Swan
Holy shit. So Elon decides it would be nice to know what region of the world people are posting from. So they add that little feature.
2 hours later they figure out that many Trump supporters with millions of followers are posting from other countries. Surprise!
That "feature" is now gone.
2 hours later they figure out that many Trump supporters with millions of followers are posting from other countries. Surprise!
That "feature" is now gone.
November 23, 2025 at 3:29 PM
Holy shit. So Elon decides it would be nice to know what region of the world people are posting from. So they add that little feature.
2 hours later they figure out that many Trump supporters with millions of followers are posting from other countries. Surprise!
That "feature" is now gone.
2 hours later they figure out that many Trump supporters with millions of followers are posting from other countries. Surprise!
That "feature" is now gone.
Reposted by Matt Swan
The most hilarious thing about the far right is how afraid they are of imaginary things. They're all "Grr I'm an alpha male but London is so scary tho" "1000 hobbits will descend on your village" Or some nonsense.
November 17, 2025 at 3:55 PM
The most hilarious thing about the far right is how afraid they are of imaginary things. They're all "Grr I'm an alpha male but London is so scary tho" "1000 hobbits will descend on your village" Or some nonsense.
Reposted by Matt Swan
BASH: We have seen these attacks from the president at other people. It's not new. And I haven't heard you speak out about it until it was directed at you.
MARJORIE TAYLOR GREENE: I think that's fair criticism. And I would like to say, humbly, I'm sorry for taking part in the toxic politics.
MARJORIE TAYLOR GREENE: I think that's fair criticism. And I would like to say, humbly, I'm sorry for taking part in the toxic politics.
November 16, 2025 at 2:31 PM
BASH: We have seen these attacks from the president at other people. It's not new. And I haven't heard you speak out about it until it was directed at you.
MARJORIE TAYLOR GREENE: I think that's fair criticism. And I would like to say, humbly, I'm sorry for taking part in the toxic politics.
MARJORIE TAYLOR GREENE: I think that's fair criticism. And I would like to say, humbly, I'm sorry for taking part in the toxic politics.
100%
Challenge 25 killed Britain. If you went out drinking underage, you learned how to respect a hierarchy, whether you wanted to or not.
November 8, 2025 at 4:55 PM
100%
Reposted by Matt Swan
Remember the time Obama personally caught a fainting woman during his speech — rather than just blankly staring like a sociopath?
Character isn't something you tell people about.
It's something you live.
Character isn't something you tell people about.
It's something you live.
November 7, 2025 at 12:25 AM
Remember the time Obama personally caught a fainting woman during his speech — rather than just blankly staring like a sociopath?
Character isn't something you tell people about.
It's something you live.
Character isn't something you tell people about.
It's something you live.
Reposted by Matt Swan
RFK Jr's response to someone collapsing nearby him was to haul ass out of the room as quickly as possible
November 6, 2025 at 5:45 PM
RFK Jr's response to someone collapsing nearby him was to haul ass out of the room as quickly as possible
Reposted by Matt Swan
Jon Bon Jovi is the Temu Bruce Springsteen
November 3, 2025 at 9:55 AM
Jon Bon Jovi is the Temu Bruce Springsteen
I doubt this will even be ‘news’. Everyone on @lbc.co.uk just arguing the toss over £500 all day.
In Brexit Britain, this is simultaneously very good & very bad news. Fact fans know it is mostly bad but hope (probably naively) that it might stem the flow of nativist bile dominating discourse. What a time to be alive.
Net migration to the UK is falling rapidly. But how far will it fall? A new, detailed estimate by @jamesbowes01.bsky.social projects net migration in 2026 will be 70K to 170K.
This will have significant consequences, both economic and political.
ukandeu.ac.uk/the-coming-c...
This will have significant consequences, both economic and political.
ukandeu.ac.uk/the-coming-c...
October 29, 2025 at 6:04 PM
I doubt this will even be ‘news’. Everyone on @lbc.co.uk just arguing the toss over £500 all day.
Reposted by Matt Swan
Shoutout to whoever was like the news sucks, let’s spice it up by doing a jewel heist at the Louvre
October 19, 2025 at 9:49 PM
Shoutout to whoever was like the news sucks, let’s spice it up by doing a jewel heist at the Louvre
Reposted by Matt Swan
The best song ever recorded is Everybody Wants To Rule The World by Tears For Fears.
The second best is It's Only Natural by Crowded House.
The second best is It's Only Natural by Crowded House.
October 12, 2025 at 9:55 PM
The best song ever recorded is Everybody Wants To Rule The World by Tears For Fears.
The second best is It's Only Natural by Crowded House.
The second best is It's Only Natural by Crowded House.
Reposted by Matt Swan
Reposted by Matt Swan
Thanos is so lonely I found the Infinity Gauntlet and it was all stiff and crusty.
September 28, 2025 at 2:34 PM
Thanos is so lonely I found the Infinity Gauntlet and it was all stiff and crusty.
Reposted by Matt Swan
No, your kid isn't addicted to their iPad/Xbox/PlayStation. You're a parent and you're fully in control of how long they spend on these devices. It's you who's addicted to how easily it pacifies them.
September 27, 2025 at 6:55 PM
No, your kid isn't addicted to their iPad/Xbox/PlayStation. You're a parent and you're fully in control of how long they spend on these devices. It's you who's addicted to how easily it pacifies them.
Reposted by Matt Swan
yeah, I think in rich countries, “the politicians are all corrupt and I don’t trust institutions” is a luxury belief, and a lot of journalists have erred in seeing it as a sign of despair rather than the opposite
September 19, 2025 at 8:32 PM
yeah, I think in rich countries, “the politicians are all corrupt and I don’t trust institutions” is a luxury belief, and a lot of journalists have erred in seeing it as a sign of despair rather than the opposite
Reposted by Matt Swan
Andy Burnham gave a good speech at a gala dinner this week, I hear. “I love this job,” said the mayor of Greater Manchester. “I am very happy where I am. I have no ambition to be [pause] ambassador to the US”
September 17, 2025 at 6:01 PM
Andy Burnham gave a good speech at a gala dinner this week, I hear. “I love this job,” said the mayor of Greater Manchester. “I am very happy where I am. I have no ambition to be [pause] ambassador to the US”
There is no bottom. A new low.
Trump minimizes domestic abuse during a talk at the Museum of the Bible: "Things that take place in the home, they call crime ... If a man has a little fight with the wife, they say this was a crime, see?"
September 8, 2025 at 8:27 PM
There is no bottom. A new low.
Reposted by Matt Swan
nothing will humble an artist quicker than having to draw a spoon
August 27, 2025 at 9:09 PM
nothing will humble an artist quicker than having to draw a spoon