ceker.bsky.social
@ceker.bsky.social
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Goodnight
December 3, 2025 at 5:54 AM
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Americans have short memories—keep reminding them. PLEASE SHARE!
September 12, 2025 at 11:45 AM
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Dem Party: We are spending $20M to figure out how to talk to male voters.

Mamdani: Save your money. I have +45 favorability with male voters & +73 with men under 45. Endorse me.

Dem Party: No way dude. Now—why is our favorability is -54? Let's spend $20M on wealthy consultants to figure it out!
July 19, 2025 at 2:33 AM
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If you had told me the bitchiest moment of Pride Month would be this...
June 5, 2025 at 8:58 PM
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If you’re overstimulated, please report to the Bluesky cooldown tent where we have orange slices and someone who doesn’t understand the concept of jokes waiting for you
June 5, 2025 at 8:06 PM
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May 21, 2025 at 4:30 PM
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Trump and his ilks desperation to be seen as victims is so beta and exhausting
May 17, 2025 at 1:26 PM
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Shout out to all the finance bros who didn’t give a shit about democracy, human rights, racism, homophobia, misogyny, the future of the planet or basic human decency and voted for the conman they thought was gonna be good for the economy. You guys are geniuses.
April 17, 2025 at 11:45 PM
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Line of succession:

✅ Fuhrer
✅ Hillbilly
✅ Leprechaun

What could go wrong?
April 16, 2025 at 4:33 PM
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April 15, 2025 at 5:01 PM
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Ahhhhh coal, the future of nothing
April 8, 2025 at 8:45 PM
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At this point, you can’t convince me they aren’t manipulating the market.

As soon as the indexes started peaking today, the White House started talking about tariffs on China, and everything is in the red again.
April 8, 2025 at 7:36 PM
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Last time he told you not "not to worry" half a million Americans died of Covid.
April 7, 2025 at 1:42 PM
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Financial Advisor Recommends Keeping One Bullet In Chamber Just In Case
theonion.com/financi...
Financial Advisor Recommends Keeping One Bullet In Chamber Just In Case
NEW YORK—Noting the volatility of various retirement products and the long-term uncertainty of global markets, financial advisor Michael Reynolds recommended Tuesday that investors always keep one bullet in the chamber, just in case. “Even if you’re a more conservative investor who keeps most of your savings in bonds and money market accounts, it just makes a lot of sense to have a round locked and loaded at all times in the event of a major financial market disruption,” said Reynolds, who stressed the importance of maxing out yearly IRA contributions and regularly cleaning and oiling the barrel. “It’s probably the furthest thing from your mind right now, but the time will come when you’ll want quick access to it. When the kids are off in college and you’re nearing retirement age, and all of a sudden there’s an emergency, you’re really going to thank yourself for making sure you had that one bullet set aside and ready to go.” Reynolds added that while at the minimum, investors will want to have a single bullet in the chamber for themselves, ideally, individuals should make sure they have enough so the whole family is taken care of.
theonion.com
April 7, 2025 at 1:29 PM
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A tricky thing about modern society is that no one has any idea when they don’t die.

Like, the number of lives saved by controlling air pollution in America is probably over 200,000 per year, but the number of people who think their life was saved by controlling air pollution is zero.
April 7, 2025 at 4:13 AM
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Judging solely by the size of the line for the bathroom, they have underestimated the size of the resistance.
April 5, 2025 at 6:41 PM
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you, a rube: “i want my kid to grow up to be a doctor or an engineer or a teacher”

lutnick, a genius: “to make america great again your child will make iphones that they will not be able to afford”
Lutnick: "The army of millions and millions of human beings screwing in little screws to make iPhones -- that kind of thing is going to come to America."
April 6, 2025 at 3:01 PM
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When politicians hurt their constituents they’re not conducting the People’s business but attending to their own. They must be removed from power,
we need governance not tyranny.
April 6, 2025 at 5:17 AM
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To the world:
We are fighting back. Our movement has been silenced by the media here—but we are not backing down. This is what our streets looked like across multiple cities. Tomorrow, there will be more of us! Raise a glass to freedom.

—With love,
Your American allies.
April 5, 2025 at 10:03 PM
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Excited for all the new American banana and coffee factories.
April 5, 2025 at 2:45 AM
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The entire permanent staff of the Division of Environmental Health Science and Practice was laid off. This division addresses issues such as asthma and air pollution, climate change and health, childhood lead poisoning, and cancer clusters.
April 4, 2025 at 6:28 PM
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Something is fundamentally wrong with America when millions of dollars can’t buy you a Wisconsin Supreme Court seat, the respect of your children, the silence of your baby mammas, or a functional penis implant.
April 2, 2025 at 1:50 AM
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Pete Hegseth Calls For Steep Cuts To Number Of Steps In AA Recovery
Pete Hegseth Calls For Steep Cuts To Number Of Steps In AA Recovery
WASHINGTON—Lambasting the current program as wasteful, bloated, and entirely unnecessary, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth called for steep cuts Monday to the number of steps in the Alcoholics Anonymous...
theonion.com
March 31, 2025 at 4:00 PM
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Wisconsin residents are receiving text messages from a (202) D.C. area code, falsely urging them not to vote in the upcoming election. These messages are not legitimate.
March 26, 2025 at 3:49 PM
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CLARKSVILLE: @RepMarkGreen can’t show up for a free & open town hall but he can charge $500-$3500 to have coffee with him at a country club Friday? He knows a majority of his constituents can’t afford that. Who does he represent? 🤔
March 24, 2025 at 12:50 AM