Chaos Goblin Line Cook (johnny wood)
@chaosgoblinlc.bsky.social
Eternally searching for a former clarity
Home cook, songwriter, Christian, leftist, thing enjoyer
Home cook, songwriter, Christian, leftist, thing enjoyer
Reposted by Chaos Goblin Line Cook (johnny wood)
Reposted by Chaos Goblin Line Cook (johnny wood)
Reposted by Chaos Goblin Line Cook (johnny wood)
Expect to see a lot of this classic Onion headline, from 23 years ago, over the coming weeks.
January 3, 2026 at 5:40 PM
Expect to see a lot of this classic Onion headline, from 23 years ago, over the coming weeks.
Reposted by Chaos Goblin Line Cook (johnny wood)
Mamdani: For too long, those fluent in the good grammar of civility have deployed decorum to mask agendas of cruelty
January 1, 2026 at 8:00 PM
Mamdani: For too long, those fluent in the good grammar of civility have deployed decorum to mask agendas of cruelty
Reposted by Chaos Goblin Line Cook (johnny wood)
A growing body of research indicates that Texas's restrictive abortion bans have negatively impacted the health and lives of Texas women and babies in multiple ways. Across the board, pregnancy outcomes and complications have worsened.
What researchers have discovered about maternal, infant health under Texas' abortion laws
In the more than four years since the state of Texas significantly restricted access to abortion, medical researchers have been studying the health effects of that policy change.
medicalxpress.com
December 29, 2025 at 5:12 PM
A growing body of research indicates that Texas's restrictive abortion bans have negatively impacted the health and lives of Texas women and babies in multiple ways. Across the board, pregnancy outcomes and complications have worsened.
Reposted by Chaos Goblin Line Cook (johnny wood)
They say imitation crab is the sincerest form of crab
December 27, 2025 at 1:56 PM
They say imitation crab is the sincerest form of crab
Reposted by Chaos Goblin Line Cook (johnny wood)
six months ago Reader’s Digest asked if they could purchase the publishing rights for this elaborate shitpost I wrote a year ago now wherein I pretended to be the elf equivalent of David Brooks at the North Pole. Thought it was maybe a phishing scam but it’s real LMAOO
December 24, 2025 at 9:31 PM
six months ago Reader’s Digest asked if they could purchase the publishing rights for this elaborate shitpost I wrote a year ago now wherein I pretended to be the elf equivalent of David Brooks at the North Pole. Thought it was maybe a phishing scam but it’s real LMAOO
Reposted by Chaos Goblin Line Cook (johnny wood)
my festive spirit amidst our grimly stupid reality (2025)
December 23, 2025 at 9:34 PM
my festive spirit amidst our grimly stupid reality (2025)
Reposted by Chaos Goblin Line Cook (johnny wood)
Reposted by Chaos Goblin Line Cook (johnny wood)
The full spiked 60 Minutes CECOT package, clean & subtitled. 1/5
December 23, 2025 at 1:28 AM
The full spiked 60 Minutes CECOT package, clean & subtitled. 1/5
Reposted by Chaos Goblin Line Cook (johnny wood)
So if anyone is confused by the statement that the Flyers just put out, this is apparently what happened last night. Lmao
December 19, 2025 at 3:18 PM
So if anyone is confused by the statement that the Flyers just put out, this is apparently what happened last night. Lmao
Still convinced that Daft Punk's "Get Lucky" is about trying to find a missing cat
December 16, 2025 at 8:14 PM
Still convinced that Daft Punk's "Get Lucky" is about trying to find a missing cat
Reposted by Chaos Goblin Line Cook (johnny wood)
This is INCREDIBLE
December 15, 2025 at 4:36 AM
This is INCREDIBLE
Reposted by Chaos Goblin Line Cook (johnny wood)
The Grinch has passed away. His Tesla Cybertruck left the freeway at a high rate of speed and was wreathed in flame almost immediately, where The Grinch was incinerated like common refuse. He is survived by his brother, The Grunch, and his much younger live-in "protege," Maximilian.
December 25, 2024 at 2:51 AM
The Grinch has passed away. His Tesla Cybertruck left the freeway at a high rate of speed and was wreathed in flame almost immediately, where The Grinch was incinerated like common refuse. He is survived by his brother, The Grunch, and his much younger live-in "protege," Maximilian.
Going in super stoned with my fiancé last year for Dune Pt 2 and chanting “WORM! WORM! WORM!” to the best of the thumpers until Shai Hulud actually revealed itself and we were in awe in a mostly empty theater on a chilly, icy Tuesday night
Raising the always fun question: What are your most memorable theater-going experiences?
Mine also include The Matrix, Blair Witch, and being way too stoned in Belgium when Fellowship of the Ring was sold out so we sat in the back row for Mulholland Drive instead.
Mine also include The Matrix, Blair Witch, and being way too stoned in Belgium when Fellowship of the Ring was sold out so we sat in the back row for Mulholland Drive instead.
It was hands-down one of the most memorable theater-going experiences I can remember, a collective 30-minute butt-clench/armrest-grab for the final climb. And we knew he lived! Wild.
December 13, 2025 at 1:43 PM
Going in super stoned with my fiancé last year for Dune Pt 2 and chanting “WORM! WORM! WORM!” to the best of the thumpers until Shai Hulud actually revealed itself and we were in awe in a mostly empty theater on a chilly, icy Tuesday night
Just what everybody wanted, Orwell retold by way of Mitt Romney
December 12, 2025 at 7:17 PM
Just what everybody wanted, Orwell retold by way of Mitt Romney
Reposted by Chaos Goblin Line Cook (johnny wood)
Kilmar Abrego Garcia is free. every bit of cruelty, boasting, slander, and persecution was for absolutely fucking nothing.
December 12, 2025 at 5:34 AM
Kilmar Abrego Garcia is free. every bit of cruelty, boasting, slander, and persecution was for absolutely fucking nothing.
You couldn't waterboard something like this out of me
Jimmy Fallon: "And do you use ChatGPT when raising your baby?"
Sam Altman: "I cannot imagine figuring out how to raise a newborn without ChatGPT."
Sam Altman: "I cannot imagine figuring out how to raise a newborn without ChatGPT."
December 9, 2025 at 5:09 PM
You couldn't waterboard something like this out of me
Jalen Hurts, just throw a temper tantrum. Just act like the biggest fuckin baby on the planet, I am begging you. Maybe that'll get Sirianni and Patullo's heads out of their asses and humble AJ enough out of his insufferable savior complex
December 9, 2025 at 5:24 AM
Jalen Hurts, just throw a temper tantrum. Just act like the biggest fuckin baby on the planet, I am begging you. Maybe that'll get Sirianni and Patullo's heads out of their asses and humble AJ enough out of his insufferable savior complex
Reposted by Chaos Goblin Line Cook (johnny wood)
Scientists now believe that the human brain--a magic goo for worrying--can also be used to do other things
December 8, 2025 at 3:53 AM
Scientists now believe that the human brain--a magic goo for worrying--can also be used to do other things
Reposted by Chaos Goblin Line Cook (johnny wood)
We Need To Talk About Kevin (1990)
December 1, 2024 at 2:31 AM
We Need To Talk About Kevin (1990)
Reposted by Chaos Goblin Line Cook (johnny wood)
this has become a very important video to me
December 7, 2025 at 4:29 AM
this has become a very important video to me
Reposted by Chaos Goblin Line Cook (johnny wood)
They are running the government according to the logic of right-wing grievance media. I cannot emphasize that enough. The point is to create content, and they don't see an actual difference between dunking on Sabrina Carpenter, passing legislation, and bombing other countries.
I don't really know what the administration hopes to gain by picking fights with the most well-liked pop artists in the United States. You're just generating backlash for no discernible reason outside of owning the libs.
Sabrina Carpenter ratioed the White House after it used her song in an ICE video.
The WH deleted the post…but now it’s back with a new ICE video, this time using an altered clip from Carpenter’s SNL monologue.
The WH deleted the post…but now it’s back with a new ICE video, this time using an altered clip from Carpenter’s SNL monologue.
December 6, 2025 at 4:11 AM
They are running the government according to the logic of right-wing grievance media. I cannot emphasize that enough. The point is to create content, and they don't see an actual difference between dunking on Sabrina Carpenter, passing legislation, and bombing other countries.
Reposted by Chaos Goblin Line Cook (johnny wood)
At least 40% of the book is just tortured descriptions of her surroundings.
December 4, 2025 at 2:45 PM
At least 40% of the book is just tortured descriptions of her surroundings.