damocles, dude, you absolutely cannot put your sword there. come on man

I think a decade or so from now "too much screentime can make you think society is collapsing" will be so commonly known that we'll have a name for it and it will be as universally understood as "too much sun can give you a sunburn"

attractive women are described as beautiful (i.e., full of beauty)

attractive men are described as handsome (i.e., some of hand)

COWBOY DAN, WHILE FIRING HIS RIFLE IN THE SKY: God if i have to die you will have to die!!!
GOD: Who The Hell Is That
ANGEL: that's Cowboy Dan, sir. he's a major player in the cowboy scene
GOD: What

SCULLY: It's impossible. There's no one on earth who could teach you to fit that many marshmallows in your mouth.

MULDER: Daff righ...... No one...... on urff...

ME: Can I use the bathroom?
FRIEND: End of the hall. Sorry about the mess. And all the shower mildew. And the pissman. Just kick him if he gets between you and the toilet. DON'T piss on him.
MR: He's not leaving.
FRIEND: Kick him way harder than you think.
PISSMAN: Kick so hard you piss a little...

Our teeth AND ambition are bared? In this economy?

[an awkward minute passes as Death struggles to pick up change from the countertop]
Death: (embarrassed) ha ha slippery coins
Drugstore Clerk: nah man it’s cuz you got them bone hands

What it feels like when the guy's group chat is popping off