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distantroaring.bsky.social
case 🦇
@distantroaring.bsky.social
shrimps is bugs

(he/26)
Pinned
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Baby Doom!
November 2, 2025 at 7:41 PM
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BABA YAGA: who dares stand before my hut??
ME: hey can you turn this guy into a cat for me?
BY: huh? why?
ME: i hate him. engineer up the road says he's got a machine that can launch him into space. he'll spin forever as a cat
BY: what's in it for me?
GUY: please no! i have kids!
ME: his kids
October 29, 2025 at 6:59 PM
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EMILY DICKINSON, JEDI KNIGHT

Not so clumsy, nor so random -
As a blaster - in its rage

More elegant - the weapon
More civilized - the age
October 22, 2025 at 8:24 PM
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cigarettes should be free if you're visibly weeping when you walk into the gas station
October 25, 2025 at 5:42 PM
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anyway i'm cute
January 28, 2025 at 12:16 AM
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October 23, 2025 at 8:05 PM
cigarettes should be free if you're visibly weeping when you walk into the gas station
October 25, 2025 at 5:42 PM
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Same Bat time, Same Bat Channel!
#batman #dccomics #digitalart #throwbatthursday
October 16, 2025 at 5:49 AM
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the poker npcs in red dead redemption 2:
bellowing "TOO RICH FOR MY BLOOD!" and standing up from a poker table 0.4 seconds after sitting down
December 1, 2024 at 1:31 AM
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me, entering your mentions unannounced:

SCROMITING?
December 1, 2024 at 3:53 PM
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you mean you're not a clumsy boymoder femboy twink? can't believe i hooked up with a chick
October 13, 2025 at 10:00 PM
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Using the robots to generate erotic content was always the end goal for ChatGPT, huh?
a woman wearing glasses and a white sweater holds a marker to her forehead
Alt: a woman wearing glasses and a white sweater holds a marker to her forehead before laughing
media.tenor.com
October 15, 2025 at 3:26 AM
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YOU - Where the hood, where the hood, where the hood at?

SHIVERS - HAVE A BROTHER IN THE CUT. WHERE THE WOOD AT?
October 18, 2025 at 3:25 PM
kim please wear the piss jacket we have to match
CONCEPTUALIZATION - Pity. The jackets are meant to complete each other. If a man were standing alone on a street corner with 'PISSF****T' written on his back, it'd just be an individual that has taken a liking to urine. And 'FUCK THE WORLD' all on its own is, frankly, generic.
October 20, 2025 at 7:32 AM
you've heard of pyramid head, now get ready for slut head
Slut Head Nurse Devours Her Patients Yumi Kazama
October 20, 2025 at 7:19 AM
a bewitching beauty seduces me by yelling into my ears in a loud voice literally everyone can hear. yura kano
A Bewitching Beauty Seduces Me By Whispering Into My Ears In A Quiet Voice Only I Can Hear. Yura Kano
October 10, 2025 at 7:22 AM
goody skimbleshanks? the railway cat? the cat of the railway train?
A Real Nut Buster!! Goody S*********s
October 10, 2025 at 7:18 AM
cheering myself up about my broken leg by listening to the gnarliest animorphs transformations like some sort of fucked up asmr
September 21, 2025 at 11:43 PM
it's incredibly fun to do this if you're 5'1" and have a lot of aura. make them get flustered and look down at you
My tiktok algorithm update
September 21, 2025 at 11:42 PM
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That's a perfectly cromulent vagina you got right there girl 👀
September 21, 2025 at 11:17 PM
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Google doc is the lower class form of spread sheets. Spread sheets is the perverts term for marital bed.
September 21, 2025 at 11:32 PM
i don't know that i've ever masturbated deluxe edition, nor would i know where to start
This Is What Happened When I Showed These Housewives Who Walked By How I Masturbate Deluxe Edition (1) It Appeared That They Were Becoming Bashfully Horny, So I Decided To Fuck Them
August 14, 2025 at 3:10 PM
they keep putting too much month at the end of my money
July 31, 2025 at 2:23 PM
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the Ur-Blowjob. the Platonic ideal. the blowjob upon which all others are modeled
The Blowjob
April 25, 2025 at 6:56 PM
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need i remind a wise man like you that hunger can be sated with food?
June 1, 2025 at 1:45 AM