Reposted by DJ Atwell
DETECTIVE: did you know the victim
WITNESS: yeah it’s our neighbor mr weiss
DETECTIVE: did you see what happened
WITNESS: some short dude jumped mr weiss and tased him until he was dead
DETECTIVE: *leans in close* you tellin me a shrimp fried this weiss
WITNESS: yeah it’s our neighbor mr weiss
DETECTIVE: did you see what happened
WITNESS: some short dude jumped mr weiss and tased him until he was dead
DETECTIVE: *leans in close* you tellin me a shrimp fried this weiss
December 20, 2024 at 5:37 PM
DETECTIVE: did you know the victim
WITNESS: yeah it’s our neighbor mr weiss
DETECTIVE: did you see what happened
WITNESS: some short dude jumped mr weiss and tased him until he was dead
DETECTIVE: *leans in close* you tellin me a shrimp fried this weiss
WITNESS: yeah it’s our neighbor mr weiss
DETECTIVE: did you see what happened
WITNESS: some short dude jumped mr weiss and tased him until he was dead
DETECTIVE: *leans in close* you tellin me a shrimp fried this weiss
Imagine being the second coming of Christ and needing to spread the gospel on social media. Instead of getting crucified you'd be cancelled
December 17, 2024 at 3:52 PM
Imagine being the second coming of Christ and needing to spread the gospel on social media. Instead of getting crucified you'd be cancelled
Reposted by DJ Atwell
A polycule is just a boardroom with benefits.
December 15, 2024 at 6:33 PM
A polycule is just a boardroom with benefits.
Predicting the Mangione trial turns into a 2nd amendment argument
December 15, 2024 at 5:23 PM
Predicting the Mangione trial turns into a 2nd amendment argument
Reposted by DJ Atwell
It sucks having to code switch constantly to talk to people who haven’t read a full book since the 8th grade
December 15, 2024 at 6:37 AM
It sucks having to code switch constantly to talk to people who haven’t read a full book since the 8th grade
Who up getting radicalized by the healthcare industry rn
December 11, 2024 at 7:26 PM
Who up getting radicalized by the healthcare industry rn
Reposted by DJ Atwell
Stroking my shit paranormal style
December 10, 2024 at 6:06 PM
Stroking my shit paranormal style
Reposted by DJ Atwell
just from a folklore point of view, "attractive hooded man kills billionaire head of hated business with bullets inscribed with political slogans and then vanishes" is narratively breathtaking
December 7, 2024 at 9:54 AM
just from a folklore point of view, "attractive hooded man kills billionaire head of hated business with bullets inscribed with political slogans and then vanishes" is narratively breathtaking
Unless your nativity scene includes a real live birthing, it's not legitimate in the eyes of the church
December 7, 2024 at 7:33 PM
Unless your nativity scene includes a real live birthing, it's not legitimate in the eyes of the church
Idea: a reality show where billionaires are trapped in an IKEA until they can successfully assemble a dresser
December 7, 2024 at 12:53 PM
Idea: a reality show where billionaires are trapped in an IKEA until they can successfully assemble a dresser
Reposted by DJ Atwell
the three genders
December 6, 2024 at 9:04 PM
the three genders
Don't ask the chicken why she crossed the road. She's tired of answering the same questions, just listen to her podcast about it
December 7, 2024 at 12:42 PM
Don't ask the chicken why she crossed the road. She's tired of answering the same questions, just listen to her podcast about it
Reposted by DJ Atwell
Meanwhile in New York…
December 6, 2024 at 9:09 PM
Meanwhile in New York…
Hard at work studying my new favorite programming language
December 2, 2024 at 11:16 PM
Hard at work studying my new favorite programming language
10 hours a day in the meme fields, hunter-gathering content
December 2, 2024 at 10:36 PM
10 hours a day in the meme fields, hunter-gathering content
The post: "I like A better than B"
The reply: "Oh so you think B is perfect, A should die, and anyone who disagrees should bite the curb?"
The reply: "Oh so you think B is perfect, A should die, and anyone who disagrees should bite the curb?"
November 30, 2024 at 1:56 AM
The post: "I like A better than B"
The reply: "Oh so you think B is perfect, A should die, and anyone who disagrees should bite the curb?"
The reply: "Oh so you think B is perfect, A should die, and anyone who disagrees should bite the curb?"
Reposted by DJ Atwell
People in 3001 be like: a second spaceship just hit the tower
November 29, 2024 at 5:01 PM
People in 3001 be like: a second spaceship just hit the tower
Reposted by DJ Atwell
optimist: the cup is half full
pessimist: the cup is half empty
2 girls: hey everyone, watch this
pessimist: the cup is half empty
2 girls: hey everyone, watch this
optimist: the cup is half full
pessimist: the cup is half empty
depressimist: uses half cup of water to take 3 effexor XR
pessimist: the cup is half empty
depressimist: uses half cup of water to take 3 effexor XR
Optimist: the cup is half full
Pessimist: the cup is half empty
me: is there coffee in it
Pessimist: the cup is half empty
me: is there coffee in it
November 27, 2024 at 4:26 PM
optimist: the cup is half full
pessimist: the cup is half empty
2 girls: hey everyone, watch this
pessimist: the cup is half empty
2 girls: hey everyone, watch this
your therapist calls me every week and we talk about how crazy you are lmao
November 29, 2024 at 10:53 AM
your therapist calls me every week and we talk about how crazy you are lmao
Reposted by DJ Atwell
Cut my pie into pieces
This is my last dessert
Slice of pecan, and pumpkin
Big glass of milk
For the cookie dunkin’
This is my last dessert
Slice of pecan, and pumpkin
Big glass of milk
For the cookie dunkin’
November 28, 2024 at 5:26 PM
Cut my pie into pieces
This is my last dessert
Slice of pecan, and pumpkin
Big glass of milk
For the cookie dunkin’
This is my last dessert
Slice of pecan, and pumpkin
Big glass of milk
For the cookie dunkin’
Guys literally want one thing and it's disgusting
November 28, 2024 at 9:08 PM
Guys literally want one thing and it's disgusting
Proud to announce my new line of colognes made just for bottoms. Our first fragrance is called gapericot
November 28, 2024 at 6:16 PM
Proud to announce my new line of colognes made just for bottoms. Our first fragrance is called gapericot
Our taco who art in bell, baja be thy blast 🙏
November 28, 2024 at 6:10 PM
Our taco who art in bell, baja be thy blast 🙏