Reposted by Owen Mitchell
‘Or You Could Just Get Takeout,’ Reports Little Voice That Already Knows It’s Won https://theonion.com/or-you-could-just-get-takeout-reports-little-voice-t-1850409519/
January 27, 2026 at 8:00 PM
‘Or You Could Just Get Takeout,’ Reports Little Voice That Already Knows It’s Won https://theonion.com/or-you-could-just-get-takeout-reports-little-voice-t-1850409519/
Reposted by Owen Mitchell
In Ghost Song -- this is never mentioned in game and I've never seen anyone do it -- but the Sprinkler bombs can be directly controlled by the right analog stick if you hold L2 down. I made some odd decisions lol #gamedev I wonder if anyone ever stumbled on this on their own. #metroidvania
January 22, 2026 at 4:21 PM
In Ghost Song -- this is never mentioned in game and I've never seen anyone do it -- but the Sprinkler bombs can be directly controlled by the right analog stick if you hold L2 down. I made some odd decisions lol #gamedev I wonder if anyone ever stumbled on this on their own. #metroidvania
Reposted by Owen Mitchell
i wish i could still buy things at the prices i used to complain about
January 19, 2026 at 6:28 PM
i wish i could still buy things at the prices i used to complain about
Reposted by Owen Mitchell
I feel like we crossed a species-wide moral threshold with the normalization of the revenge porn and CSAM machine. It’s another little unrecoverable slice of innocence, just gone, and for nothing.
January 2, 2026 at 4:43 AM
I feel like we crossed a species-wide moral threshold with the normalization of the revenge porn and CSAM machine. It’s another little unrecoverable slice of innocence, just gone, and for nothing.
Reposted by Owen Mitchell
Childhood Best Friend Would Never Make The Cut Now https://theonion.com/childhood-best-friend-would-never-make-the-cut-now/
December 31, 2025 at 3:45 PM
Childhood Best Friend Would Never Make The Cut Now https://theonion.com/childhood-best-friend-would-never-make-the-cut-now/
Reposted by Owen Mitchell
Become ungovernable
December 17, 2025 at 1:16 AM
Become ungovernable
Reposted by Owen Mitchell
Study Finds 80% Of Americans Lack Social Connections To Pull Off Heist https://theonion.com/study-finds-80-of-americans-lack-social-connections-to-pull-off-heist/
December 11, 2025 at 8:00 PM
Study Finds 80% Of Americans Lack Social Connections To Pull Off Heist https://theonion.com/study-finds-80-of-americans-lack-social-connections-to-pull-off-heist/
Reposted by Owen Mitchell
We only rate dogs. This is a very cozy bed bug. We advise you to get a new bed, since this one is taken, and kindly request you only send dogs. Thank you… 12/10 (TT: coldsmuckersuncrustable)
December 3, 2025 at 5:40 PM
We only rate dogs. This is a very cozy bed bug. We advise you to get a new bed, since this one is taken, and kindly request you only send dogs. Thank you… 12/10 (TT: coldsmuckersuncrustable)
Reposted by Owen Mitchell
This is Scotty. He is not chasing his own tail's shadow. If you'll notice, he actually has it cornered. 13/10 (TT: lifewithscotty)
November 18, 2025 at 11:55 PM
This is Scotty. He is not chasing his own tail's shadow. If you'll notice, he actually has it cornered. 13/10 (TT: lifewithscotty)
Reposted by Owen Mitchell
I don't believe that NPCs or dialog are somehow INCOMPATIBLE with Metroid games on some fundamental, immutable level.
But it doesn't help that no Metroid game in history has EVER had good dialog or a single worthwhile NPC
But it doesn't help that no Metroid game in history has EVER had good dialog or a single worthwhile NPC
November 14, 2025 at 4:52 PM
I don't believe that NPCs or dialog are somehow INCOMPATIBLE with Metroid games on some fundamental, immutable level.
But it doesn't help that no Metroid game in history has EVER had good dialog or a single worthwhile NPC
But it doesn't help that no Metroid game in history has EVER had good dialog or a single worthwhile NPC
Reposted by Owen Mitchell
Flying Squirrel Loves It Every Time
November 5, 2025 at 11:00 PM
Flying Squirrel Loves It Every Time
Reposted by Owen Mitchell
BREAKING: Drunk Teen Going 100 MPH Down Slick Highway Is Invincible https://theonion.com/breaking-drunk-teen-going-100-mph-down-slick-highway-i-1819575753/
October 20, 2025 at 10:00 PM
BREAKING: Drunk Teen Going 100 MPH Down Slick Highway Is Invincible https://theonion.com/breaking-drunk-teen-going-100-mph-down-slick-highway-i-1819575753/
Reposted by Owen Mitchell
Health Experts Recommend Standing Up At Desk, Leaving Office, Never Coming Back https://theonion.com/health-experts-recommend-standing-up-at-desk-leaving-o-1819577456/
October 7, 2025 at 8:15 PM
Health Experts Recommend Standing Up At Desk, Leaving Office, Never Coming Back https://theonion.com/health-experts-recommend-standing-up-at-desk-leaving-o-1819577456/
Reposted by Owen Mitchell
"We're going to have to learn to live with [radical right wing demagoguery with all its associated violence]" is:
- An abdication of responsibility.
- An abandonment of hope.
- A position only available to those who feel safe enough with an ongoing catastrophe to begin the work of normalizing it
- An abdication of responsibility.
- An abandonment of hope.
- A position only available to those who feel safe enough with an ongoing catastrophe to begin the work of normalizing it
"Much of what I would describe as Kirk's worst moments were now just standard fair MAGA Republicanism. And the leader of MAGA Republicanism is the President of the United States...we are going to have to live here with each other believing what we believe. Disagreeing in the ways we disagree."
September 17, 2025 at 7:43 PM
"We're going to have to learn to live with [radical right wing demagoguery with all its associated violence]" is:
- An abdication of responsibility.
- An abandonment of hope.
- A position only available to those who feel safe enough with an ongoing catastrophe to begin the work of normalizing it
- An abdication of responsibility.
- An abandonment of hope.
- A position only available to those who feel safe enough with an ongoing catastrophe to begin the work of normalizing it
Reposted by Owen Mitchell
Reposted by Owen Mitchell
Nation’s Drunk Strangers Announce Plans To Agree With Anything One Another Says https://theonion.com/nation-s-drunk-strangers-announce-plans-to-agree-with-a-1825503434/
September 14, 2025 at 7:00 PM
Nation’s Drunk Strangers Announce Plans To Agree With Anything One Another Says https://theonion.com/nation-s-drunk-strangers-announce-plans-to-agree-with-a-1825503434/
Reposted by Owen Mitchell
Gladwell has always been the quintessential charlatan, using his capacity as a storyteller to worm his way into the hearts (and wallets) of bored audiences eager to hear that there's one cool trick that could unlock the truth of the world. Still, turning on trans ppl in an hour of need is a new low.
September 3, 2025 at 8:30 PM
Gladwell has always been the quintessential charlatan, using his capacity as a storyteller to worm his way into the hearts (and wallets) of bored audiences eager to hear that there's one cool trick that could unlock the truth of the world. Still, turning on trans ppl in an hour of need is a new low.
Reposted by Owen Mitchell
restaurants are a scam. most restaurants secretly have a kitchen in the back that you’re not allowed to see where they prepare all the food
August 26, 2025 at 11:18 PM
restaurants are a scam. most restaurants secretly have a kitchen in the back that you’re not allowed to see where they prepare all the food
Reposted by Owen Mitchell
if you're digging two graves, go ahead and seek revenge. you've already done the hardest part
August 25, 2025 at 5:45 AM
if you're digging two graves, go ahead and seek revenge. you've already done the hardest part
Reposted by Owen Mitchell
Resourceful Man Able To Cobble Together Bad Mood From Handful Of Minor Annoyances theonion.com/resourc...
August 18, 2025 at 2:00 PM
Resourceful Man Able To Cobble Together Bad Mood From Handful Of Minor Annoyances theonion.com/resourc...
Reposted by Owen Mitchell
Search For Self Called Off After 38 Years theonion.com/search-...
August 16, 2025 at 7:00 PM
Search For Self Called Off After 38 Years theonion.com/search-...
Reposted by Owen Mitchell
Dumbest Friend Just Bought 20 Chickens
theonion.com/dumbest...
theonion.com/dumbest...
August 12, 2025 at 6:00 PM
Dumbest Friend Just Bought 20 Chickens
theonion.com/dumbest...
theonion.com/dumbest...
Reposted by Owen Mitchell
“Endure.” The word was a curse.
August 12, 2025 at 1:16 AM
“Endure.” The word was a curse.