Ellis Weiner
@ellisw.bsky.social
Humorist, novelist, ghost writer, drummer, maker of self-descriptive lists.
NBC news has an ad on Meidas Touch about how they want to heal mistrust of media. "Let's start with the facts and go on from there." And the announcer sounds like an abusive husband condescendingly trying to calm and gaslight his "hysterical" wife.
November 15, 2025 at 10:23 PM
NBC news has an ad on Meidas Touch about how they want to heal mistrust of media. "Let's start with the facts and go on from there." And the announcer sounds like an abusive husband condescendingly trying to calm and gaslight his "hysterical" wife.
Trump constantly talks about diagnostic tests as though they're measures of ability. Gets a dementia test and "aces" it. Has an MRI and it's "the best." Is this from stupidity, or dementia? You make the call!
Of course, Donald is bullshiting, but he’s also too stupid to realize that he’s making himself sound like an incurious idiot. Who goes to the hospital for a procedure and doesn’t ask the doctor why it is necessary and what issue is it addressing?
Trump: I had an MRI and the result was outstanding.
Reporter: Was it your brain?
Trump: I have no idea what they analyzed, but whatever they analyzed, they analyzed it well.
Reporter: Was it your brain?
Trump: I have no idea what they analyzed, but whatever they analyzed, they analyzed it well.
November 15, 2025 at 8:25 PM
Trump constantly talks about diagnostic tests as though they're measures of ability. Gets a dementia test and "aces" it. Has an MRI and it's "the best." Is this from stupidity, or dementia? You make the call!
Reposted by Ellis Weiner
My right side is absolutely killing me
You need an appendectomy
How much is that
Umm … $47,285
How much without the anesthesia
Ok we can do that for $36,210
I don’t think so
What’s it going to take to get you into this OR today
I’m going to shop around
Hold on, my manager is coming over
You need an appendectomy
How much is that
Umm … $47,285
How much without the anesthesia
Ok we can do that for $36,210
I don’t think so
What’s it going to take to get you into this OR today
I’m going to shop around
Hold on, my manager is coming over
TRUMP: We’re going to give Americans the money to buy health insurance
REPORTER: But won’t they buy it from
Insurance companies?
TRUMP: Ahhh. Some may. I mean they’ll be negotiating prices
REPORTER: But won’t they buy it from
Insurance companies?
TRUMP: Ahhh. Some may. I mean they’ll be negotiating prices
November 15, 2025 at 1:58 AM
My right side is absolutely killing me
You need an appendectomy
How much is that
Umm … $47,285
How much without the anesthesia
Ok we can do that for $36,210
I don’t think so
What’s it going to take to get you into this OR today
I’m going to shop around
Hold on, my manager is coming over
You need an appendectomy
How much is that
Umm … $47,285
How much without the anesthesia
Ok we can do that for $36,210
I don’t think so
What’s it going to take to get you into this OR today
I’m going to shop around
Hold on, my manager is coming over
Look, FBI--just leak the files and let's be done with it.
November 15, 2025 at 6:52 PM
Look, FBI--just leak the files and let's be done with it.
Reposted by Ellis Weiner
Pam Bondi will not have a license to practice law when this is all over. You can’t stay a bar member and agree to investigate only members of one political party for child sexual abuse but not members of the other. And, you can’t do it after previously saying no one else could be charged.
November 15, 2025 at 12:29 AM
Pam Bondi will not have a license to practice law when this is all over. You can’t stay a bar member and agree to investigate only members of one political party for child sexual abuse but not members of the other. And, you can’t do it after previously saying no one else could be charged.
Wut?
Dementia J. Trump can’t even get through a sentence when all he has to do is read it. This is guy is sundowning pretty fast. bsky.app/profile/atru...
Trump: "Christians and more, think of this, more than twice as likely foster care they'll adopt the general population. They adopt to it so easily. When they get out, they adopt to it like it's become second nature. It's amazing."
November 14, 2025 at 12:30 AM
Wut?
Nixon - Watergate
Reagan - Iran/Contra
Geo. W - lies US into a war and a disastrous occupation
Trump - extorts Zelenski
Trump - corruption, pedophilia
When will US voters realize that the Republican Party is a mendacious criminal enterprise?
Reagan - Iran/Contra
Geo. W - lies US into a war and a disastrous occupation
Trump - extorts Zelenski
Trump - corruption, pedophilia
When will US voters realize that the Republican Party is a mendacious criminal enterprise?
November 13, 2025 at 8:44 PM
Nixon - Watergate
Reagan - Iran/Contra
Geo. W - lies US into a war and a disastrous occupation
Trump - extorts Zelenski
Trump - corruption, pedophilia
When will US voters realize that the Republican Party is a mendacious criminal enterprise?
Reagan - Iran/Contra
Geo. W - lies US into a war and a disastrous occupation
Trump - extorts Zelenski
Trump - corruption, pedophilia
When will US voters realize that the Republican Party is a mendacious criminal enterprise?
Our latest: The 50th edition of Splitsville reviews the past ten months.
thesplit.substack.com/p/splitsvill...
thesplit.substack.com/p/splitsvill...
Splitsville "HAPPY" ANNIVERSARY
The Devil-May-Care Newsletter for Fans of THE SPLIT
thesplit.substack.com
November 13, 2025 at 6:50 PM
Our latest: The 50th edition of Splitsville reviews the past ten months.
thesplit.substack.com/p/splitsvill...
thesplit.substack.com/p/splitsvill...
Reposted by Ellis Weiner
WOW, new signage!
November 13, 2025 at 4:10 PM
WOW, new signage!
Vance proving yet again that there is literally no bit of nonsense he will not say, AND say it in a distinctly condescending and repellent tone. I mean, yes, have contempt for your audience. But don't SHOW it.
Honestly how are pharma companies not allowed to sue these people into the ground. I'm really asking.
JD Vance calls ibuprofen "useless medication" and implies it's not "necessary, safe and effective."
November 12, 2025 at 11:13 PM
Vance proving yet again that there is literally no bit of nonsense he will not say, AND say it in a distinctly condescending and repellent tone. I mean, yes, have contempt for your audience. But don't SHOW it.
Good. What's important is that both fighters have both first and last names that are first names. Finally.
November 12, 2025 at 10:58 PM
Good. What's important is that both fighters have both first and last names that are first names. Finally.
Here's an obvious, easy, fun move: Every day, Dems should stage a mini-press conference showing video of Karoline Leavitt's latest lies, and then providing the corrections and the truth. It's like solar power--an infinite resource. It needn't be a Congressperson, but an official Dem spokesperson.
November 12, 2025 at 8:52 PM
Here's an obvious, easy, fun move: Every day, Dems should stage a mini-press conference showing video of Karoline Leavitt's latest lies, and then providing the corrections and the truth. It's like solar power--an infinite resource. It needn't be a Congressperson, but an official Dem spokesperson.
Please gambol responsibly.
November 12, 2025 at 1:55 AM
Please gambol responsibly.
Nobody who works for Trump gets to have opinions about others' "patriotism." Fuck this guy.
Disgusting. You engaged in political gamesmanship using them as pawns knowing they would get harmed and now you question *their* patriotism because some of them aren't wealthy like you and didn't want to work a high stress job for no pay?
Sean Duffy threatens "action" against air traffic controllers who didn't come to work during the shutdown: "I'm concerned about their patriotism."
November 11, 2025 at 11:50 PM
Nobody who works for Trump gets to have opinions about others' "patriotism." Fuck this guy.
Trump's bullshit here reminds us of the U. of Chicago physicist who said, of string theory, that "it's not even wrong."
November 11, 2025 at 12:28 AM
Trump's bullshit here reminds us of the U. of Chicago physicist who said, of string theory, that "it's not even wrong."
Reposted by Ellis Weiner
All of this
Thoughts on Dems throwing a game they were winning. www.offmessage.net/p/16-thought...
16 Thoughts On The Dem Shutdown Cave
Another disgrace, and a new path forward.
www.offmessage.net
November 10, 2025 at 3:31 AM
All of this
This. (Someone here wrote that, with this vote, they've turned Indivisible into an anti-Dem-incumbent organization.)
The Democrat party that caved tonight is not the one we elected Tuesday. These are the collaborators still scrambling to cling to the old ways. We will get rid of them.
November 10, 2025 at 3:20 AM
This. (Someone here wrote that, with this vote, they've turned Indivisible into an anti-Dem-incumbent organization.)
Reposted by Ellis Weiner
The whole GOP shutdown strategy is hoping that sheer force of propaganda can convince the public that things getting worse does not reflect badly on the people in charge of the government, and that hurting America more will get Democrats to acquiesce to the Trump admin hurting America in other ways.
Sean Duffy: "We have a number of people who want to get home for the holidays, they want to see their family. Listen, many of them are not going to be able to get on an airplane."
November 9, 2025 at 4:28 PM
The whole GOP shutdown strategy is hoping that sheer force of propaganda can convince the public that things getting worse does not reflect badly on the people in charge of the government, and that hurting America more will get Democrats to acquiesce to the Trump admin hurting America in other ways.
Mamdani is going to implement Shania law because this kiss, this kiss...
November 9, 2025 at 3:31 AM
Mamdani is going to implement Shania law because this kiss, this kiss...
Reposted by Ellis Weiner
Waiting for a very delayed flight to Atlanta & the pilot (Scott!) has become everyone's best friend, hanging out amongst the people. He's let us know that Atlanta is only allowing 30 flights an hour, when it's usually 120.
Obviously frustrating but also enjoying how much Scott is relishing this.
Obviously frustrating but also enjoying how much Scott is relishing this.
November 9, 2025 at 2:33 AM
Waiting for a very delayed flight to Atlanta & the pilot (Scott!) has become everyone's best friend, hanging out amongst the people. He's let us know that Atlanta is only allowing 30 flights an hour, when it's usually 120.
Obviously frustrating but also enjoying how much Scott is relishing this.
Obviously frustrating but also enjoying how much Scott is relishing this.
Reposted by Ellis Weiner
Reposted by Ellis Weiner
Reposted by Ellis Weiner
Someone should go there and show them the clips of Trump's Great Gatsby party. I bet they'd be so happy to know he's having fun.
This is the food distribution line at Nellis Air Force Base in Las Vegas 11/7/25. This is what Trump doesn't want you to see.
November 8, 2025 at 10:52 PM
Someone should go there and show them the clips of Trump's Great Gatsby party. I bet they'd be so happy to know he's having fun.
So much fun reading blogs/skeets/etc. about the big Dem win and its implications.
Thus, proposed opposite term from doomscrolling:
boonscrolling
Thus, proposed opposite term from doomscrolling:
boonscrolling
November 8, 2025 at 10:22 PM
So much fun reading blogs/skeets/etc. about the big Dem win and its implications.
Thus, proposed opposite term from doomscrolling:
boonscrolling
Thus, proposed opposite term from doomscrolling:
boonscrolling
Let 'em do it. It'll be all the more entertaining, after he dies, when they change their mind. Like watching his co-op owners tear down the Trump signs on their buildings.
President Trump would like the Commanders’ new stadium named after him, though no formal talks have occurred, ESPN reported. Trump will be in attendance at the team’s game on Sunday — the Commanders expect the topic may arise during his visit.
Trump Stadium, home of the Commanders? The president is not opposed.
No formal conversations on naming rights for the Commanders’ new D.C. home have been held.
wapo.st
November 8, 2025 at 9:47 PM
Let 'em do it. It'll be all the more entertaining, after he dies, when they change their mind. Like watching his co-op owners tear down the Trump signs on their buildings.