Damn girl, are you the moon? Because you're beautiful and mysterious and hostile to all forms of life

Well done, young adults 😊😊

If you run out of pet names for your partner, just call them assorted baking ingredients: sugar, honey, cinnamon, vanilla, garlic powder, Montreal steak seasoning, butter, pumpkin.

No group in modern society is more discriminated against than the very sleepy. Barred from prestigious jobs like airline pilot and forklift operator. Neglected by sleepist musicians who refuse to play shows that end by 9pm.

If we’d speak more ill of the dead, maybe it would remind the living not to be assholes.