Mary C
@maryocarolan.bsky.social
The Chief Brody of wasps. Cat herder. Buzzkill.
Attempted to kick a dismembered tennis ball out of my way (a victim of the dog) while wearing fluffy socks on a tiled floor.
Arse up, head down, broke both my wrists.
Arse up, head down, broke both my wrists.
What's the most ridiculous way you ever hurt yourself? I got out of the tub, skidded in water and tripped over the toilet. Ankle sprain.
😅
😅
January 6, 2026 at 3:00 PM
Attempted to kick a dismembered tennis ball out of my way (a victim of the dog) while wearing fluffy socks on a tiled floor.
Arse up, head down, broke both my wrists.
Arse up, head down, broke both my wrists.
Reposted by Mary C
If you ever feel, as I often do, that you’re just not quite smart enough to maintain a grasp of the complexities and rapidly-changing nature of the modern world, console yourself with the thought that they made Liz Truss Prime Minister of the United Kingdom and you’re way, way smarter than her.
January 6, 2026 at 11:59 AM
If you ever feel, as I often do, that you’re just not quite smart enough to maintain a grasp of the complexities and rapidly-changing nature of the modern world, console yourself with the thought that they made Liz Truss Prime Minister of the United Kingdom and you’re way, way smarter than her.
I’m not American, and yet:
January 5, 2026 at 5:33 PM
I’m not American, and yet:
Taking down peripheral Christmas decorations amidst a heavy head cold whilst the snow melts and the Americans run hog wild.
Happy new year!
Happy new year!
January 5, 2026 at 2:07 PM
Taking down peripheral Christmas decorations amidst a heavy head cold whilst the snow melts and the Americans run hog wild.
Happy new year!
Happy new year!
Reposted by Mary C
Expect to see a lot of this classic Onion headline, from 23 years ago, over the coming weeks.
January 3, 2026 at 5:40 PM
Expect to see a lot of this classic Onion headline, from 23 years ago, over the coming weeks.
Reposted by Mary C
All it takes for evil to thrive is for mediocre world leaders to say “I’d rather not say”
January 4, 2026 at 11:39 AM
All it takes for evil to thrive is for mediocre world leaders to say “I’d rather not say”
Love how all those “checks and balances” neither check nor balance. Loving that for all of us as the Mad King continues his rampage.
Honour systems only work if literally anyone involved has any honour. 😕
Honour systems only work if literally anyone involved has any honour. 😕
January 4, 2026 at 11:37 AM
Love how all those “checks and balances” neither check nor balance. Loving that for all of us as the Mad King continues his rampage.
Honour systems only work if literally anyone involved has any honour. 😕
Honour systems only work if literally anyone involved has any honour. 😕
Reposted by Mary C
"Maduro is a brutal authoritarian dictator," I wisely intone, as the corrupt demented paedophile US President violating Constitutional Law while operating a gestapo and concentration camps illegally arrests a foreign leader on charges which read like they were written on a paper placemat in crayon.
January 3, 2026 at 1:24 PM
"Maduro is a brutal authoritarian dictator," I wisely intone, as the corrupt demented paedophile US President violating Constitutional Law while operating a gestapo and concentration camps illegally arrests a foreign leader on charges which read like they were written on a paper placemat in crayon.
Reposted by Mary C
A gangster state at home, a rogue state abroad: and entirely because Congress and the Supreme Court have abdicated their proper constitutional roles.
January 3, 2026 at 10:11 AM
A gangster state at home, a rogue state abroad: and entirely because Congress and the Supreme Court have abdicated their proper constitutional roles.
Reposted by Mary C
I'm old enough to remember a time when the president would at least have put some effort into lying to Congress first
January 3, 2026 at 12:51 PM
I'm old enough to remember a time when the president would at least have put some effort into lying to Congress first
Hi! I’m a big lump of an idiot teenage boy, going too fast and too close on a waterslide - I’m going to land hard on the back of an 8 year old girl, shove her under and leave her disoriented and nearly drowned.
Introduce yourself as what almost killed you:
Greetings! I am a very, very dusty lamp with no bulb in my socket and I am turned on. Dust me?
Greetings! I am a very, very dusty lamp with no bulb in my socket and I am turned on. Dust me?
Introduce yourself as what almost killed you:
Hi, I'm the fireball from the kitchen oven
Hi, I'm the fireball from the kitchen oven
January 2, 2026 at 11:53 PM
Hi! I’m a big lump of an idiot teenage boy, going too fast and too close on a waterslide - I’m going to land hard on the back of an 8 year old girl, shove her under and leave her disoriented and nearly drowned.
After some exhaustive research, I have concluded that the best cheese to grate and stir into baked beans is: Red Leicester.
Yum, seriously.
Yum, seriously.
January 1, 2026 at 2:23 PM
After some exhaustive research, I have concluded that the best cheese to grate and stir into baked beans is: Red Leicester.
Yum, seriously.
Yum, seriously.
Reposted by Mary C
Hoping that 2026 will be the year that people the world over realise that putting despicable, venal narcissists into power simply does not benefit the little guy even by accident.
December 31, 2025 at 11:21 PM
Hoping that 2026 will be the year that people the world over realise that putting despicable, venal narcissists into power simply does not benefit the little guy even by accident.
Ha. Am already at my length, in bed, determined to thwart the new year, which will be a valuable lesson to it.
May we soon all get to live in uninteresting times.
May we soon all get to live in uninteresting times.
December 31, 2025 at 11:08 PM
Ha. Am already at my length, in bed, determined to thwart the new year, which will be a valuable lesson to it.
May we soon all get to live in uninteresting times.
May we soon all get to live in uninteresting times.
🥺 I love Calvin and Hobbes. Have all the collection books and they are my phone lock screen.
The final Calvin and Hobbes, which appeared in papers 30 years ago today.
December 31, 2025 at 9:34 PM
🥺 I love Calvin and Hobbes. Have all the collection books and they are my phone lock screen.
Reposted by Mary C
once again: the onion called it
December 31, 2025 at 8:07 PM
once again: the onion called it
Do you know the Deep Heat patches you can get for your back? Why can’t they make one for your *whole* back?
I’m basically just moving a selection of gnarls from point to point here.
(Don’t suggest a bath, I’m not a bath person. Lying in my own debris getting postural hypotension is a no from me.)
I’m basically just moving a selection of gnarls from point to point here.
(Don’t suggest a bath, I’m not a bath person. Lying in my own debris getting postural hypotension is a no from me.)
December 31, 2025 at 8:16 PM
Do you know the Deep Heat patches you can get for your back? Why can’t they make one for your *whole* back?
I’m basically just moving a selection of gnarls from point to point here.
(Don’t suggest a bath, I’m not a bath person. Lying in my own debris getting postural hypotension is a no from me.)
I’m basically just moving a selection of gnarls from point to point here.
(Don’t suggest a bath, I’m not a bath person. Lying in my own debris getting postural hypotension is a no from me.)
This. Consider asking about painkillers which should be reissued (original formula feminax and original formula Syndol).
Men have no idea (or get the good stuff from GPs the first time they ask?).
Men have no idea (or get the good stuff from GPs the first time they ask?).
If you are a straight man in Ireland and a bit shy and awkward about breaking the ice with a gal you'd like to talk to, here's a tip. Every woman in Ireland is an amateur pharmacist (except for the actual pharmacists), a sommelier of painkillers. Ask her about painkillers and she will talk to you.
December 29, 2025 at 2:30 PM
This. Consider asking about painkillers which should be reissued (original formula feminax and original formula Syndol).
Men have no idea (or get the good stuff from GPs the first time they ask?).
Men have no idea (or get the good stuff from GPs the first time they ask?).
Reposted by Mary C
And a good morning to everyone reading the “later life” section of Brigitte Bardot’s wikipedia page for the first time
December 28, 2025 at 10:29 AM
And a good morning to everyone reading the “later life” section of Brigitte Bardot’s wikipedia page for the first time
I feel that I should probably spend the day eating nothing but soup and Christmas cake.
One as an attempt at nutrition, the other for digestive encouragement.
One as an attempt at nutrition, the other for digestive encouragement.
December 28, 2025 at 12:58 PM
I feel that I should probably spend the day eating nothing but soup and Christmas cake.
One as an attempt at nutrition, the other for digestive encouragement.
One as an attempt at nutrition, the other for digestive encouragement.
I have quite a stately older gentleman as a far neighbour and he has been strolling about over the last few days.
Today was the third time he has seen me, in my pyjamas, wrestling with an irate mini Shetland as I squirt steroids down her throat with a calpol syringe.
Today was the third time he has seen me, in my pyjamas, wrestling with an irate mini Shetland as I squirt steroids down her throat with a calpol syringe.
December 28, 2025 at 12:46 PM
I have quite a stately older gentleman as a far neighbour and he has been strolling about over the last few days.
Today was the third time he has seen me, in my pyjamas, wrestling with an irate mini Shetland as I squirt steroids down her throat with a calpol syringe.
Today was the third time he has seen me, in my pyjamas, wrestling with an irate mini Shetland as I squirt steroids down her throat with a calpol syringe.
I got my house deep cleaned a few years back under threat of American visitors. The professional cleaning crew all had Henries.
I also have one and it is a solid wee workhorse with no moral itchiness attached.
I also have one and it is a solid wee workhorse with no moral itchiness attached.
Reminder that Henry Hoovers are made in Britain by a unionised workforce
He sucks
December 27, 2025 at 4:53 PM
I got my house deep cleaned a few years back under threat of American visitors. The professional cleaning crew all had Henries.
I also have one and it is a solid wee workhorse with no moral itchiness attached.
I also have one and it is a solid wee workhorse with no moral itchiness attached.
The moon is very cool tonight but, as usual, resists phone photography
December 26, 2025 at 11:04 PM
The moon is very cool tonight but, as usual, resists phone photography