Michael J Swart
@mjswart.bsky.social
Climbing out of a car after a long drive is like that guy getting out of a glass box on That’s Incredible.
August 17, 2025 at 3:58 AM
Climbing out of a car after a long drive is like that guy getting out of a glass box on That’s Incredible.
Benson Boone and James Taylor are opposites.
June 24, 2025 at 10:43 PM
Benson Boone and James Taylor are opposites.
Crabapple tree blossoms in May.
May 15, 2025 at 12:19 AM
Crabapple tree blossoms in May.
Reposted by Michael J Swart
When humans look at something we find beautiful it causes dopamine release in our brains & looking at plants shifts our brain activity away from fight or flight & into rest & digest mode.
A field of phacelia, Norfolk:
A field of phacelia, Norfolk:
May 14, 2025 at 2:11 PM
When humans look at something we find beautiful it causes dopamine release in our brains & looking at plants shifts our brain activity away from fight or flight & into rest & digest mode.
A field of phacelia, Norfolk:
A field of phacelia, Norfolk:
Everything I do, I’m always “raising the bar”. Sometimes the analogy is high jump. Sometimes the analogy is limbo.
April 3, 2025 at 7:57 PM
Everything I do, I’m always “raising the bar”. Sometimes the analogy is high jump. Sometimes the analogy is limbo.
Reposted by Michael J Swart
Good Lord, America.
Come pick up Grandpa
Come pick up Grandpa
March 5, 2025 at 9:15 PM
Good Lord, America.
Come pick up Grandpa
Come pick up Grandpa
Reposted by Michael J Swart
I can't speak for you lot but I for one am very tired.
March 5, 2025 at 4:41 PM
I can't speak for you lot but I for one am very tired.
Reposted by Michael J Swart
Sometimes we all need someone who will give us a little kick in the pants to keep us moving. But few of them can do it as cutely as Woodstock.
February 27, 2025 at 12:56 AM
Sometimes we all need someone who will give us a little kick in the pants to keep us moving. But few of them can do it as cutely as Woodstock.
Reposted by Michael J Swart
By age 45 you should have:
• A favorite chair
• Dangerously high cholesterol
• Shirts older than some of your coworkers
• Constant but manageable despair
• Reported a scrolling “Select Your Birth Year” wheel as a hate crime
• Lost the ability to recognize that 1999 wasn’t, like, last year
• A favorite chair
• Dangerously high cholesterol
• Shirts older than some of your coworkers
• Constant but manageable despair
• Reported a scrolling “Select Your Birth Year” wheel as a hate crime
• Lost the ability to recognize that 1999 wasn’t, like, last year
February 20, 2025 at 2:08 PM
By age 45 you should have:
• A favorite chair
• Dangerously high cholesterol
• Shirts older than some of your coworkers
• Constant but manageable despair
• Reported a scrolling “Select Your Birth Year” wheel as a hate crime
• Lost the ability to recognize that 1999 wasn’t, like, last year
• A favorite chair
• Dangerously high cholesterol
• Shirts older than some of your coworkers
• Constant but manageable despair
• Reported a scrolling “Select Your Birth Year” wheel as a hate crime
• Lost the ability to recognize that 1999 wasn’t, like, last year
Reposted by Michael J Swart
No they don’t. Canada and Mexico want none of this. They want the president of the United States to respect and abide by the trade treaty he negotiated with them - and not make up bogus pretexts for plunging us all into a gratuitous no win economic debacle.
February 2, 2025 at 6:44 PM
No they don’t. Canada and Mexico want none of this. They want the president of the United States to respect and abide by the trade treaty he negotiated with them - and not make up bogus pretexts for plunging us all into a gratuitous no win economic debacle.
Reposted by Michael J Swart
Scientists figured out the language of whales. Mostly it’s blubbering.
January 30, 2025 at 11:00 AM
Scientists figured out the language of whales. Mostly it’s blubbering.
It’s 8 o’clock somewhere.
January 26, 2025 at 11:55 PM
It’s 8 o’clock somewhere.
Reposted by Michael J Swart
Lord of the Rings, Lord of the Pommel Horse, Lord of the Parallel Bars, Lord of the All-Around
January 21, 2025 at 7:20 PM
Lord of the Rings, Lord of the Pommel Horse, Lord of the Parallel Bars, Lord of the All-Around
Quiet (for the moment) at Elmira curling club.
January 13, 2025 at 10:51 PM
Quiet (for the moment) at Elmira curling club.
Reposted by Michael J Swart
Job duties for prod DBAs, dev DBAs, and developers: www.brentozar.com/archive/2018... This comes up with clients all the time. Generally for every 20 developers you have who've never been to database training, you need 1 dev DBA to act as a force multiplier and to help clean up the mess.
Job Duties for Database Developers, Development DBAs, and Production DBAs - Brent Ozar Unlimited®
At the start of my classes and calls, I ask folks to introduce themselves – not by what it says on their email signature, but by the kind of tasks they spend most of their time on. Here’s what I show ...
www.brentozar.com
January 7, 2025 at 12:34 PM
Job duties for prod DBAs, dev DBAs, and developers: www.brentozar.com/archive/2018... This comes up with clients all the time. Generally for every 20 developers you have who've never been to database training, you need 1 dev DBA to act as a force multiplier and to help clean up the mess.
Read data from deleted columns
michaeljswart.com/2025/01/read...
michaeljswart.com/2025/01/read...
Read data from deleted columns | Michael J. Swart
It's hard to destroy data. Even when a column is dropped, the data is still physically there on the data page. We can use the undocumented/unsupported command DBCC PAGE to look at it. Example First, c...
michaeljswart.com
January 6, 2025 at 9:45 PM
Read data from deleted columns
michaeljswart.com/2025/01/read...
michaeljswart.com/2025/01/read...
Muskoka Brewery. It’s not an urban brewery. It’s a rural brewery.
December 21, 2024 at 6:26 PM
Muskoka Brewery. It’s not an urban brewery. It’s a rural brewery.
Must be nice in Vermont this time of year, all that snow.
December 19, 2024 at 11:23 PM
Must be nice in Vermont this time of year, all that snow.
Reposted by Michael J Swart
Re: Polio
I grew up in rural America in the 80s where Polio hasn't quite been eradicated. I think it's ridiculous that people want to bring us back to that time.
I grew up in rural America in the 80s where Polio hasn't quite been eradicated. I think it's ridiculous that people want to bring us back to that time.
December 14, 2024 at 4:16 AM
Re: Polio
I grew up in rural America in the 80s where Polio hasn't quite been eradicated. I think it's ridiculous that people want to bring us back to that time.
I grew up in rural America in the 80s where Polio hasn't quite been eradicated. I think it's ridiculous that people want to bring us back to that time.
Christmas shopping!
From the right point of view it looks like the store is named Swart
From the right point of view it looks like the store is named Swart
December 13, 2024 at 8:47 PM
Christmas shopping!
From the right point of view it looks like the store is named Swart
From the right point of view it looks like the store is named Swart
Actors playing Scrooge:
Alastair Sim was 51
George C Scott was 54
Michael Caine 59
That seems younger than I would have guessed
Alastair Sim was 51
George C Scott was 54
Michael Caine 59
That seems younger than I would have guessed
December 4, 2024 at 2:44 AM
Actors playing Scrooge:
Alastair Sim was 51
George C Scott was 54
Michael Caine 59
That seems younger than I would have guessed
Alastair Sim was 51
George C Scott was 54
Michael Caine 59
That seems younger than I would have guessed
Reposted by Michael J Swart
After tumblr died but before it was declared dead*, the site became mostly a Pig Wrestling** platform.
* Tumblr is actually very much alive and quite cool now.
** As in the old adage, Never wrestle with a pig. You get dirty and the pig likes it.
Anyway, twitter has entered its Pig Wrestling Era.
* Tumblr is actually very much alive and quite cool now.
** As in the old adage, Never wrestle with a pig. You get dirty and the pig likes it.
Anyway, twitter has entered its Pig Wrestling Era.
December 1, 2024 at 3:03 PM
After tumblr died but before it was declared dead*, the site became mostly a Pig Wrestling** platform.
* Tumblr is actually very much alive and quite cool now.
** As in the old adage, Never wrestle with a pig. You get dirty and the pig likes it.
Anyway, twitter has entered its Pig Wrestling Era.
* Tumblr is actually very much alive and quite cool now.
** As in the old adage, Never wrestle with a pig. You get dirty and the pig likes it.
Anyway, twitter has entered its Pig Wrestling Era.
Reposted by Michael J Swart
computer scientists: we have invented a virtual dumbass who is constantly wrong
tech CEOs: let's add it to every product
tech CEOs: let's add it to every product
May 31, 2024 at 10:27 PM
computer scientists: we have invented a virtual dumbass who is constantly wrong
tech CEOs: let's add it to every product
tech CEOs: let's add it to every product