John ... seriously? ...
@pimpmyyugo.bsky.social
... too old, too white, too Catholic ... this is my core dump. there are many like it but this one is mine ...
history or evidence, depending: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:4opuc67uf4ezeczfwnonlmu3/feed/aaaee2vyk7jh6
history or evidence, depending: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:4opuc67uf4ezeczfwnonlmu3/feed/aaaee2vyk7jh6
Pinned
... I sent a saliva sample to Cologuard and a stool sample to ancestry.com. and now, we wait ...
Reposted by John ... seriously? ...
Time for the best Christmas post
December 25, 2025 at 4:27 PM
Time for the best Christmas post
Reposted by John ... seriously? ...
“Know what I got for Hanukkah?”
“What?”
“A new vacuum cleaner.”
“Well, that sounds nice!”
“Eh, it’ll probably just gather dust.”
“Haha! Good one, Morty!”
“Thanks, Irving.”
“You should go tell Saul that one.”
“Good idea! Be right back.”
“What?”
“A new vacuum cleaner.”
“Well, that sounds nice!”
“Eh, it’ll probably just gather dust.”
“Haha! Good one, Morty!”
“Thanks, Irving.”
“You should go tell Saul that one.”
“Good idea! Be right back.”
December 21, 2025 at 6:53 PM
“Know what I got for Hanukkah?”
“What?”
“A new vacuum cleaner.”
“Well, that sounds nice!”
“Eh, it’ll probably just gather dust.”
“Haha! Good one, Morty!”
“Thanks, Irving.”
“You should go tell Saul that one.”
“Good idea! Be right back.”
“What?”
“A new vacuum cleaner.”
“Well, that sounds nice!”
“Eh, it’ll probably just gather dust.”
“Haha! Good one, Morty!”
“Thanks, Irving.”
“You should go tell Saul that one.”
“Good idea! Be right back.”
... establish dominance by using "f*ckin'" in place of the decimal point. for example:"HOW much? eleven f*ckin' ninety-seven???" ...
December 21, 2025 at 5:52 PM
... establish dominance by using "f*ckin'" in place of the decimal point. for example:"HOW much? eleven f*ckin' ninety-seven???" ...
... gonna try out a new pickup line tonight: "hi, you must be from France, because you will surrender to me."
wish me luck ...
wish me luck ...
December 20, 2025 at 7:57 PM
... gonna try out a new pickup line tonight: "hi, you must be from France, because you will surrender to me."
wish me luck ...
wish me luck ...
Reposted by John ... seriously? ...
why not put count von count into various vampire scenes: thread
December 20, 2025 at 4:17 PM
why not put count von count into various vampire scenes: thread
... just saw that 5 users have blocked me and the most recent was all the way back in September. I gotta that number up ...
December 13, 2025 at 2:49 AM
... just saw that 5 users have blocked me and the most recent was all the way back in September. I gotta that number up ...
Reposted by John ... seriously? ...
Me: “I swear officer it’s my deodorant!”
Cop: “Tell it to the judge.”
Cop: “Tell it to the judge.”
December 12, 2025 at 2:28 PM
Me: “I swear officer it’s my deodorant!”
Cop: “Tell it to the judge.”
Cop: “Tell it to the judge.”
Reposted by John ... seriously? ...
Someone texted me “Let’s go get drunks” & I honestly don’t know whether they want to:
a) get drinks
b) get drunk
c) abduct alcoholics
a) get drinks
b) get drunk
c) abduct alcoholics
December 12, 2025 at 7:21 PM
Someone texted me “Let’s go get drunks” & I honestly don’t know whether they want to:
a) get drinks
b) get drunk
c) abduct alcoholics
a) get drinks
b) get drunk
c) abduct alcoholics
Reposted by John ... seriously? ...
The last time I withdrew cash from the ATM, it asked what denominations I wanted so I chose Baptist, Methodist and Presbyterian.
December 10, 2025 at 12:04 AM
The last time I withdrew cash from the ATM, it asked what denominations I wanted so I chose Baptist, Methodist and Presbyterian.
Reposted by John ... seriously? ...
A boomer walks into a bar and then seconds later, forgets why he walked in there.
December 10, 2025 at 4:09 AM
A boomer walks into a bar and then seconds later, forgets why he walked in there.
Reposted by John ... seriously? ...
Me: Do you need a reboot?
My computer:
My computer:
a cartoon of spongebob squarepants sitting in a red chair .
ALT: a cartoon of spongebob squarepants sitting in a red chair .
media.tenor.com
December 10, 2025 at 12:16 PM
Me: Do you need a reboot?
My computer:
My computer:
Reposted by John ... seriously? ...
A quick rundown of what it actually means to be an introvert 👇
What Is an Introvert? | A Quick Rundown
YouTube video by All About Introverts
www.youtube.com
December 9, 2025 at 10:46 PM
A quick rundown of what it actually means to be an introvert 👇
... my neighbor's rooster was crowing at 10AM, over 3 hours after sunrise.
his cock was running slow ...
his cock was running slow ...
December 10, 2025 at 3:03 PM
... my neighbor's rooster was crowing at 10AM, over 3 hours after sunrise.
his cock was running slow ...
his cock was running slow ...
Reposted by John ... seriously? ...
I don’t believe I’ve had the pleasure.
Or, like, literally any pleasure.
Or, like, literally any pleasure.
December 9, 2025 at 11:13 PM
I don’t believe I’ve had the pleasure.
Or, like, literally any pleasure.
Or, like, literally any pleasure.
... an older female co-worker was by the freight door and saw a younger female who she thought wanted to take something outside. the older woman had the door key and asked the young woman, "do you want to go out?" the younger woman said, "thanks but I'm in a relationship." ...
(true story/dad joke)
(true story/dad joke)
December 9, 2025 at 2:19 PM
... an older female co-worker was by the freight door and saw a younger female who she thought wanted to take something outside. the older woman had the door key and asked the young woman, "do you want to go out?" the younger woman said, "thanks but I'm in a relationship." ...
(true story/dad joke)
(true story/dad joke)
Reposted by John ... seriously? ...
iconic art with a holiday twist: thread
December 6, 2025 at 1:08 AM
iconic art with a holiday twist: thread
Reposted by John ... seriously? ...
My barista looked me up and down like she was scanning a QR code for, “Why?”
December 6, 2025 at 11:53 AM
My barista looked me up and down like she was scanning a QR code for, “Why?”
... you know you're old when your mating call is "cramp Cramp! CRAMP!!!" ...
December 5, 2025 at 1:51 PM
... you know you're old when your mating call is "cramp Cramp! CRAMP!!!" ...
... an old woman walked past me in the market today wearing a sweatshirt that said "spoiled". her boobs were so saggy, I think her milk expired in the 90s ...
December 2, 2025 at 6:31 PM
... an old woman walked past me in the market today wearing a sweatshirt that said "spoiled". her boobs were so saggy, I think her milk expired in the 90s ...
Reposted by John ... seriously? ...
Suuuuure, NOW 4 inches is a lot 😂
November 30, 2025 at 3:18 PM
Suuuuure, NOW 4 inches is a lot 😂
Reposted by John ... seriously? ...
they’re taking all the sport out of holiday shopping
November 29, 2025 at 11:30 PM
they’re taking all the sport out of holiday shopping
Reposted by John ... seriously? ...
Woman Realizes Adorable Rescue Is A Coyote Pup After It Orders Dynamite Detonator Off The Internet
November 29, 2025 at 4:20 AM
Woman Realizes Adorable Rescue Is A Coyote Pup After It Orders Dynamite Detonator Off The Internet
... then there was the guy who rode the bus to the brothel and told the driver "this is where I get off." ...
November 29, 2025 at 7:20 PM
... then there was the guy who rode the bus to the brothel and told the driver "this is where I get off." ...
... I heard that DJT is going to donate $100M in Jeffery Epstein's name to any university that will rename itself Bring-em Young ...
November 29, 2025 at 7:10 PM
... I heard that DJT is going to donate $100M in Jeffery Epstein's name to any university that will rename itself Bring-em Young ...
Reposted by John ... seriously? ...
For some reason, having fuller lips after high school graduation is important to our daughter so this fall we've been taking her around to look at collagens.
November 29, 2025 at 6:29 PM
For some reason, having fuller lips after high school graduation is important to our daughter so this fall we've been taking her around to look at collagens.