Milwaukee Bucks:

- already had to break up Dame/Giannis/Middleton
- would be starting the playoffs on the road if the season ended today
- lose by 10+ to every real contender they play
- Doc Rivers
- Dame can leave after 2026
- Giannis can leave after 2027
- Blazers control their 2028-2030 drafts

let my story be told: in 2022 Hollywood mogul Terry Bradshaw sold me authentic cuban cigars that turned out to be Really hard pieces of poop

Taking The Substance that turns you into Conan

nextdoor started sending me daily email digests i never asked for, but i'm really glad they did. someone just posted a photo of a parked car with a door open like "hey heads up in case this is your car." someone asked if they closed it. they said "no, because what if i close it and the car explodes"

free palestine

I feel like so many people are going to now watch Anora thinking it’s a weighty, super dramatic, nigh-inaccessible work of Shakespearean art, and forty minutes in when it’s still been nothing but a bunch of 21 year old dipshits partying and getting shitfaced they’ll wonder if they got the name wrong

As someone who spends a lot time thinking about the values I want to teach my kid (besides PLEASE DON’T EAT DIRT), the thing I keep coming back to is this: I want him to believe that the strongest, bravest thing he can do is give a shit about other people—especially ones who aren’t like him at all.

people in the replies to this are getting into arguments so heated that they're blocking each other. some say we need sports to distract people like these, but sports are for intellectuals. maybe we could reboot the west wing for them or something

there’s no way to cut $880 Billion out of Medicaid spending over the next decade that doesn’t involve people dying from lack of healthcare coverage, so there’s no way to describe this other than Republicans paying for billionaire tax breaks with literal blood.

I honestly think LeBron and Kenan Thompson both really really want to retire but they made a longevity bet back in October 2003 and neither guy wants to blink first

whenever young people ask me for advice, i always recommend that they carry some cash on them. it's easy to understand why they don't, since almost everything now can be bought with a credit card or a mobile app. but what it means for me is that they're more difficult to hold up and rob in the park

we don’t have to imagine anymore this is real life

My son is afraid a hummingbird might rip through his body at 9000mph. Can any professionals on here tell him he is stupid and full of shit

One time at Karate Class the Sensei got in BIG trouble for getting a Boner and the Guy who owned the Dojo bought us Ice Cream to Not Tell our Parents !!

I know “what’s on your mind” hate to see me coming

thank you to Kendrick and the Eagles for making terrible people angry tonight

It looks like Kendrick has won for now but sources tell me Drake has a devastating rebuttal planned for his performance at the Kids’ Choice Awards

Watch but shake your head all the time so people know you don't agree

Whatever you choose it's Go Birds