Sardonicious
sardonicious.bsky.social
Sardonicious
@sardonicious.bsky.social
Pinned
By coincidence, Jizz Lane was the name of the street I lived on during my teenage years, but it was pronounced “Ga-lane”
Didn’t have “this is free speech but you shouldn’t be employed anywhere if you’re going to say that” on my fascism bingo card

x.com/acyn/status/...
September 16, 2025 at 4:00 AM
Worst death imaginable for an Italian: “contaminated guacamole”
August 21, 2025 at 12:13 PM
Someone in Nebraska loves you,
You’ve got an enemy in Pennsylvania,
and if Netflix is any clue,
Someone you know in Montana is a murderer
i keep missing the pre-orders so when. this came up on depop i had to buy it.
August 17, 2025 at 6:24 AM
Reposted by Sardonicious
son: your dad jokes are stupid
me: they're not "technically" dad jokes
son: what do you mean?
maury: *clears throat*
August 9, 2025 at 1:42 AM
Reposted by Sardonicious
It can only ever get more insane the moment a government gets in the business of deciding who gets to look a certain way in public. The law will only get more and more absurd and contradictory.
This is legitimately insane. It's not an exaggeration to say this is actually a full on bathroom ban for trans people because they're banned from using spaces of their sex assigned at birth too!
August 8, 2025 at 3:40 PM
The best part? It will only cost one billion quintillion kajillion dollars (a real figure)

flip.it/f9s.N2
Proposed spacecraft could carry up to 2,400 people on a one-way trip to the nearest star system, Alpha Centauri
The design for a 36 mile long spacecraft, called Chrysalis, includes libraries, tropical forests and structural manufacturing facilities, all supported by artificial gravity.
flip.it
August 8, 2025 at 7:47 AM
Reposted by Sardonicious
By coincidence, Jizz Lane was the name of the street I lived on during my teenage years, but it was pronounced “Ga-lane”
July 17, 2025 at 2:06 PM
Why indeed?
July 14, 2025 at 5:53 PM
An *MRNA* vaccine developed by *Israeli* scientists?!

This won’t lead to any conspiracy theories at all…
July 14, 2025 at 3:43 PM
Reposted by Sardonicious
Pssst… I’m starting to think Bob might not be Mr. Vylan’s real name…
July 7, 2025 at 11:05 PM
Reposted by Sardonicious
If they didn’t want to be ambushed, beaten, kidnapped, robbed, confined in squalor, starved, framed as criminals, separated from their children, tortured, and sent empty-handed into an active war zone on a continent they’ve never visited before, then they should never have come to this country!
June 29, 2025 at 7:14 PM
Reposted by Sardonicious
In Russia, whistleblower “accidentally” fall out window
In USA, whistleblower “tragically” commit suicide
June 9, 2025 at 2:18 PM
Reposted by Sardonicious
It’s because all the kids are going to Harvard and majoring in Lesbian instead of going to a trade school and learning banana construction.
June 5, 2025 at 5:32 PM
The mainstream media, the pharmaceutical industry, OSHA, the fire department, the Deep State, and the Toxic Substances Control Act of 1976 don’t want you to know about the health benefits of drinking hydrofluoric acid
This dude's breath must smell like a dying horse who lives at a Taco Bell.
May 31, 2025 at 5:28 PM
Reposted by Sardonicious
i don’t think the way to persuade women to have more children is to have a possessed baby floating around their home
May 26, 2025 at 12:10 AM
Reposted by Sardonicious
A lucky few foreign children will be selected for an all-expenses paid trip to Libya, where they will use their OM skills to (a) construct an eye mask out of dust and cigarette butts; and (b) dig a 727km tunnel under the Mediterranean to safety in Malta. What a great opportunity!
May 23, 2025 at 9:22 AM
“Secondary partners” sleep like lemurs by underclinging to the arch frame
Behold, per inbox, "the first ever bed design[ed] for non-monogamy": first of all, I'd say all beds work for non-monogamy; second, good god look at it
May 18, 2025 at 4:34 AM
Reposted by Sardonicious
This brazen attack on a treasured American landmark must not go unanswered. The US must immediately respond in kind, by crashing a 1908 Model T overloaded with American soldiers into the Alamo…
May 18, 2025 at 4:19 AM
Reposted by Sardonicious
Peter Thiel really been growing JD Vance clones in his lab!
This one was defective, deactivation imminent…
#haleyjoelosment
Since Bowen Yang is tired of playing JD Vance on SNL.... I present Haley Joel Osmet who did it a few times in viral videos.
May 11, 2025 at 3:41 AM