G Bird
@shoeslikecanoes.bsky.social
I’m a 7.5. Maybe an 8.
42/NJ/Please Don’t DM me 😎
42/NJ/Please Don’t DM me 😎
Pinned
G Bird
@shoeslikecanoes.bsky.social
· May 2
I’m so hungry right now that my idea of S&M is spaghetti and meatballs.
Reposted by G Bird
Reposted by G Bird
Boots with the fir
-Santa
-Santa
November 29, 2023 at 3:45 PM
Boots with the fir
-Santa
-Santa
She’s a 10, but her haircut makes her look like Steve Irwin.
December 23, 2025 at 8:36 PM
She’s a 10, but her haircut makes her look like Steve Irwin.
Going to get a colonic gift certificate for that special someone in the office.
December 22, 2025 at 5:20 PM
Going to get a colonic gift certificate for that special someone in the office.
Reposted by G Bird
I adore a truly old-fashioned Christmas. That's why I go full vintage, using pure asbestos for that authentic fake snow sparkle
December 20, 2025 at 11:30 PM
I adore a truly old-fashioned Christmas. That's why I go full vintage, using pure asbestos for that authentic fake snow sparkle
She’s a 10, but doesn’t take her Christmas tree down until February.
December 22, 2025 at 2:54 PM
She’s a 10, but doesn’t take her Christmas tree down until February.
“They’re not right for each other.”
-Me, watching porn
-Me, watching porn
December 19, 2025 at 2:19 PM
“They’re not right for each other.”
-Me, watching porn
-Me, watching porn
I had tech neck before it was cool
December 19, 2025 at 2:12 AM
I had tech neck before it was cool
Reposted by G Bird
8,728 Red Bulls later and not a single wing. Fourteen strokes though.
December 17, 2025 at 12:14 AM
8,728 Red Bulls later and not a single wing. Fourteen strokes though.
My wife says I’m the funniest person she knows. I might celebrate with a teardrop (of joy) tattoo on my cheek. 😎
December 14, 2025 at 5:49 PM
My wife says I’m the funniest person she knows. I might celebrate with a teardrop (of joy) tattoo on my cheek. 😎
I wonder what tub girl thinks of Indiana’s failed redistricting bill.
December 13, 2025 at 3:39 PM
I wonder what tub girl thinks of Indiana’s failed redistricting bill.
Reposted by G Bird
I cannot imagine the heartbreak of finding out that the person you love listens to The Doors.
December 11, 2025 at 5:45 PM
I cannot imagine the heartbreak of finding out that the person you love listens to The Doors.
A Hallmark movie where the girl discovers the true meaning of Christmas after her third egg nog.
December 10, 2025 at 4:06 AM
A Hallmark movie where the girl discovers the true meaning of Christmas after her third egg nog.
Just opened up the freezer at work and found this baby.
December 7, 2025 at 4:15 PM
Just opened up the freezer at work and found this baby.
Reposted by G Bird
If an alien ever abducted me I feel like I'd get the one that's bad at their job
December 7, 2025 at 5:21 AM
If an alien ever abducted me I feel like I'd get the one that's bad at their job
I call it: ‘Freezing in front of an abandoned house’
December 6, 2025 at 9:18 PM
I call it: ‘Freezing in front of an abandoned house’
"If it should be done, it must be done" is your Mom’s favorite sentiment about duty, justice, and playing hide the wiener.
December 5, 2025 at 7:43 PM
"If it should be done, it must be done" is your Mom’s favorite sentiment about duty, justice, and playing hide the wiener.
Reposted by G Bird
The great thing about having a bad memory is that you learn new things all the time.
December 1, 2025 at 10:58 PM
The great thing about having a bad memory is that you learn new things all the time.
“I’m so bad ass!”
-Me, getting the trash to the curb 30 seconds before the trash truck rolls by.
-Me, getting the trash to the curb 30 seconds before the trash truck rolls by.
December 5, 2025 at 2:01 AM
“I’m so bad ass!”
-Me, getting the trash to the curb 30 seconds before the trash truck rolls by.
-Me, getting the trash to the curb 30 seconds before the trash truck rolls by.
The real nightmare before Christmas is me going into the attic to get decorations and getting hurt n the process.
December 4, 2025 at 9:37 PM
The real nightmare before Christmas is me going into the attic to get decorations and getting hurt n the process.
Alright, let’s hear it 😎
December 3, 2025 at 6:43 PM
Alright, let’s hear it 😎
Uno reverse cowgirl
December 1, 2025 at 3:05 AM
Uno reverse cowgirl
The 'Scared Straight' program, but it's me looking at my checking account balance.
December 1, 2025 at 3:04 AM
The 'Scared Straight' program, but it's me looking at my checking account balance.
Reposted by G Bird
The 'Scared Straight' program, except it's me stepping on the scale the day after Thanksgiving.
November 28, 2025 at 4:39 PM
The 'Scared Straight' program, except it's me stepping on the scale the day after Thanksgiving.