SLapstick Roberts
@slapstickroberts.bsky.social
Pinned
I cast Shut Up at your mom’s level
Reposted by SLapstick Roberts
This is the 38th time that the U.S. military has unlawfully killed civilians on the orders of Pete Hegseth and Donald Trump. At least 130 people — never charged with crimes, their identities unknown to their executioners — are now dead.
We are murdering people and it is basically just background noise at this point. www.nytimes.com/2026/02/09/u...
U.S. Boat Strike Kills 2 in Pacific, With One Survivor
www.nytimes.com
February 10, 2026 at 11:29 AM
This is the 38th time that the U.S. military has unlawfully killed civilians on the orders of Pete Hegseth and Donald Trump. At least 130 people — never charged with crimes, their identities unknown to their executioners — are now dead.
Really enjoying the olympic ice skating rhythm dancing.
The theme is 90’s apparently, but the competitors are too young to remember. So lemme offer a free win condition:
Perform to “Free Your Mind” by En Vogue. Then don’t worry about points. Just work. Mouth the words to the camera.
You win life
The theme is 90’s apparently, but the competitors are too young to remember. So lemme offer a free win condition:
Perform to “Free Your Mind” by En Vogue. Then don’t worry about points. Just work. Mouth the words to the camera.
You win life
February 10, 2026 at 10:20 AM
Really enjoying the olympic ice skating rhythm dancing.
The theme is 90’s apparently, but the competitors are too young to remember. So lemme offer a free win condition:
Perform to “Free Your Mind” by En Vogue. Then don’t worry about points. Just work. Mouth the words to the camera.
You win life
The theme is 90’s apparently, but the competitors are too young to remember. So lemme offer a free win condition:
Perform to “Free Your Mind” by En Vogue. Then don’t worry about points. Just work. Mouth the words to the camera.
You win life
Isn’t it weird that curling has a titular activity, and they often frantically yell it at each other? Does any other sport do that?
Like, nobody’s every shouting “Hockey, do hockey now!”
Or like, that one sport with the shotguns, you never hear “Pull!” “Ahhhh, SKEET SKEET SKEET SKEET SKEET SKEET!”
Like, nobody’s every shouting “Hockey, do hockey now!”
Or like, that one sport with the shotguns, you never hear “Pull!” “Ahhhh, SKEET SKEET SKEET SKEET SKEET SKEET!”
February 10, 2026 at 3:20 AM
Isn’t it weird that curling has a titular activity, and they often frantically yell it at each other? Does any other sport do that?
Like, nobody’s every shouting “Hockey, do hockey now!”
Or like, that one sport with the shotguns, you never hear “Pull!” “Ahhhh, SKEET SKEET SKEET SKEET SKEET SKEET!”
Like, nobody’s every shouting “Hockey, do hockey now!”
Or like, that one sport with the shotguns, you never hear “Pull!” “Ahhhh, SKEET SKEET SKEET SKEET SKEET SKEET!”
Reposted by SLapstick Roberts
Good morning. The President of the United States was in the middle of the most serious child sex trafficking ring of the last quarter century.
He is referenced not a dozen times in the case files. Not 100 times. Not 1,000 times. He’s referenced 38,000 times.
He is referenced not a dozen times in the case files. Not 100 times. Not 1,000 times. He’s referenced 38,000 times.
February 8, 2026 at 7:50 PM
Good morning. The President of the United States was in the middle of the most serious child sex trafficking ring of the last quarter century.
He is referenced not a dozen times in the case files. Not 100 times. Not 1,000 times. He’s referenced 38,000 times.
He is referenced not a dozen times in the case files. Not 100 times. Not 1,000 times. He’s referenced 38,000 times.
These olympic athletes are truly amazing. The televised video evidence of their accomplishments is profoundly inspiring.
But, like, just think how much more amazing AI generated sports would be, right? No limit to the spins or speed or crazy air tricks that software can fake.
See the problem yet?
But, like, just think how much more amazing AI generated sports would be, right? No limit to the spins or speed or crazy air tricks that software can fake.
See the problem yet?
February 8, 2026 at 7:14 AM
These olympic athletes are truly amazing. The televised video evidence of their accomplishments is profoundly inspiring.
But, like, just think how much more amazing AI generated sports would be, right? No limit to the spins or speed or crazy air tricks that software can fake.
See the problem yet?
But, like, just think how much more amazing AI generated sports would be, right? No limit to the spins or speed or crazy air tricks that software can fake.
See the problem yet?
Reposted by SLapstick Roberts
Was driving my kids to school and the first thing on the radio was reporting about Trump's video depicting the Obamas as apes and I think many people still don't fully appreciate what it means to have to raise Black children in a country where the president is so brazenly and consistently racist
February 6, 2026 at 5:44 PM
Was driving my kids to school and the first thing on the radio was reporting about Trump's video depicting the Obamas as apes and I think many people still don't fully appreciate what it means to have to raise Black children in a country where the president is so brazenly and consistently racist
“Hey guys. So today I’m making this super easy and amazing 2-ingredient recipe that anybody can throw together in minutes. So good. Okay so to start, all you’ll need are these 12 ingredient, these half-dozen specific kitchen tools, and maybe an hour of dedicated manual labor. Like and subscribe.”
February 4, 2026 at 12:05 PM
“Hey guys. So today I’m making this super easy and amazing 2-ingredient recipe that anybody can throw together in minutes. So good. Okay so to start, all you’ll need are these 12 ingredient, these half-dozen specific kitchen tools, and maybe an hour of dedicated manual labor. Like and subscribe.”
As I was rolling over in bed just now, I took a chunk out of my nose with my fingernail. Because I am a highly evolved specimen.
February 3, 2026 at 12:29 PM
As I was rolling over in bed just now, I took a chunk out of my nose with my fingernail. Because I am a highly evolved specimen.
Reposted by SLapstick Roberts
President Trump has filed a lawsuit against the IRS, in which he demands that the IRS, which he as president controls, pay him $10 billion.
storage.courtlistener.com/recap/gov.us...
storage.courtlistener.com/recap/gov.us...
January 30, 2026 at 12:56 AM
President Trump has filed a lawsuit against the IRS, in which he demands that the IRS, which he as president controls, pay him $10 billion.
storage.courtlistener.com/recap/gov.us...
storage.courtlistener.com/recap/gov.us...
Reposted by SLapstick Roberts
It's near-white out conditions in Chicago as the snow comes down, and tonight's anti-ICE/CBP rally is wrapping up in front of city hall.
But not before the crowd bounces and chants, "I believe that we will win!"
But not before the crowd bounces and chants, "I believe that we will win!"
January 31, 2026 at 12:41 AM
It's near-white out conditions in Chicago as the snow comes down, and tonight's anti-ICE/CBP rally is wrapping up in front of city hall.
But not before the crowd bounces and chants, "I believe that we will win!"
But not before the crowd bounces and chants, "I believe that we will win!"
Reposted by SLapstick Roberts
Don't ever let anybody tell you you're stupid for mourning the death of an artist you didn't personally know. Sometimes artists really, really mean something to you. And it's deep and personal, and you DO feel like they're a part of you, and that's OK. That's what great art, the best art, does.❤️
January 30, 2026 at 7:13 PM
Don't ever let anybody tell you you're stupid for mourning the death of an artist you didn't personally know. Sometimes artists really, really mean something to you. And it's deep and personal, and you DO feel like they're a part of you, and that's OK. That's what great art, the best art, does.❤️
Somewhat unrelated:
Apple, tell me about changing a double tap on the space key from “insert a period” to “delete the last letter typed and fuck you.”
Please.
Apple, tell me about changing a double tap on the space key from “insert a period” to “delete the last letter typed and fuck you.”
Please.
January 27, 2026 at 11:01 AM
Somewhat unrelated:
Apple, tell me about changing a double tap on the space key from “insert a period” to “delete the last letter typed and fuck you.”
Please.
Apple, tell me about changing a double tap on the space key from “insert a period” to “delete the last letter typed and fuck you.”
Please.
“Other people don’t matter” should be immediately disqualifying for wealth and power.
This should be our first, and most scrupulous test, as a society.
It is not. And we all suffer the consequences.
This should be our first, and most scrupulous test, as a society.
It is not. And we all suffer the consequences.
January 27, 2026 at 10:59 AM
“Other people don’t matter” should be immediately disqualifying for wealth and power.
This should be our first, and most scrupulous test, as a society.
It is not. And we all suffer the consequences.
This should be our first, and most scrupulous test, as a society.
It is not. And we all suffer the consequences.
This is how stupid they think we are:
They’re going to rid us of “the worst of us” by arming and flooding our streets with the actual worst of us.
They’re going to rid us of “the worst of us” by arming and flooding our streets with the actual worst of us.
January 25, 2026 at 7:37 AM
This is how stupid they think we are:
They’re going to rid us of “the worst of us” by arming and flooding our streets with the actual worst of us.
They’re going to rid us of “the worst of us” by arming and flooding our streets with the actual worst of us.
Reposted by SLapstick Roberts
What's happening in Minnesota is one reason the Reconstruction Amendments banned insurrectionists from holding office. Unfortunately, the originalists on the Supreme Court interpreted the plain language of the amendment to mean its opposite.
January 24, 2026 at 11:31 PM
What's happening in Minnesota is one reason the Reconstruction Amendments banned insurrectionists from holding office. Unfortunately, the originalists on the Supreme Court interpreted the plain language of the amendment to mean its opposite.
There it is. There’s the priority. “Fuck those poor brown people, I’m scared of needles. Kill them to reassure me I’m safe.“
This is not subtle.
This is not subtle.
NEW: Kennedy's plan to study Hep. B vaccine in African babies has been suspended by Guinea-Bissau. Experts say the trial is unethical in a nation where 1 in 5 kids are exposed to Hep. B, which can take decades off their lives. HHS: the trial is "paused."
www.nytimes.com/2026/01/22/h...
www.nytimes.com/2026/01/22/h...
Kennedy Plan to Test a Vaccine in West African Babies Is Blocked
www.nytimes.com
January 23, 2026 at 11:58 AM
There it is. There’s the priority. “Fuck those poor brown people, I’m scared of needles. Kill them to reassure me I’m safe.“
This is not subtle.
This is not subtle.
I’ve seen claims that this cat is shameless.
No.
He is so absurdly prone to shame that he swaddles himself In sycophants and straight begs for approval.
Never been good at anything. Scared of everything. Pure greed and fear.
He’s weaker than us. His handlers are pathetic schemers. Let ‘em know.
No.
He is so absurdly prone to shame that he swaddles himself In sycophants and straight begs for approval.
Never been good at anything. Scared of everything. Pure greed and fear.
He’s weaker than us. His handlers are pathetic schemers. Let ‘em know.
January 23, 2026 at 11:38 AM
I’ve seen claims that this cat is shameless.
No.
He is so absurdly prone to shame that he swaddles himself In sycophants and straight begs for approval.
Never been good at anything. Scared of everything. Pure greed and fear.
He’s weaker than us. His handlers are pathetic schemers. Let ‘em know.
No.
He is so absurdly prone to shame that he swaddles himself In sycophants and straight begs for approval.
Never been good at anything. Scared of everything. Pure greed and fear.
He’s weaker than us. His handlers are pathetic schemers. Let ‘em know.
I feel like I’ve chosen the best art form, because it literally moves the world. My art can, theoretically, transmit forever, level skyscrapers, rattle your innards, profoundly touch your spouse, and backhand your progeny.
Consent strongly encouraged, but not needed.
Consent strongly encouraged, but not needed.
January 20, 2026 at 10:22 AM
I feel like I’ve chosen the best art form, because it literally moves the world. My art can, theoretically, transmit forever, level skyscrapers, rattle your innards, profoundly touch your spouse, and backhand your progeny.
Consent strongly encouraged, but not needed.
Consent strongly encouraged, but not needed.
“I AM THE MOST PEACEFUL PERSON IN THE ENTIRE WORLD AND I WILL SEND MY ARMY AFTER ANYONE WHO DOESN’T AGREE!”
January 19, 2026 at 11:10 PM
“I AM THE MOST PEACEFUL PERSON IN THE ENTIRE WORLD AND I WILL SEND MY ARMY AFTER ANYONE WHO DOESN’T AGREE!”
My bedroom suddenly smells like raw onions.
That seemed important to write a minute ago. Then I saw something else fucking insane in the news.
The overgrown baby is ripping everything apart out of spite for his constant diaper rash.
His enables clearly enjoy the smell of shit. I prefer onions
That seemed important to write a minute ago. Then I saw something else fucking insane in the news.
The overgrown baby is ripping everything apart out of spite for his constant diaper rash.
His enables clearly enjoy the smell of shit. I prefer onions
January 12, 2026 at 6:24 AM
My bedroom suddenly smells like raw onions.
That seemed important to write a minute ago. Then I saw something else fucking insane in the news.
The overgrown baby is ripping everything apart out of spite for his constant diaper rash.
His enables clearly enjoy the smell of shit. I prefer onions
That seemed important to write a minute ago. Then I saw something else fucking insane in the news.
The overgrown baby is ripping everything apart out of spite for his constant diaper rash.
His enables clearly enjoy the smell of shit. I prefer onions
Reposted by SLapstick Roberts
I am impeaching Secretary Kristi Noem, who is an incompetent leader and a disgrace to our democracy.
She wreaked havoc in the Chicagoland area and has brought her reign of terror to Minneapolis. One of her rogue ICE agents shot and killed an innocent woman today. It must come to an end.
She wreaked havoc in the Chicagoland area and has brought her reign of terror to Minneapolis. One of her rogue ICE agents shot and killed an innocent woman today. It must come to an end.
January 8, 2026 at 12:00 AM
I am impeaching Secretary Kristi Noem, who is an incompetent leader and a disgrace to our democracy.
She wreaked havoc in the Chicagoland area and has brought her reign of terror to Minneapolis. One of her rogue ICE agents shot and killed an innocent woman today. It must come to an end.
She wreaked havoc in the Chicagoland area and has brought her reign of terror to Minneapolis. One of her rogue ICE agents shot and killed an innocent woman today. It must come to an end.
My entire life, I’ve seen people complain about smelling like garlic.
I have finally built up enough character to push back.
Yo, garlic smells amazing. I enjoy smelling, and even smelling like, garlic. Garlic is delicious.
Is that the real issue? Do people worry about smelling too delicious?
I have finally built up enough character to push back.
Yo, garlic smells amazing. I enjoy smelling, and even smelling like, garlic. Garlic is delicious.
Is that the real issue? Do people worry about smelling too delicious?
January 6, 2026 at 9:27 AM
My entire life, I’ve seen people complain about smelling like garlic.
I have finally built up enough character to push back.
Yo, garlic smells amazing. I enjoy smelling, and even smelling like, garlic. Garlic is delicious.
Is that the real issue? Do people worry about smelling too delicious?
I have finally built up enough character to push back.
Yo, garlic smells amazing. I enjoy smelling, and even smelling like, garlic. Garlic is delicious.
Is that the real issue? Do people worry about smelling too delicious?
And this is who’s coming to break us up
The Golden Pheasant is here to bring some color to your day. This species inhabits mountainous forests in western China, spending most of its time on the shaded forest floor which protects its vibrant colors from fading in sunlight.
Photo: glenn_qy, CC BY-NC 4.0, iNaturalist
Photo: glenn_qy, CC BY-NC 4.0, iNaturalist
January 5, 2026 at 9:35 PM
And this is who’s coming to break us up
This is me
The, the, the... the grinch? Not exactly: This fuzzy green bird is Schalow's Turaco! This colorful, vocal species inhabits parts of south-central Africa. It finds its home in evergreen forests or woodlands, where it feeds on a diet of fruit.
Photo: lesbectrotters, CC BY-NC 4.0, iNaturalist
Photo: lesbectrotters, CC BY-NC 4.0, iNaturalist
December 20, 2025 at 8:08 PM
This is me