Monkey One
@vitruvianmonkey.bsky.social
Livin’ the farce, baby!
Reposted by Monkey One
happy turkey day
November 27, 2025 at 9:26 PM
happy turkey day
Sometimes it is ok to be too horny, and sometimes you are supposed to be an animal rights organization.
You’ll never shake me of the theory that says PETA is controlled opposition promulgated by the meat industry to sell more meat
November 27, 2025 at 10:20 PM
Sometimes it is ok to be too horny, and sometimes you are supposed to be an animal rights organization.
The quintessential Thanksgiving bite is one that gets turkey, dressing, and gravy in your mouth all at once, but it is a very delicate thing nevertheless.
November 27, 2025 at 8:06 PM
The quintessential Thanksgiving bite is one that gets turkey, dressing, and gravy in your mouth all at once, but it is a very delicate thing nevertheless.
Oh no, I just realized I can never read “cousin walk” again without thinking of the girl last year who thought it was about incestuous sex instead of weed.
Vaping has killed the cousin walk industry
November 27, 2025 at 8:02 PM
Oh no, I just realized I can never read “cousin walk” again without thinking of the girl last year who thought it was about incestuous sex instead of weed.
Reposted by Monkey One
Happy Chompsgiving!
November 27, 2025 at 6:22 PM
Happy Chompsgiving!
OK, but when is Shaggy gonna break it down romantic style with Optimus Prime?
November 27, 2025 at 6:03 PM
OK, but when is Shaggy gonna break it down romantic style with Optimus Prime?
Every year the Happy Happy Turkey Day song from Addams Family Values plays on a loop in the back of my brain.
November 27, 2025 at 5:10 PM
Every year the Happy Happy Turkey Day song from Addams Family Values plays on a loop in the back of my brain.
Reposted by Monkey One
One of my personal favourites
November 26, 2025 at 10:51 PM
One of my personal favourites
Pupasan chair. Thank you. Wow, what a great audience.
November 27, 2025 at 1:17 AM
Pupasan chair. Thank you. Wow, what a great audience.
We gotta figure out some kind of damnatio memoriae for these people, like when Akhenaten died and they reverted all his monotheistic bullshit, smashed his statues, and stopped talking about him for centuries.
November 26, 2025 at 11:58 PM
We gotta figure out some kind of damnatio memoriae for these people, like when Akhenaten died and they reverted all his monotheistic bullshit, smashed his statues, and stopped talking about him for centuries.
You’re telling me they made a cute anime based on the Zuiyo-maru carcass misidentification? Of course they did.
I'm still waiting for a Blu-ray release of "Coo of the Far Seas" (1993).
There is an HD master, but it's only broadcast on television in Japan occasionally.
There is an HD master, but it's only broadcast on television in Japan occasionally.
November 26, 2025 at 11:44 PM
You’re telling me they made a cute anime based on the Zuiyo-maru carcass misidentification? Of course they did.
No it hasn’t because you are using the viewing metrics from Twitter, you morons. You credulous buffoons. Those tell you nothing about the number of real people who watch the whole episode.
A racist TV show made with the assistance of Sora has attracted millions of viewers. Tyler Austin Harper argues that it could be “the harbinger of a new entertainment landscape where extremist AI shows will jockey for our attention with more anodyne ones”:
The Will Stancil Show Could Be the Future
A racist TV series making fun of a minor social-media celebrity has attracted millions of viewers—and demonstrates the alarming possibilities of AI.
bit.ly
November 26, 2025 at 11:28 PM
No it hasn’t because you are using the viewing metrics from Twitter, you morons. You credulous buffoons. Those tell you nothing about the number of real people who watch the whole episode.
*said menacingly*
November 26, 2025 at 8:39 PM
*said menacingly*
Oh good, now I have to put up with unhinged ranting and threats from the president. Oh, hold on, no, that’s not that weird these days.
November 26, 2025 at 8:12 PM
Oh good, now I have to put up with unhinged ranting and threats from the president. Oh, hold on, no, that’s not that weird these days.
Charlie Kirk’s fate for everyone who sends me a fundraising text disguised as an important announcement.
November 26, 2025 at 7:37 PM
Charlie Kirk’s fate for everyone who sends me a fundraising text disguised as an important announcement.
ME: What about the parts where there are only one set of footprints?
JESUS: That’s where I carried you. You were so wasted, dude.
ME: And the tire tracks?
JESUS: Oh man, you don’t remember those sick dune buggies?
JESUS: That’s where I carried you. You were so wasted, dude.
ME: And the tire tracks?
JESUS: Oh man, you don’t remember those sick dune buggies?
November 26, 2025 at 5:05 PM
ME: What about the parts where there are only one set of footprints?
JESUS: That’s where I carried you. You were so wasted, dude.
ME: And the tire tracks?
JESUS: Oh man, you don’t remember those sick dune buggies?
JESUS: That’s where I carried you. You were so wasted, dude.
ME: And the tire tracks?
JESUS: Oh man, you don’t remember those sick dune buggies?
*door slowly swings shut*
Well, that’s none of my business.
Well, that’s none of my business.
November 26, 2025 at 4:59 PM
*door slowly swings shut*
Well, that’s none of my business.
Well, that’s none of my business.
Every story I see out of Britain is like, “Labour minister and former advocate for the homeless mandates burning homeless for heat this winter.”
November 26, 2025 at 4:38 PM
Every story I see out of Britain is like, “Labour minister and former advocate for the homeless mandates burning homeless for heat this winter.”
I love seeing people at the peak of satisfaction.
Good morning to Brazilian reporter Manuela Borges, who’s been waiting eleven years for this petty moment. ❤️ 🇧🇷
November 26, 2025 at 4:15 PM
I love seeing people at the peak of satisfaction.
Reposted by Monkey One
As a Wastewater Treatment Operator, it's wild to suggest that 0.7% of normal flow is a negligible amount. I've seen a slug load that's only .001% of our normal flow absolutely fuck up my plant for weeks.
This is why they say the DCs aren't "polluting" the water, they're "worsening" a pollution problem. But even this is silly. It looks like Amazon's wastewater is only around ~0.7% of the Port's total volume, so the concentrated water gets diluted into the other 99.3%. The impact is negligible.
November 26, 2025 at 3:08 PM
As a Wastewater Treatment Operator, it's wild to suggest that 0.7% of normal flow is a negligible amount. I've seen a slug load that's only .001% of our normal flow absolutely fuck up my plant for weeks.
This is not the face of someone who doesn’t do cocaine.
November 26, 2025 at 4:06 AM
This is not the face of someone who doesn’t do cocaine.
Not a movie. I’d make them uncancel Better Off Ted.
If you were a despotic president, what movie would you force Hollywood to make? I want to see Quentin's Star Trek movie or maybe Kill Bill Vol 3.
November 26, 2025 at 3:26 AM
Not a movie. I’d make them uncancel Better Off Ted.
Rush Hour 4, huh? Good thing coming back decades later for a fourth movie in a trilogy always works.
Like Indiana Jones and the Legend of the Crystal Skull. Or The Matrix Resurrections. Or Beverly Hills Cop: Axel F. Or Ocean’s 8.
Like Indiana Jones and the Legend of the Crystal Skull. Or The Matrix Resurrections. Or Beverly Hills Cop: Axel F. Or Ocean’s 8.
November 26, 2025 at 1:29 AM
Rush Hour 4, huh? Good thing coming back decades later for a fourth movie in a trilogy always works.
Like Indiana Jones and the Legend of the Crystal Skull. Or The Matrix Resurrections. Or Beverly Hills Cop: Axel F. Or Ocean’s 8.
Like Indiana Jones and the Legend of the Crystal Skull. Or The Matrix Resurrections. Or Beverly Hills Cop: Axel F. Or Ocean’s 8.
Ah, gee, Mr. Barro, I’m just a simple lefty. I don’t know anything about poker, but I guess you could teach me.
November 26, 2025 at 1:10 AM
Ah, gee, Mr. Barro, I’m just a simple lefty. I don’t know anything about poker, but I guess you could teach me.
So funny how normally the correct position is that the president has very little effect on the economy, but this time? No, that’s all him.
November 25, 2025 at 11:21 PM
So funny how normally the correct position is that the president has very little effect on the economy, but this time? No, that’s all him.