Monkey One
@vitruvianmonkey.bsky.social
Livin’ the farce, baby!
Pinned
I hope you fucking enlighten yourself. I hope you pieces of shit experience the pure joy of perfect clarity. I hope you losers find truth and pursue it like it holds the secret to immortality. I hope your dumb eyes are opened and full of wisdom and purpose.
The Death of Stalin is both a dudes suck and dudes rock movie.
February 10, 2026 at 5:55 PM
The Death of Stalin is both a dudes suck and dudes rock movie.
The year is 2038, and the first moon colony, Luna Utopia, has immediately imploded, killing 56 people. The LLM that has been programmed to respond like Elon Musk issues the statement, “Concerning, but epic way to die.”
February 9, 2026 at 11:29 PM
The year is 2038, and the first moon colony, Luna Utopia, has immediately imploded, killing 56 people. The LLM that has been programmed to respond like Elon Musk issues the statement, “Concerning, but epic way to die.”
There’s only so many Starlink satellites you can justifiably put up there and there are not enough people who have the money and need it to keep everything afloat on just Starlink services revenue. Other than runs to the space station, what is there?
February 9, 2026 at 11:18 PM
There’s only so many Starlink satellites you can justifiably put up there and there are not enough people who have the money and need it to keep everything afloat on just Starlink services revenue. Other than runs to the space station, what is there?
I think his stupid vision of space exploration involves a steady stream of his rockets being paid to bring supplies to wherever his death trap ends up because SpaceX doesn’t really have a natural market for its services or products, but he doesn’t talk about that.
"self growing cities" my dude there is NO FOOD ON THE MOON, you will have to continuously send supplies to the moon forever! That would be worse than sending supplies to literally any other spot on earth!
February 9, 2026 at 11:15 PM
I think his stupid vision of space exploration involves a steady stream of his rockets being paid to bring supplies to wherever his death trap ends up because SpaceX doesn’t really have a natural market for its services or products, but he doesn’t talk about that.
Well I wish I had your effects of climate change instead of mine, Fish.
February 9, 2026 at 10:22 PM
Well I wish I had your effects of climate change instead of mine, Fish.
He’s partially liquid.
February 9, 2026 at 10:21 PM
He’s partially liquid.
Ah, February. When you start thinking about jumping in a pool to cool off.
February 9, 2026 at 9:31 PM
Ah, February. When you start thinking about jumping in a pool to cool off.
No worries here I don’t follow any blocklists.
February 9, 2026 at 9:17 PM
No worries here I don’t follow any blocklists.
Live by the paramilitary, hopefully die by a different paramilitary.
Keep him!
“Information continuing to emerge from eastern Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC) claims that the M23 armed group has detained Erik Prince, the American national known as the founder and former head of the private military company Blackwater.“
“Information continuing to emerge from eastern Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC) claims that the M23 armed group has detained Erik Prince, the American national known as the founder and former head of the private military company Blackwater.“
Reports Emerge Claiming M23 Detained Blackwater Founder Erik Prince in Eastern DRC
kigalidailynews.rw
February 9, 2026 at 3:47 PM
Live by the paramilitary, hopefully die by a different paramilitary.
Every clip I’ve seen of Kid Rock since his “comeback” has been him lip synching. But I don’t think his audience is coming for his talent as a vocalist any more.
Kid Rock lip synced his entire performance at the Turning Point USA Half Time show
February 9, 2026 at 2:02 AM
Every clip I’ve seen of Kid Rock since his “comeback” has been him lip synching. But I don’t think his audience is coming for his talent as a vocalist any more.
I get to tell my wife I am built like an Olympic athlete now and she can’t deny it.
February 9, 2026 at 12:24 AM
I get to tell my wife I am built like an Olympic athlete now and she can’t deny it.
Spokesperson D Ingle?
February 8, 2026 at 9:14 PM
Spokesperson D Ingle?
Reposted by Monkey One
A desperate plea sent to me by a Minneapolis resident who's been on the front lines since the beginning of the ICE occupation:
February 8, 2026 at 5:06 AM
A desperate plea sent to me by a Minneapolis resident who's been on the front lines since the beginning of the ICE occupation:
The Super Bowl surprises me every year because I don’t have cable or watch broadcast TV and that’s the way I like it.
February 8, 2026 at 6:35 PM
The Super Bowl surprises me every year because I don’t have cable or watch broadcast TV and that’s the way I like it.
OK, well that was ambiguously phrased then.
February 8, 2026 at 6:25 PM
OK, well that was ambiguously phrased then.
Reposted by Monkey One
Billionaires are so boring. If I had that kind of money, I'd make a super bowl ad for my cats.
"This is Lucy AKA Goose AKA Goosey-boo AKA Goosey-baby AKA Silky Girl AKA Farty Baby and she loves being a baby because she's a baby"
"This is Lucy AKA Goose AKA Goosey-boo AKA Goosey-baby AKA Silky Girl AKA Farty Baby and she loves being a baby because she's a baby"
February 8, 2026 at 6:00 PM
Billionaires are so boring. If I had that kind of money, I'd make a super bowl ad for my cats.
"This is Lucy AKA Goose AKA Goosey-boo AKA Goosey-baby AKA Silky Girl AKA Farty Baby and she loves being a baby because she's a baby"
"This is Lucy AKA Goose AKA Goosey-boo AKA Goosey-baby AKA Silky Girl AKA Farty Baby and she loves being a baby because she's a baby"
LMAO, yeah, he kind of proved them right.
February 8, 2026 at 5:59 PM
LMAO, yeah, he kind of proved them right.
Wait, I think I’ve misunderstood something.
February 8, 2026 at 5:55 PM
Wait, I think I’ve misunderstood something.
Could James Bond survive Snu-Snu?
February 8, 2026 at 5:54 PM
Could James Bond survive Snu-Snu?
Listen, we’ve all had a memo we’ve written violate the laws of causality and reference an event that has yet to happen. That’s the mmmOH NO I AM ONCE AGAIN EXPERIENCING ALL OF TIME AT ONCE DON’T TAKE THE CONVERTIBLE MR PRESIDENT
Jeffrey Epstein died on August 10th. In the Epstein files, there is what appears to be a draft DOJ press release announcing his death that is dated August 9th.
(It’s here: www.justice.gov/epstein/file...)
(It’s here: www.justice.gov/epstein/file...)
The release on Saturday, August 10th appears to have two differences. The date, and the addition of “of an apparent suicide” www.justice.gov/usao-sdny/pr...
February 8, 2026 at 5:49 PM
Listen, we’ve all had a memo we’ve written violate the laws of causality and reference an event that has yet to happen. That’s the mmmOH NO I AM ONCE AGAIN EXPERIENCING ALL OF TIME AT ONCE DON’T TAKE THE CONVERTIBLE MR PRESIDENT
Wild theories about Trump-aligned fake leftist fifth columns because people can’t just accept that Will Stancil was kicked from a group chat because he was being Will Stancil and insisting he knew better than everyone else.
Trying not to put on my tin foil hat here, but if your strategy was to get the media to think you’d toned it down while actually going harder against the observers, a tactic you’d deploy would be to use a fifth column to divide the observers and box out the press, under a left-coded pretext.
A desperate plea sent to me by a Minneapolis resident who's been on the front lines since the beginning of the ICE occupation:
February 8, 2026 at 4:43 PM
Wild theories about Trump-aligned fake leftist fifth columns because people can’t just accept that Will Stancil was kicked from a group chat because he was being Will Stancil and insisting he knew better than everyone else.
It’s like there’s a club you get in when either enough people know your name or enough of a certain type of person knows your name, and once you’re in, it’s almost impossible for me to never hear from you again.
February 7, 2026 at 11:10 PM
It’s like there’s a club you get in when either enough people know your name or enough of a certain type of person knows your name, and once you’re in, it’s almost impossible for me to never hear from you again.
Ever since I turned forty.
February 7, 2026 at 9:37 PM
Ever since I turned forty.
I apologize to all the sci-fi writers I ever made fun of for trying to invent futuristic slang. This is much worse than what any of you came up with.
we gotta open the schools…or close down the schools. not sure. yikes
February 7, 2026 at 9:34 PM
I apologize to all the sci-fi writers I ever made fun of for trying to invent futuristic slang. This is much worse than what any of you came up with.