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Monkey One @vitruvianmonkey.bsky.social · 9h

I think Marvel and DC are both cults and databases, or maybe just database-centered cults.

Adrianna Tan @skinnylatte.hachyderm.io.ap.brid.gy · 10h

As I get older I’ve concluded, ‘everything is basically either a cult or a database’. I will not be explaining

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Reposted by Monkey One

Fredo Fabrucci: The Poster's Poster™ @fredo.bsky.social · 1d

SCARY VOICE ON THE PHONE: Do you like scary movies???

ME, MATTER OF FACTLY: Yes.

SCARY VOICE ON THE PHONE: What's your favorite scary movie???

ME: John Carpenter's The Thing.

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Monkey One @vitruvianmonkey.bsky.social · 10h

The exorcist requires the existence of demons.

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Monkey One @vitruvianmonkey.bsky.social · 15h

AI trash. You should be ashamed sharing this shit like some kind of tasteless conservative.

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Monkey One @vitruvianmonkey.bsky.social · 1d

Alright, now that that’s over, we need to talk about changing a few rules.

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Monkey One @vitruvianmonkey.bsky.social · 1d

Some of you are screaming, “End the game!”, but I’m screaming, “End Trump’s presidency, Robert Mueller!”

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Monkey One @vitruvianmonkey.bsky.social · 1d

And because they did not stop to help the beggar woman, the Mariners were cursed to an eternal baseball game until one of them can find her and give her a dollar.

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Monkey One @vitruvianmonkey.bsky.social · 1d

Of all the animals to feature prominently in our politics, the frog had to be a dark horse. From Pepe to groypers to protestors in inflatable costumes…a suspicious amount of political relevance for an amphibian.

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Monkey One @vitruvianmonkey.bsky.social · 1d

For you? Are you OK?

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Monkey One @vitruvianmonkey.bsky.social · 1d

Sausage? That’s like asking what kind of flour you make bread with. It doesn’t have one answer!

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Monkey One @vitruvianmonkey.bsky.social · 1d

I don’t know, I just hope his corpse is desecrated because people finally come to their senses. I know. I know.

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Monkey One @vitruvianmonkey.bsky.social · 1d

He’s delusional, so who can say?

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Monkey One @vitruvianmonkey.bsky.social · 1d

Trump may not get the peace prize while he’s alive, but he will be posthumously awarded the piss prize if they don’t keep his grave site a closely guarded secret.

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Monkey One @vitruvianmonkey.bsky.social · 1d

Call me cynical, but I am gonna wait a few weeks before celebrating any Israeli ceasefire. They have a tendency not to honor those.

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Monkey One @vitruvianmonkey.bsky.social · 1d

Not allowed.

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Monkey One @vitruvianmonkey.bsky.social · 1d

Nobel Peace Prize doesn’t go to Trump.

*crowd cheers*

It goes to a lady who wants Trump to kill her country’s fishermen so she can privatize their oil resources.

*crowd boos*

I remind the crowd that the peace prize committee is just five Norwegian political appointees.

*crowd wanders off*

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Monkey One @vitruvianmonkey.bsky.social · 1d

When it’s “save the elephants” everyone wants to donate, but when I try to start a “save the guinea worm” fund, suddenly I’m an enemy of humanity and disrespecting Jimmy Carter’s legacy.

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Monkey One @vitruvianmonkey.bsky.social · 1d

This is particularly funny considering the Republicans are currently trying to revive the Sharia Panic.

Aaron Rupar @atrupar.com · 1d

Hegseth: "I'm also proud that today we're signing a letter of acceptance to build a Qatari Emeri air force facility at the Mountain Home Airbase in Idaho."

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Monkey One @vitruvianmonkey.bsky.social · 3d

ME IN HOLLOW KNIGHT: I’m not doing something called the path of pain that doesn’t sound fun

SILKSONG: What if we make it part of a quest with no reward other than talking to a cryptic mushroom?

ME: Fine. Take three hours of my life.

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Monkey One @vitruvianmonkey.bsky.social · 3d

How did my Pictish/Scandinavian ass end up in Texas? Which of my ancestors do I blame for this atrocity? I should be huddling around a warm hearth in October to shake off the chill, not sweating as soon as I take one step outside.

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Monkey One @vitruvianmonkey.bsky.social · 3d

Nothing gets better if we allow the people making it all worse to keep breathing.

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Monkey One @vitruvianmonkey.bsky.social · 3d

Any chatbot that has a “be vulgar” or “be funny” setting was designed by poorly raised ten year olds for poorly raised ten year olds.

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Monkey One @vitruvianmonkey.bsky.social · 3d

JB Pritzker isn’t backing down! He is standing tall!

Of course, the fascists are simply walking around him because he isn’t doing anything tangible to stop them, but he IS standing there. Oh look, he sent another tweet.

Governor JB Pritzker @govpritzker.illinois.gov · 3d

I will not back down.

Trump is now calling for the arrest of elected representatives checking his power.

What else is left on the path to full-blown authoritarianism?

Donald Trump Truth Social Post: Chicago Mayor should be in jail for failing to protect Ice Officers! Governor Pritzker also.

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Monkey One @vitruvianmonkey.bsky.social · 3d

It is 2015. Trump support is about to crumble. It is only a matter of time.

It is 2018. Trump support is about to crumble. It is only a matter of time.

It is 2024. Trump support is about to crumble. It is only a matter of time.

It is 2025…

Angry @angrystaffer.bsky.social · 3d

👀👀👀👀

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