Monkey One
@vitruvianmonkey.bsky.social
Livin’ the farce, baby!
Pinned
I hope you fucking enlighten yourself. I hope you pieces of shit experience the pure joy of perfect clarity. I hope you losers find truth and pursue it like it holds the secret to immortality. I hope your dumb eyes are opened and full of wisdom and purpose.
Live by the paramilitary, hopefully die by a different paramilitary.
Keep him!
“Information continuing to emerge from eastern Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC) claims that the M23 armed group has detained Erik Prince, the American national known as the founder and former head of the private military company Blackwater.“
“Information continuing to emerge from eastern Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC) claims that the M23 armed group has detained Erik Prince, the American national known as the founder and former head of the private military company Blackwater.“
Reports Emerge Claiming M23 Detained Blackwater Founder Erik Prince in Eastern DRC
kigalidailynews.rw
February 9, 2026 at 3:47 PM
Live by the paramilitary, hopefully die by a different paramilitary.
Every clip I’ve seen of Kid Rock since his “comeback” has been him lip synching. But I don’t think his audience is coming for his talent as a vocalist any more.
Kid Rock lip synced his entire performance at the Turning Point USA Half Time show
February 9, 2026 at 2:02 AM
Every clip I’ve seen of Kid Rock since his “comeback” has been him lip synching. But I don’t think his audience is coming for his talent as a vocalist any more.
I get to tell my wife I am built like an Olympic athlete now and she can’t deny it.
February 9, 2026 at 12:24 AM
I get to tell my wife I am built like an Olympic athlete now and she can’t deny it.
Reposted by Monkey One
A desperate plea sent to me by a Minneapolis resident who's been on the front lines since the beginning of the ICE occupation:
February 8, 2026 at 5:06 AM
A desperate plea sent to me by a Minneapolis resident who's been on the front lines since the beginning of the ICE occupation:
The Super Bowl surprises me every year because I don’t have cable or watch broadcast TV and that’s the way I like it.
February 8, 2026 at 6:35 PM
The Super Bowl surprises me every year because I don’t have cable or watch broadcast TV and that’s the way I like it.
Reposted by Monkey One
Billionaires are so boring. If I had that kind of money, I'd make a super bowl ad for my cats.
"This is Lucy AKA Goose AKA Goosey-boo AKA Goosey-baby AKA Silky Girl AKA Farty Baby and she loves being a baby because she's a baby"
"This is Lucy AKA Goose AKA Goosey-boo AKA Goosey-baby AKA Silky Girl AKA Farty Baby and she loves being a baby because she's a baby"
February 8, 2026 at 6:00 PM
Billionaires are so boring. If I had that kind of money, I'd make a super bowl ad for my cats.
"This is Lucy AKA Goose AKA Goosey-boo AKA Goosey-baby AKA Silky Girl AKA Farty Baby and she loves being a baby because she's a baby"
"This is Lucy AKA Goose AKA Goosey-boo AKA Goosey-baby AKA Silky Girl AKA Farty Baby and she loves being a baby because she's a baby"
Listen, we’ve all had a memo we’ve written violate the laws of causality and reference an event that has yet to happen. That’s the mmmOH NO I AM ONCE AGAIN EXPERIENCING ALL OF TIME AT ONCE DON’T TAKE THE CONVERTIBLE MR PRESIDENT
Jeffrey Epstein died on August 10th. In the Epstein files, there is what appears to be a draft DOJ press release announcing his death that is dated August 9th.
(It’s here: www.justice.gov/epstein/file...)
(It’s here: www.justice.gov/epstein/file...)
The release on Saturday, August 10th appears to have two differences. The date, and the addition of “of an apparent suicide” www.justice.gov/usao-sdny/pr...
February 8, 2026 at 5:49 PM
Listen, we’ve all had a memo we’ve written violate the laws of causality and reference an event that has yet to happen. That’s the mmmOH NO I AM ONCE AGAIN EXPERIENCING ALL OF TIME AT ONCE DON’T TAKE THE CONVERTIBLE MR PRESIDENT
Wild theories about Trump-aligned fake leftist fifth columns because people can’t just accept that Will Stancil was kicked from a group chat because he was being Will Stancil and insisting he knew better than everyone else.
Trying not to put on my tin foil hat here, but if your strategy was to get the media to think you’d toned it down while actually going harder against the observers, a tactic you’d deploy would be to use a fifth column to divide the observers and box out the press, under a left-coded pretext.
A desperate plea sent to me by a Minneapolis resident who's been on the front lines since the beginning of the ICE occupation:
February 8, 2026 at 4:43 PM
Wild theories about Trump-aligned fake leftist fifth columns because people can’t just accept that Will Stancil was kicked from a group chat because he was being Will Stancil and insisting he knew better than everyone else.
Ever since I turned forty.
February 7, 2026 at 9:37 PM
Ever since I turned forty.
I apologize to all the sci-fi writers I ever made fun of for trying to invent futuristic slang. This is much worse than what any of you came up with.
we gotta open the schools…or close down the schools. not sure. yikes
February 7, 2026 at 9:34 PM
I apologize to all the sci-fi writers I ever made fun of for trying to invent futuristic slang. This is much worse than what any of you came up with.
I’ve never understood the “Hillary/Kamala warned us” posts. Every person who runs against someone else in an election warns people about their opponent. Half the country was warning the other half about Donald Trump. It took no special insight.
Hillary Clinton and Kamala Harris, warned us about Donald Trump. Two leading women that would have lifted our country up. Yet, here we are.
February 7, 2026 at 6:16 PM
I’ve never understood the “Hillary/Kamala warned us” posts. Every person who runs against someone else in an election warns people about their opponent. Half the country was warning the other half about Donald Trump. It took no special insight.
I’m sneering a little bit at Plato. Just a bit.
"Folks on the left will eventually come to terms with the fact they have nowhere else to go," says the founder of the Classic Learning Test. "You can only sneer at Plato, Augustine, Aquinas, Dante, and Shakespeare for so long before the sneering itself starts to look unserious."
WHO IS SNEERING
WHO IS SNEERING
February 7, 2026 at 3:12 AM
I’m sneering a little bit at Plato. Just a bit.
If she’d stop storing her black olives in freshly pressed olive oil she wouldn’t have this problem.
Had no choice but to pay $40 for a taxi burrito because I couldn't figure out how to decant olives
February 7, 2026 at 2:44 AM
If she’d stop storing her black olives in freshly pressed olive oil she wouldn’t have this problem.
Reposted by Monkey One
DHS thinks I'm the leader of antifa
YouTube video by Chandler Patey
youtube.com
February 6, 2026 at 11:13 PM
Rewatching this and I still can’t believe they did the worldwide EMP storyline, in which Magneto pretty unequivocally kills everyone on life support, with a pacemaker, or in an airborne plane.
February 7, 2026 at 12:02 AM
Rewatching this and I still can’t believe they did the worldwide EMP storyline, in which Magneto pretty unequivocally kills everyone on life support, with a pacemaker, or in an airborne plane.
Me and the homies judging you.
February 6, 2026 at 11:27 PM
Me and the homies judging you.
Yes, we’ve done the curse words.
February 6, 2026 at 11:24 PM
Yes, we’ve done the curse words.
Is anyone else losing likes and reposts that you’ve made on other posts?
February 6, 2026 at 10:51 PM
Is anyone else losing likes and reposts that you’ve made on other posts?
I dunno, things are pretty unacceptable now and Americans still haven’t sieged the White House to remove the mad pervert king. I’m not sure stealing an election with voter suppression would generate anything more concrete than further protest theater.
February 6, 2026 at 8:37 PM
I dunno, things are pretty unacceptable now and Americans still haven’t sieged the White House to remove the mad pervert king. I’m not sure stealing an election with voter suppression would generate anything more concrete than further protest theater.
I’m sending Evelyn Normielib this story and a gun.
This is Maria, a 6-year-old detained by ICE last year.
She began to unravel soon after arriving at a detention center in Texas, wetting the bed after years without accidents, crying through the night and begging to breastfeed again.
Most of all, she wanted to be reunited with her cat, Milo. 1/
She began to unravel soon after arriving at a detention center in Texas, wetting the bed after years without accidents, crying through the night and begging to breastfeed again.
Most of all, she wanted to be reunited with her cat, Milo. 1/
February 6, 2026 at 7:41 PM
I’m sending Evelyn Normielib this story and a gun.
Reposted by Monkey One
This is Maria, a 6-year-old detained by ICE last year.
She began to unravel soon after arriving at a detention center in Texas, wetting the bed after years without accidents, crying through the night and begging to breastfeed again.
Most of all, she wanted to be reunited with her cat, Milo. 1/
She began to unravel soon after arriving at a detention center in Texas, wetting the bed after years without accidents, crying through the night and begging to breastfeed again.
Most of all, she wanted to be reunited with her cat, Milo. 1/
February 6, 2026 at 6:25 PM
This is Maria, a 6-year-old detained by ICE last year.
She began to unravel soon after arriving at a detention center in Texas, wetting the bed after years without accidents, crying through the night and begging to breastfeed again.
Most of all, she wanted to be reunited with her cat, Milo. 1/
She began to unravel soon after arriving at a detention center in Texas, wetting the bed after years without accidents, crying through the night and begging to breastfeed again.
Most of all, she wanted to be reunited with her cat, Milo. 1/
That staffer’s name? Stephen M.
No, that’s too obvious, let’s just call him S. Miller.
No, that’s too obvious, let’s just call him S. Miller.
POLITICO reporting that the White House has now claimed the ape video was an accident and removed it.
February 6, 2026 at 5:16 PM
That staffer’s name? Stephen M.
No, that’s too obvious, let’s just call him S. Miller.
No, that’s too obvious, let’s just call him S. Miller.
Reposted by Monkey One
Legally here on a work permit. Arrested when he went to renew it. Not fighting his deportation. Yet he's been in detention 29 days. No access to a lawyer. Has been given no information about his case. Family inquiries also ignored. ICE only responded when local news requested comment.
‘Nobody gives me information’: Jacksonville-area man held in ‘Deportation Depot’ for weeks talks conditions, challenges
Macario Pablo-Reyes, 49, has been held for weeks at the Baker County Immigration and Customs Enforcement facility, sometimes referred to as the “Deportation Depot.”
www.news4jax.com
February 6, 2026 at 1:35 PM
Legally here on a work permit. Arrested when he went to renew it. Not fighting his deportation. Yet he's been in detention 29 days. No access to a lawyer. Has been given no information about his case. Family inquiries also ignored. ICE only responded when local news requested comment.
Tim Scott accidentally revealing that he has noticed the racism before and chose to remain silent and compliant.
February 6, 2026 at 5:07 PM
Tim Scott accidentally revealing that he has noticed the racism before and chose to remain silent and compliant.