w i l l
@willpauer.com
i literally don't have anything better to do on this platform than shitpost and troll so if you take anything i say seriously it's your own fault
Pinned
I had a pager when I was a teen for family reasons. some codes:
9265 20 "where are you? call home"
9265 700 "it's mom, I'm at work"
1196 555 "it's your sister, call me"
5046 555 "it's your brother, call me"
9265 911 "drop what you're doing and call home now"
9265 123 "it's dad, call home soon"
9265 20 "where are you? call home"
9265 700 "it's mom, I'm at work"
1196 555 "it's your sister, call me"
5046 555 "it's your brother, call me"
9265 911 "drop what you're doing and call home now"
9265 123 "it's dad, call home soon"
COME HERE FOR DISCOUNTED BEEPERS, LOOK NO FURTHER: BUY
ONE GET ONE FREE, EVERY COLOR!
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December 11, 2025 at 1:31 AM
I had a pager when I was a teen for family reasons. some codes:
9265 20 "where are you? call home"
9265 700 "it's mom, I'm at work"
1196 555 "it's your sister, call me"
5046 555 "it's your brother, call me"
9265 911 "drop what you're doing and call home now"
9265 123 "it's dad, call home soon"
9265 20 "where are you? call home"
9265 700 "it's mom, I'm at work"
1196 555 "it's your sister, call me"
5046 555 "it's your brother, call me"
9265 911 "drop what you're doing and call home now"
9265 123 "it's dad, call home soon"
I've noticed the "Kamala Harris isn't tough enough on Gaza" crowd have been really fucking quiet ever since ICE started kidnapping people at gunpoint. maybe this is what they wanted all along?
December 9, 2025 at 1:58 AM
I've noticed the "Kamala Harris isn't tough enough on Gaza" crowd have been really fucking quiet ever since ICE started kidnapping people at gunpoint. maybe this is what they wanted all along?
Stabbing Westward still fuckin rules
December 8, 2025 at 11:13 AM
Stabbing Westward still fuckin rules
Reposted by w i l l
just sat on my balls
December 8, 2025 at 12:29 AM
just sat on my balls
Reposted by w i l l
Had to explain the concept of groupies to someone who doesn't believe that a 19-year-old girl would want to fuck a 45-year-old rockstar. Doesn't believe the girl can consent to it.
December 7, 2025 at 12:43 AM
Had to explain the concept of groupies to someone who doesn't believe that a 19-year-old girl would want to fuck a 45-year-old rockstar. Doesn't believe the girl can consent to it.
Reposted by w i l l
That's because she *is* a hero. Hopefully this movement spreads throughout the world.
In terms of what’s understood to be socially acceptable behavior, normalizing the filming/taking pictures of people in public who are minding their own business (and putting it online) is one of the worst developments of the past 15 years.
Woman Hailed as Hero for Smashing Man's Meta Smart Glasses on Subway
A New York subway rider has accused a woman of breaking his Meta smart glasses. She was later hailed as a hero.
futurism.com
December 6, 2025 at 1:19 AM
That's because she *is* a hero. Hopefully this movement spreads throughout the world.
Mike Bidwill is the worst owner in the NFL, probably all major American sports leagues, and nobody gives a fuck because he owns the Cardinals, who nobody gives a fuck about. even the A's had a bigger "sell the team" movement
December 6, 2025 at 1:15 AM
Mike Bidwill is the worst owner in the NFL, probably all major American sports leagues, and nobody gives a fuck because he owns the Cardinals, who nobody gives a fuck about. even the A's had a bigger "sell the team" movement
Hmmmmmmmm. Interesting.
*chuckles alone on bus cartoonily*
December 3, 2025 at 11:07 PM
Hmmmmmmmm. Interesting.
found an unused condom during a purge last night. expired in 2016. I genuinely do not know if it was mine or from a FWB.
December 3, 2025 at 8:41 PM
found an unused condom during a purge last night. expired in 2016. I genuinely do not know if it was mine or from a FWB.
i'd never heard of Anthony Fantano until about five minutes ago and that was as long as it took to determine that his entire taste in music and every single opinion he's ever had can be tossed in the fucking trash where it belongs
November 30, 2025 at 8:22 AM
i'd never heard of Anthony Fantano until about five minutes ago and that was as long as it took to determine that his entire taste in music and every single opinion he's ever had can be tossed in the fucking trash where it belongs
@profanity.accountant this is probably not as high as i think despite using "fuck" a lot
November 30, 2025 at 7:34 AM
@profanity.accountant this is probably not as high as i think despite using "fuck" a lot
This is why we need a full ban on all AI. It's effectively ruining an entire generation.
An issue we're seeing at all levels of university is that many students are simply refusing to do *anything*. They aren't reading the syllabus, aren't following assignment guidelines, aren't engaging with material, ignoring deadlines. And this might seem like old news, but it truly has ramped up.
November 30, 2025 at 12:15 AM
This is why we need a full ban on all AI. It's effectively ruining an entire generation.
Reposted by w i l l
AND THEN BRUTUS DID MORE.
November 29, 2025 at 7:43 PM
AND THEN BRUTUS DID MORE.
Reposted by w i l l
SNOW ❄️ QUAD ❄️ BOX ❄️
November 29, 2025 at 6:40 PM
SNOW ❄️ QUAD ❄️ BOX ❄️
Zootopia: Covenant
zootopialander
No Zootopia for Old Men
November 29, 2025 at 12:49 AM
Zootopia: Covenant
Reposted by w i l l
Me: oh I heard Amazon has a really hot black Friday deal on cat litter. I should go see if it’s still available
A person I deal with: no you can’t buy from Amazon, that’s terrible!!!
Me: what the fuck do you want me to do, Brenda, buy bespoke hand-polished walnut cat litter on Etsy
A person I deal with: no you can’t buy from Amazon, that’s terrible!!!
Me: what the fuck do you want me to do, Brenda, buy bespoke hand-polished walnut cat litter on Etsy
November 28, 2025 at 4:53 PM
Me: oh I heard Amazon has a really hot black Friday deal on cat litter. I should go see if it’s still available
A person I deal with: no you can’t buy from Amazon, that’s terrible!!!
Me: what the fuck do you want me to do, Brenda, buy bespoke hand-polished walnut cat litter on Etsy
A person I deal with: no you can’t buy from Amazon, that’s terrible!!!
Me: what the fuck do you want me to do, Brenda, buy bespoke hand-polished walnut cat litter on Etsy
Reposted by w i l l
why is every liberal a crybaby snitch who's solution to everything is Talking To The Manager and Calling the Cops
November 25, 2025 at 8:42 PM
why is every liberal a crybaby snitch who's solution to everything is Talking To The Manager and Calling the Cops
Reposted by w i l l
as a non-binary person I also find “folx” to be intensely cringe
“folks” is a perfectly good non-gendered term and you just decided to Hot Topic it to be edgy
“folks” is a perfectly good non-gendered term and you just decided to Hot Topic it to be edgy
I do not understand the point of “folx“ AT ALL
November 26, 2025 at 10:33 PM
as a non-binary person I also find “folx” to be intensely cringe
“folks” is a perfectly good non-gendered term and you just decided to Hot Topic it to be edgy
“folks” is a perfectly good non-gendered term and you just decided to Hot Topic it to be edgy
Reposted by w i l l
another great night at Church of Hive - and it's gonna be even better in the coming weeks.
November 24, 2025 at 10:17 AM
another great night at Church of Hive - and it's gonna be even better in the coming weeks.
Nobody wants green bean casserole, just nobody wants to admit that because vegetables good
with charity and goodwill, i must here part ways with rolls.
November 24, 2025 at 9:30 AM
Nobody wants green bean casserole, just nobody wants to admit that because vegetables good