Lightnews — Scholar-powered news

Chris Blackton @chrisblackton.me · 3h

I was relatively young and the dude (not a doctor but a drunk tank employee) was def trying to scare me straight. Had more drinking to do but that was the beginning of the end.

Always think about that dude whenever I see BAC come up.

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Chris Blackton @chrisblackton.me · 3h

Blew a .32 when I got my DUI. Dude said, "you realize if you were .08 higher you'd be dead?"

I replied: "Well, guess it's a good thing it was a light morning."

16 years sober now. Phew.

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Reposted by Chris Blackton

Grant Brisbee @grantbrisbee.bsky.social · 3h

when you check on your client's 401(k) and everything is on track and also you've hit a go-ahead home run.

Andrew Vaughn, looking less like a baseball player and more like a friendly neighbor than anyone in recent memory.

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Asawin Suebsaeng @swin24.bsky.social · 5h

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Chris Blackton @chrisblackton.me · 5h

r/BirdsFacingForward

Birds Facing Forward

Pictures of birds looking directly at the camera.

reddit.com

Chris Blackton @chrisblackton.me · 5h

Save me a spot in the bread line

Simon Lester @simonlester.com · 16h

"The Labor Department warned in an obscure document filed with the Federal Register last week that 'the near total cessation of the inflow of illegal aliens' is threatening 'the stability of domestic food production and prices for U.S. consumers.'”

Trump administration says immigration enforcement threatens higher food prices

U.S. farmers face labor shortages and potential food price hikes due to Trump’s immigration policy, the administration acknowledged in a Federal Registry document.

wapo.st

Reposted by Chris Blackton

jamelle @jamellebouie.net · 5h

they want the US to be Iran but Christian

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Chris Blackton @chrisblackton.me · 5h

MERITOCRACY!!!

Bill Grueskin @bgrueskin.bsky.social · 6h

Oh sure why not www.telegraph.co.uk/us/news/2025...

Barron Trump tipped for top TikTok job

US president’s 19-year-old son could be appointed to the app’s board

www.telegraph.co.uk

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Chris Blackton @chrisblackton.me · 8h

Coming to theaters Halloween 2026

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Popehat Agitates And Irritates @kenwhite.bsky.social · 11h

Trader Joe's Exec1: we'll sell lots of really good stuff at good prices

Exec2: that doesn't sound at all evil. We're a big company, we're supposed to be evil

Founder1: we are going to have the most inadequate, cramped, badly designed parking lots in the fucking world

Founder2: ok that works

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Chris Blackton @chrisblackton.me · 9h

Small parking lot fine but mini-labyrinth parking lot with more spaces than it should have and lanes too narrow for two cars to pass each other easily not so much

Reposted by Chris Blackton

Dave Levitan @davelevitan.bsky.social · 9h

“We can give $20 billion to Argentina but we can’t afford the CDC’s measles experts” is a hell of an argument

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Chris Blackton @chrisblackton.me · 9h

Trump take burgers

Mark Chadbourn @chadbourn.bsky.social · 11h

US beef prices have now reached a record high.

Chris Blackton @chrisblackton.me · 9h

My idol is an undead politician and everyone seems to forget about the giant bugs.

Yeah, kinda...

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Reposted by Chris Blackton

Jerry Chen @jcsalterego.bsky.social · 9h

(forgetting the word for antibiotics) do i need cancel culture

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Teal City Crew @tealcitycrew.bsky.social · 9h

It's dangerous to swim alone...take this.

It's Ducks vs #SJSharks, tonight at the tank!

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Reposted by Chris Blackton

🇵🇸Martin “Doomsday” Pfeiffer🖖🏳️‍🌈 @nuclearanthro.bsky.social · 12h

NO PISS IN YOUR EYE

Dan Kaszeta FRHistS @dankaszeta.bsky.social · 2d

Use only water or fresh air on tear gas or pepper spray.

No milk, vinegar, antacids, urine, etc. and especially not in eye.

Thank me later,

An actual expert

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Reposted by Chris Blackton

Brendel @brendelbored.bsky.social · 12h

Day 54 of trying to be hired by Andrew Cuomo

Rich men laughing and one of them is Zohran and it says “average NYC bus user” and then a picture of the Great Depression with Cuomo and it says “average son of a three term Governor”

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Reposted by Chris Blackton

Thor Benson @thorbenson.bsky.social · 12h

Letters from the Portland Front

Ryan J. Reilly “paints a vivid and urgent portrait of… disarray” @ryanjreilly.com · 13h

PORTLAND, Ore. — A small group of federal agents in camouflage and face masks watched from atop the immigration processing center Thursday night as a unicorn, peacock, dinosaur and raccoon danced to Cher’s “If I Could Turn Back Time.” www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news...

Costumed protesters in Portland defy description of the city as a 'war zone'

Dancing frogs, peacocks and unicorns outside the federal immigration building present a joyful contrast to the Trump administration's portrait of the Oregon city, they say.

www.nbcnews.com

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Chris Blackton @chrisblackton.me · 12h

"After Trump got his Covid shot..."

Well done, Senator.

Elizabeth Warren @warren.senate.gov · 12h

After Trump got his Covid shot, he chose to fire the scientists protecting the rest of us from diseases.

Reposted by Chris Blackton

Seth Abramson @sethabramson.bsky.social · 1d

These federal firings have nothing whatsoever to do with the government shutdown, and if that is not the lede of every report discussing them, and if you are the author of any such report, quit your job and learn to surf or something instead

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Michael P. Breen @mpbreen21.bsky.social · 12h

I’m not sure that the people who spent 2024 telling us that Biden was the senile one, that Trump had no idea what Project 2025 was, & that Harris was exaggerating by calling him a fascist who would use the army against civilians are up to the task

Seth Abramson @sethabramson.bsky.social · 1d

These federal firings have nothing whatsoever to do with the government shutdown, and if that is not the lede of every report discussing them, and if you are the author of any such report, quit your job and learn to surf or something instead

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Reposted by Chris Blackton

☠️deadward niedermurder☠️ @niedermeyer.online · Jun 17

you joke, but the Portland No Kings march had a speaker who identified as a clown... their message was that we shouldn't call Trump a clown, because true clowns comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable, or whatever

this was about the time the crowd started chanting "MARCH, MARCH, MARCH"

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Matt Novak @paleofuture.bsky.social · 14h

To Be or Not to Be (Lubitsch, 1942)

TrustedReveler @trustedreveler.bsky.social
LA: we will fight you.
Chicago: we will fight you.
PDX: we will make you endure week after week of of improv theater.
October 7, 2025 at 6:38 PM © Replies disabled

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Reposted by Chris Blackton

Jonathan Zaworski @jrzaworski.bsky.social · 13h

wile e. coyote genius is written on a card

Alt: A furry hand holds a business card. The card reads: "Wile E. Coyote. Genius"

media.tenor.com

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