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Grant Brisbee

@grantbrisbee.bsky.social

24K followers 150 following 890 posts

Union man. I write about baseball and make stupid jokes, not necessarily in that order. For a midlife crisis expressed through record collecting, follow me @mystupidrecords.bsky.social

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Grant Brisbee @grantbrisbee.bsky.social · 4h

An oldie-but-goodie meme of two lobsters fighting with dollar bills scattered around them.

Grant Brisbee @grantbrisbee.bsky.social · 4h

I thought getting beaten in the World Series by the Dodgers would be the ultimate pain for a cursed team like the Mariners, but now I realize that it would feel way worse to lose to the Cubs.

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Reposted by Grant Brisbee

A K (Bone Coloring, Silian Rail Font) @aklingus.bsky.social · 5d

Like, there is a decent chance we will be talking about Game 5 of the 2025 ALDS between Detroit and Seattle for the rest of our lives, the same way we talk about Texas/Toronto

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Grant Brisbee @grantbrisbee.bsky.social · 4h

Not even a Medbed can heal the hurt in Kid Rock's heart right now.

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Grant Brisbee @grantbrisbee.bsky.social · 5h

I return to this poem every fall.

A screenshot of a poem on The Walt Whitman Archive that reads:

"DINGLE me into that fair autumn's eve
For spring breaths and summer perspiration
have given way to
The hibernation of the Dingler
Who shall dingle sweetly in his dreams
who shall dingle fiercely in his nightmares."

It's definitely real.

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Grant Brisbee @grantbrisbee.bsky.social · 5h

I'd call for a mound visit just so I could go out and tell Kahnle that the play is at home, not first, just to eliminate any confusion.

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Grant Brisbee @grantbrisbee.bsky.social · 5h

Fans of the other 28 teams watching this game

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Grant Brisbee @grantbrisbee.bsky.social · 5h

Don’t threaten me with a good time.

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Grant Brisbee @grantbrisbee.bsky.social · 5h

If Dingler’s a-singling, your senses are tingling.

If Dingler’s a-doubling, your outlook is troubling.

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Grant Brisbee @grantbrisbee.bsky.social · 5h

The winner of this game will travel to Toronto to play Vladimir Guerrero III and the Blue Jays.

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Grant Brisbee @grantbrisbee.bsky.social · 6h

I have bad news for Mariners fans.

A screenshot of Parker Meadows’ Baseball-Reference page. Apparently, his nickname is Baby Giraffe, too.

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Grant Brisbee @grantbrisbee.bsky.social · 6h

Yusmeiro Petit is the most Mariners pitcher to never be on the Mariners. I feel like this game is in honor of him.

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Grant Brisbee @grantbrisbee.bsky.social · 6h

Tigers winning the whole thing if they’ve mastered that play.

Ben Ross @benross.bsky.social · 6h

Um did you see that accurate throw to 2nd base???

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Grant Brisbee @grantbrisbee.bsky.social · 6h

I don’t care who wins, I just want the fellas on the field to have fun.

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Grant Brisbee @grantbrisbee.bsky.social · 6h

It sounds like “anal” is the joke.

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Grant Brisbee @grantbrisbee.bsky.social · 6h

Man, I don’t show up in your timeline saying like “Texas A&M is a university but Texas A&L sounds like something I have to delete from my search history, you know what I mean?”

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Grant Brisbee @grantbrisbee.bsky.social · 7h

Someone was paying attention.

Grant Brisbee @grantbrisbee.bsky.social · 7h

Every Mariners hitter gets an iPad when they get in the dugout. It will read, “Swing at the pitches down the middle this time” in 76-point comic sans. They’ll be unsure. Computers have been known to lie.

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Grant Brisbee @grantbrisbee.bsky.social · 8h

are you welsh

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Grant Brisbee @grantbrisbee.bsky.social · 8h

If you think that Kerry Carpenter is in Speier's head, let me tell you about another carpenter who "inspires heads."

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Grant Brisbee @grantbrisbee.bsky.social · 9h

Big throwback to Millie Jackson’s 1979 song “Art Monk (Ain’t No Monk)”

Grant Brisbee @grantbrisbee.bsky.social · 9h

Mariners in 4

Razzball @razzball.bsky.social · 9h

Joe Dirt meets Joe Exotic

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Grant Brisbee @grantbrisbee.bsky.social · 9h

This article was outstanding.

1st Viscount Craigavon @cdgoldstein.baseballprospectus.com · 10h

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Grant Brisbee @grantbrisbee.bsky.social · 10h

🎶 You've got the Dumper 🎶
🎶 And you've got the Dingler 🎶
🎶 Your guy's a thumper 🎶
🎶 Yours is a singler 🎶
🎶 Dumper, Dingler, thumper, single r🎶
🎶 Let's call the whole thing off. 🎶

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Grant Brisbee @grantbrisbee.bsky.social · 12h

it is a bop

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