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St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool

@simeonthefool.bsky.social

1.3K followers 840 following 4.1K posts

Official patron saint of holy fools! And puppeteers. Sillier than thou. Pitied by Mr. T. World’s leading authority on Emile Gouffart. Innocent bystander. Professor Demetrius of Chaos Theology!

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St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · Sep 10

Meet my new bot, @pumpkinspicenoun.bsky.social, which takes every noun in the English language (119,000 nouns, per WordNet, including proper and compound nouns).... and makes it Pumpkin Spice!

Because, well why not, that's why!

bsky.app/profile/pump...

Every Noun, Pumpkin Spiced @pumpkinspicenoun.bsky.social · Sep 10

Pumpkin Spice Epistle To The Colossians

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St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 1h

You see somebody saying “we need to be careful because AI is making it hard to tell when a post is real or when it’s disinformation” and then you look at the post and it’s a video of a reporter with three arms

Reposted by St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool

Nora Reed (they/them ze/hir) @nora.zone · 5h

cry havoc and let slip the frogs of war

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Reposted by St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool

Claire Willett @clairewillett.bsky.social · 3h

I googled “patron saint of frogs” for a bit and then immediately abandoned the bit because I would so much rather actually talk about St. Ulphia the 8th century hermit who cursed her local frogs for keeping her up at night and making her sleep through church

Her hermitage was located in a marshy wetland, inhabited by frogs whose loud croaking kept her up all night. One day, she was so tired that she slept through when Domitius knocked at her door, and he, thinking she had already gone on ahead, left without her. Legend states that Ulphia placed the frogs in the area around her under interdict as a result of their loud croaking, which kept her awake at nights.
A 19th century hagiographer noted that the frogs in the area around the oratory of Saint Ulphia were, indeed, very quiet. However, if these frogs were taken elsewhere, they became boisterous once again.
At the end of her life, she formed and directed a community of religious women at Amiens.
In iconography, she is depicted as a young nun seated in prayer on a rock with a frog in the pool near her.

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St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 2h

A fun game to play on this website sometimes is to log on and try to figure out what everybody is freaking out about today

I wonder if it’s UFOs

MummyUnit of Beach Therapy @mommyunit.bsky.social · 2h

TL is going through things.

St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 2h

This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

Moby Dick @mobydickatsea.bsky.social · 2h

The universe is finished; the copestone is on, and the chips were carted off a million years ago.

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St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 6h

What really takes that to the next level of choosing violence is you didn’t even include a shmear

Reposted by St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool

maimonides nutz @maimonidesnutz.bsky.social · 15h

🎶 Under the Sun
Under the Sun
All day we toil
Dead flies ruin oil
Might as well just have fun

Poor or wealthy we all die
Lords and ladies cheat and lie
One thing is certain
Life is a burden
Under the Sun 🎶

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St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 8h

moist (adj): see Fig. 1

St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 9h

This is the bagel equivalent of that “Agony of Defeat” clip where the guy executes a flawless ski jump and then concludes by faceplanting for 20 yards

St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 9h

Well that doesn’t sound so baWHAAAAT THE HELLL NAWWWWW

Erin Biba @erinbiba.bsky.social · 9h

When Cynthia Nixon ran for governor her bagel order was a city-wide scandal for WEEKS

They called it her Howard Dean scream.

(plain cream cheese, lox, tomatoes, red onion, and capers on a cinnamon raisin bagel)