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Jacob Whittaker

@vonfunkenstein.bsky.social

1K followers 580 following 2.6K posts

Grandson of slain Game Warden Bill Pogue. Veteran of Afghanistan and Iraq. Featured in Jake Tapper's THE OUTPOST: AN UNTOLD STORY OF VALOR. Combat Action Badge. Disabled vet. Father of four. Fears no coward. Go Cubs

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Jacob Whittaker @vonfunkenstein.bsky.social · Apr 14

Find something, a specific thing, and fight for it. Fight hard. Likes, followers, re-posts: None of these things change shit, especially here. Fucking fight for something.

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Reposted by Jacob Whittaker

NetworkforDemocracy @simple-truth.bsky.social · 1d

I'll just leave this here. It's long past my bedtime.

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Jacob Whittaker @vonfunkenstein.bsky.social · 57m

I'm not gonna lie. It was a lot.

Jacob Whittaker @vonfunkenstein.bsky.social · 58m

None of my children have ever seen the Mariners in the alcs. One of my children is a grown-up, married, living across the country.

Jeff Passan @jeffpasan.bsky.social · 1h

FINAL: Mariners 3, Tigers 2

The Seattle Mariners are headed to the ALCS for the first time since 2001 and will face Toronto after Jorge Polanco walked off Detroit in the 15th inning. It was the longest winner-takes-all playoff game in MLB history. Amazing night, amazing series.

Jacob Whittaker @vonfunkenstein.bsky.social · 1h

One of the fun things you learn in The History of the Mariners is that the Brewers were born because of overflowing toilets

Emily "Babe" St. James @emilystjams.bsky.social · 17d

If the World Series is Mariners v. Brewers, I will be so very happy, and I will also be fucking insufferable about the one-season existence of the Seattle Pilots (who moved to Milwaukee and became the Brewers). In every conversation about ANYthing, I will be, like, "But did you know....."

Jacob Whittaker @vonfunkenstein.bsky.social · 1h

That's only half a baseball game's time! A bargain!

mtsw @mtsw.bsky.social · 1h

Good time to take four hours and watch this if you never have before youtu.be/TIgK56cAjfY?...

The History of the Seattle Mariners: Supercut Edition

YouTube video by Secret Base

youtu.be

Jacob Whittaker @vonfunkenstein.bsky.social · 1h

Gonna run out of the stadium like Captain America, wondering what has become of the world beyond these walls

Roger Cormier @yayroger.bsky.social · 1h

HAS ANYONE SEEN MY CAR KEYS?!?!

Reposted by Jacob Whittaker

Razzball @razzball.bsky.social · 1h

When this game started vs when this game ended

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Jacob Whittaker @vonfunkenstein.bsky.social · 1h

It was the Sky Needle when this game started

Sara Sanchez @bcbsara.bsky.social · 1h

Javy Báez was the magician's apprentice when this game started

Jerry Chen @jcsalterego.bsky.social · 1h

Cal Raleigh was small dumper when this game started

Reposted by Jacob Whittaker

Molly Knight @mollyknight.bsky.social · 1h

They not only stop selling beer in the seventh but they straight up run out of food and stop serving anything. We were drinking bathroom sink water out of nacho helmets.

Molly Knight @mollyknight.bsky.social · 1h

As someone who sat through a seven hour, 18 inning playoff game, let me tell u that everyone in that stadium is both freezing and starving lol

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Jacob Whittaker @vonfunkenstein.bsky.social · 1h

The History of the Mariners is finally going to get its happy ending

Jacob Whittaker @vonfunkenstein.bsky.social · 1h

He knows it, too. "THE MARINERS WIN THE BATTLE IN SEATTLE IN FIFTEEN!"

Jacob Whittaker @vonfunkenstein.bsky.social · 1h

Mariners radio pbp guy just named this game: The Battle in Seattle

Jacob Whittaker @vonfunkenstein.bsky.social · 1h

The Jon Bois streams are crossing. You could have watched the entire history of the Mariners twice during this game.

Story might end with arson, at this rate.

Reposted by Jacob Whittaker

Sarah Wexler @sarahwexler.bsky.social · 1h

My current operating theory is that someone must’ve hired an Etsy witch on behalf of the Tigers and they and the Mariners’ Etsy witch are just doing dueling hexes on each other and therefore we are going to be watching this game until the heat death of the universe.

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Jacob Whittaker @vonfunkenstein.bsky.social · 1h

The Cubs live scoreboard guy staring a thousand yards as he replaces the 4 with a 5, humming "cat's in the cradle" mournfully to himself

Jacob Whittaker @vonfunkenstein.bsky.social · 1h

Mariners radio pbp guy just named this game: The Battle in Seattle

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Reposted by Jacob Whittaker

trick van treat @derek.bike · 2h

photo of a blue jay with a speech bubble indicating that it is saying the quoted post

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Jacob Whittaker @vonfunkenstein.bsky.social · 2h

It is the 42nd inning and the mariners have hit into an inning ending double play...

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Jacob Whittaker @vonfunkenstein.bsky.social · 2h

Buy me some pain pills and coke and jack, I don't care if i ever come back

Jacob Whittaker @vonfunkenstein.bsky.social · 2h

Wearily, eyes devoid of life: "and now it's time for the fourteenth inning stretch..."

Jacob Whittaker @vonfunkenstein.bsky.social · 2h

Mariners playing Cubs baseball rn (derogatory)

Reposted by Jacob Whittaker

Patrick Callahan, smashing pumpkins. @iampatrickc.bsky.social · 2h

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Jacob Whittaker @vonfunkenstein.bsky.social · 2h

Showed my wife a picture: "Doesn't seem like it's that big, definitely not worth-"

Showed my wife a video: "oh yeah. Lot going on back there. Makes sense."

Jacob Whittaker @vonfunkenstein.bsky.social · 2h

Ow.

Jacob Whittaker @vonfunkenstein.bsky.social · 2h

I'm curious what audio situation would prevent participation, honestly

Jacob Whittaker @vonfunkenstein.bsky.social · 2h

Someone go wake Griffey up

Ants @ants.bsky.social · 2h

SOME RANDOM MARINER JUST HIT A DINGER I DON'T CARE WHO. CAL. GENO. WALT WHITMAN. WHOEVER.