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A HUNGRY MOUTH @ahungrymouth.bsky.social · 49m

the next baseball game is only going to be three innings to balance it out. should be more exciting but i feel bad for people who bought tickets at full price. that's Hollywood for you

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A HUNGRY MOUTH @ahungrymouth.bsky.social · 4h

hard to explain to my boss that we pulled off a Dude Perfect swish from the rafters

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A HUNGRY MOUTH @ahungrymouth.bsky.social · 4h

every time i present my work like "here's what the numbers say, but on paper doesn't always translate to reality" and then the numbers are very correct and it looks like i'm being pathologically modest, which this post doesn't sound like i am but i usually am

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A HUNGRY MOUTH @ahungrymouth.bsky.social · 4h

i did a bunch of incredible algebra at work this week. some other setbacks, no doubt, but the math (and, let's face it, the people doing the actual work foretold by math) made me look like a hero. i'm setting expectations too high again

A HUNGRY MOUTH @ahungrymouth.bsky.social · Aug 29

i love my job where i do algebra and the algebra is mostly correct and everyone thinks i'm a genius

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A HUNGRY MOUTH @ahungrymouth.bsky.social · 8h

time to cook a dozen gyoza, hit the nicotine vape five times in quick succession and stumble around with the edges of my vision flashing red until i hide behind some waist-high cover for a while

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A HUNGRY MOUTH @ahungrymouth.bsky.social · 8h

i would float toward it and once i arrived at the pie, give it a simple appreciative whistle. it's called adding positivity to the world

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Reposted by A HUNGRY MOUTH

The Ass is the father of the legs @internethippo.bsky.social · 9h

If I caught the scent of a delicious pie cooling on a windowsill I wouldn't float towards it helplessly. I would continue on to whatever business I had that day

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A HUNGRY MOUTH @ahungrymouth.bsky.social · 11h

no!!!

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A HUNGRY MOUTH @ahungrymouth.bsky.social · 15h

plus we're already well past qualified immunity into "what Constitution"

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A HUNGRY MOUTH @ahungrymouth.bsky.social · 16h

what if the book, in an attempt to be more useful, read a different book it was within sight of? pretty soon you have this loop where there are bigger and bigger books reading each other, gaining infinite words

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A HUNGRY MOUTH @ahungrymouth.bsky.social · 16h

i'm worried about if this so-called "knife" sharpens something into a sharper knife, and so forth until it cuts what i call a "hyper-hole"

what if this "wheel" rolling roundens more things into wheels and soon we all become road

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A HUNGRY MOUTH @ahungrymouth.bsky.social · 18h

EPSTEIN: hi D, G and me just talking about cold hair dryer
UNKNOWN: Oops, I meant "Text" Message. Can't Change it!
MAXWELL: It's the 21st century, Donald.
UNKNOWN: Cold is Impossible
MAXWELL: See Jeff?
UNKNOWN: You have to Plug it in "Backwards"

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A HUNGRY MOUTH @ahungrymouth.bsky.social · 18h

Newly released Epstein text logs

EPSTEIN: if u plug in backwards
EPSTEIN: would hair dryer be cold
MAXWELL: Jeff we need to focus on your legal defense right now.
UNKNOWN NUMBER: Hello All! I have bought a "Apple Phone", and can Test Message! DJT is in the 20th Century!

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A HUNGRY MOUTH @ahungrymouth.bsky.social · 19h

White House Staff Hoping Trump Not Look Too Closely At Awarded Noble Pete's Prize

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Reposted by A HUNGRY MOUTH

michael lutz @ztul.bsky.social · Jan 14

and it goes like this:
the fourth, the fifth,
the six and seventh
eighth, ninth, and tenth
and after that are even
bigger numbers

bigger numbers
bigger numbers
bigger numbers
bigger nuuu~uumbee~eeers...

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Reposted by A HUNGRY MOUTH

Brendel @brendelbored.bsky.social · 1d

Homer winning the prize of industrial chimney sweep and being excited and then being shoved into an industrial chimney

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A HUNGRY MOUTH @ahungrymouth.bsky.social · 2d

nice try but that's not even a government post. it's from reddit

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A HUNGRY MOUTH @ahungrymouth.bsky.social · 2d

yeah that did it

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A HUNGRY MOUTH @ahungrymouth.bsky.social · 2d

translator's note: keikaku means Ah! du bringst mir einen Snack?

がんぼるぞい®︎ 💪🐶✨borzoiボルゾイ @ganborzoi.bsky.social · 2d

おやつ持ってるよね？
がんぼるぞい

translation:
Do you have my snack?

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A HUNGRY MOUTH @ahungrymouth.bsky.social · 2d

fuck! i love living by the sword (a shadow falls upon me)

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A HUNGRY MOUTH @ahungrymouth.bsky.social · 2d

i didn't realize that when i invented the thing that labels who they're following that people would be able to see this information. i'm trying to remove it. you people are sick

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A HUNGRY MOUTH @ahungrymouth.bsky.social · 2d

i have removed the "de minimis" exception from my posts. all my posts are now required to get at least 100 likes each. even if they're really bad. especially whenever they're always really bad

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A HUNGRY MOUTH @ahungrymouth.bsky.social · 2d

even if it were possible for there to be a so-called "Great Depression," we would see a profusion of pencils and/or apples on offer to the American consumer

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A HUNGRY MOUTH @ahungrymouth.bsky.social · 2d

capitalism, in its majestic equality, allows rich and poor alike to compete in death games for the amusement of the rich

CerberusXt @cerberusxt.bsky.social · 3d

He truly is the most confidently wrong loser in the world :')

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