Tom Crowley Simulator 2026
@atomcrowley.bsky.social
Writer, actor, comedian. Listen to my sketch comedy show Crowley Time: crowleytime.com
Pinned
A big moment for me! Episode 40 of my sketch and character comedy podcast Crowley Time is OUT NOW, and its very special guest is none other than Mr Podcasts, Mr Show alumnus and Mr Peanutbutter himself, Mr Paul F. Tompkins! On your podcast app and at crowleytime.com!
@pftompkins.bsky.social
@pftompkins.bsky.social
Trump accuses UK of "an act of GREAT STUPIDITY!"
Partridge I Dont Know GIF
Alt: Alan Partridge shrugs at the news that a man has just revamped the BBC's Current Affairs output.
media.tenor.com
January 20, 2026 at 4:34 PM
Trump accuses UK of "an act of GREAT STUPIDITY!"
I sent a similar email to the Independent Podcast Awards.
In a letter to multiple European ambassadors today, President Trump says that because Norway failed to give him a Nobel Peace Prize, “I no longer feel an obligation to think purely of peace”
The letter goes on to demand “complete and total control of Greenland.”
The letter goes on to demand “complete and total control of Greenland.”
January 19, 2026 at 1:09 PM
I sent a similar email to the Independent Podcast Awards.
It is incredibly difficult to make the British people take responsibility and avoid certain purchases for ethical reasons. One nailed-on way to make them do so is to make them 10% more expensive.
January 19, 2026 at 9:32 AM
It is incredibly difficult to make the British people take responsibility and avoid certain purchases for ethical reasons. One nailed-on way to make them do so is to make them 10% more expensive.
Reposted by Tom Crowley Simulator 2026
Oops! Crowley Time is coming back to @machcomedyfest.bsky.social this May! 6pm, Sat 2nd. Come on a futuristic comedy space beano in a beautiful historic venue! Guest stars TBC, and that dancing fool @odinnoh.bsky.social will provide live sound and music! Tickets: machcomedyfest.co.uk/show/2026/cr...
January 18, 2026 at 3:01 PM
Oops! Crowley Time is coming back to @machcomedyfest.bsky.social this May! 6pm, Sat 2nd. Come on a futuristic comedy space beano in a beautiful historic venue! Guest stars TBC, and that dancing fool @odinnoh.bsky.social will provide live sound and music! Tickets: machcomedyfest.co.uk/show/2026/cr...
“Jesus Christ, mate, I’ve had quite a stressful week, okay?” - me in a roast battle.
January 18, 2026 at 5:51 PM
“Jesus Christ, mate, I’ve had quite a stressful week, okay?” - me in a roast battle.
Oops! Crowley Time is coming back to @machcomedyfest.bsky.social this May! 6pm, Sat 2nd. Come on a futuristic comedy space beano in a beautiful historic venue! Guest stars TBC, and that dancing fool @odinnoh.bsky.social will provide live sound and music! Tickets: machcomedyfest.co.uk/show/2026/cr...
January 18, 2026 at 3:01 PM
Oops! Crowley Time is coming back to @machcomedyfest.bsky.social this May! 6pm, Sat 2nd. Come on a futuristic comedy space beano in a beautiful historic venue! Guest stars TBC, and that dancing fool @odinnoh.bsky.social will provide live sound and music! Tickets: machcomedyfest.co.uk/show/2026/cr...
The world's paedos: "Oh no!"
X has stopped working
X has stopped working
www.independent.co.uk
January 16, 2026 at 5:27 PM
The world's paedos: "Oh no!"
Just left The Glitch in Waterloo with a huge smile on my face after seeing Justine Malone’s I’ll Be Back, a fantastic one-woman play riffing on The Terminator with bags of laughs, an excellently crafted story and some real tear-jerking bits. It’s on until Monday! www.tickettailor.com/events/vault...
January 15, 2026 at 9:04 PM
Just left The Glitch in Waterloo with a huge smile on my face after seeing Justine Malone’s I’ll Be Back, a fantastic one-woman play riffing on The Terminator with bags of laughs, an excellently crafted story and some real tear-jerking bits. It’s on until Monday! www.tickettailor.com/events/vault...
For someone in the UK, this is a very confusing post all round.
my sources are telling me jonathan ross’ internal bleeding was the result of wiping his ass too hard
January 15, 2026 at 1:44 PM
For someone in the UK, this is a very confusing post all round.
Reposted by Tom Crowley Simulator 2026
Reposted by Tom Crowley Simulator 2026
I like big butts but I lie constantly. I don't even like big butts
January 14, 2026 at 10:33 AM
I like big butts but I lie constantly. I don't even like big butts
Reposted by Tom Crowley Simulator 2026
WOW! Absolutely over the moon that CROWLEY TIME WITH ME, TOM CROWLEY won the inaugural Best Podcast award at the #GoldenGlobes 2026! Thank you to the panel, to my many guests, to all my listeners, my parents and God. We did it! 🏆
January 12, 2026 at 12:04 PM
WOW! Absolutely over the moon that CROWLEY TIME WITH ME, TOM CROWLEY won the inaugural Best Podcast award at the #GoldenGlobes 2026! Thank you to the panel, to my many guests, to all my listeners, my parents and God. We did it! 🏆
I’m cyberpunk lobster.
Anyone else grow up with Jane Asher’s Fancy Dress book on their bookshelves? I spent ages looking through its pages!
Tag yourself: I’m the woman dressed as a pair of trousers.
Tag yourself: I’m the woman dressed as a pair of trousers.
January 12, 2026 at 8:25 PM
I’m cyberpunk lobster.
Reposted by Tom Crowley Simulator 2026
Writing advice:
“I hope that if I bang my head against the wall, it will help me to think of a story,” said Toad.
January 12, 2026 at 5:43 PM
Writing advice:
WOW! Absolutely over the moon that CROWLEY TIME WITH ME, TOM CROWLEY won the inaugural Best Podcast award at the #GoldenGlobes 2026! Thank you to the panel, to my many guests, to all my listeners, my parents and God. We did it! 🏆
January 12, 2026 at 12:04 PM
WOW! Absolutely over the moon that CROWLEY TIME WITH ME, TOM CROWLEY won the inaugural Best Podcast award at the #GoldenGlobes 2026! Thank you to the panel, to my many guests, to all my listeners, my parents and God. We did it! 🏆
So SegaWorld was only open for three years? And they just happened to be the three years when I was at the right age to think it was the most exciting thing that could ever be imagined by a person?
In 1998, the (bad) Italian movie Cucciolo somehow managed to do something important: they shot quite a long sequence in the now-defunct SegaWorld London, located inside the London Trocadero. The park opened in 1996 and closed in 1999.
Here is the entire sequence.
Here is the entire sequence.
January 12, 2026 at 9:14 AM
So SegaWorld was only open for three years? And they just happened to be the three years when I was at the right age to think it was the most exciting thing that could ever be imagined by a person?
Today’s observation nobody else will care about: I’ve been watching Deep Space 9 on Netflix and assuming it was the highest resolution version available. Now as it’s come off the service, I’ve switched to DVDs and it’s in… twice the resolution? And the colours are much more vibrant? What?
January 9, 2026 at 12:52 PM
Today’s observation nobody else will care about: I’ve been watching Deep Space 9 on Netflix and assuming it was the highest resolution version available. Now as it’s come off the service, I’ve switched to DVDs and it’s in… twice the resolution? And the colours are much more vibrant? What?
Can’t believe that opinions like ‘art is good’, ‘evil robots are bad’ and ‘it’s not nice to be racist’ mark me out as some sort of radical extremist now.
January 7, 2026 at 11:38 AM
Can’t believe that opinions like ‘art is good’, ‘evil robots are bad’ and ‘it’s not nice to be racist’ mark me out as some sort of radical extremist now.
Reposted by Tom Crowley Simulator 2026
No other word has done more damage to the craft of writing in recent years than “content”. Even if you’re using the word “content” ironically, or as a cute little joke, don’t. When someone calls writing “content” they’re pissing on someone’s hard work & passion. “Content” is Technosatan’s henchword.
November 10, 2025 at 9:15 AM
No other word has done more damage to the craft of writing in recent years than “content”. Even if you’re using the word “content” ironically, or as a cute little joke, don’t. When someone calls writing “content” they’re pissing on someone’s hard work & passion. “Content” is Technosatan’s henchword.
*side-eyes chlorine chicken*
British Teen Returning From Semester In U.S. Regales Friends With Tale Of Food That Tastes Good https://theonion.com/british-teen-returning-from-semester-in-u-s-regales-friends-with-tale-of-food-that-tastes-good/
January 6, 2026 at 8:05 PM
*side-eyes chlorine chicken*
Hot thrusters! Look at this incredible painting of Link Tangent, Space Cartographer from my sketch comedy podcast Crowley Time, by listener @moniquegraceart.bsky.social! I am in awe. Particularly of the detail of the charted planets. Thanks Monique! Listen to Crowley Time here: crowleytime.com
January 6, 2026 at 11:26 AM
Hot thrusters! Look at this incredible painting of Link Tangent, Space Cartographer from my sketch comedy podcast Crowley Time, by listener @moniquegraceart.bsky.social! I am in awe. Particularly of the detail of the charted planets. Thanks Monique! Listen to Crowley Time here: crowleytime.com
Hey hang on
January 6, 2026 at 10:43 AM
Hey hang on
(CJ SCREENSHOT) Ah Snake Boys, here we go again.
Sir Ian McKellen and Elijah Wood will reunite as Gandalf and Frodo in ‘THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE HUNT FOR GOLLUM’
Production will begin in May.
(via: Gollumgram)
Production will begin in May.
(via: Gollumgram)
January 6, 2026 at 10:38 AM
(CJ SCREENSHOT) Ah Snake Boys, here we go again.
The theme of my birthday this year is ‘unconventional sci-fi women from the eighties’.
January 2, 2026 at 9:50 AM
The theme of my birthday this year is ‘unconventional sci-fi women from the eighties’.
